My heart slows down to a regular steady beat and my skin cools. I can’t do anything to help Marilyn and I should never have involved her, but she’ll be okay. At worst, she’ll look like a fool, but I’m not sure how far they’ll want to go with prosecuting a woman just out of an abusive relationship. If this all goes wrong and they come for me, I’ll tell them I made her help me. They think I’m still the monster I used to be, they’ll believe it.
Maybe this is how it should be. Me and Katie. Finishing what we started, one way or another. I go outside and light a cigarette in the rain. A few moments of quiet before making the call. The smoke is harsh and it makes my head swim but it feels like coming home. Everything does. The anger and fear simmering inside me, the smoking, the being entirely alone with no one to believe in me.
It’s a perfect mood for Katie.
64
HER
The thing with your generation is you’re all so needy. Narcissistic. Instagram or it didn’t happen. But even with all that it took me a while to find you. You’d be surprised how many Avas of your age there are in Elleston. But I worked my way through them, all those little details of life casually given away, making it so easy to track someone down, and once I saw you with your mother, I knew I’d struck gold. It wasn’t the way she looked – I defy anyone to recognise a woman they knew as a child, we’re all masters of disguise – it was the way she was. Nervous. Hunted. Edgy. Alone.
The waiting was over. I bought the house, and brought passport number three to life. Let a new identity build, watched you both and slowly integrated. Placed myself in the perfect position for studying Charlotte. Easy as pie. Of course this was when I really needed Jon. Not him, obviously, but access to his life. I knew he wouldn’t have changed much – they’re all creatures of routine, aren’t they, and he didn’t have the spine for reinvention – and he was so pitifully glad to see me again. Not for long, obviously.
Once I’d got into your house it was so easy. I took fingerprints from glasses and stole strands of her hair from the bathroom and planted them at Jon’s so the police would think she’d been there. The same with the cottage I rented via his laptop and disposed of him in. I know he was your father, but don’t look at me like that. The man was both weak and a fool. You’d have been disappointed in him, trust me.
I set up a Facebook account for him, liked some of the same pages as you, and, when I was ready, started messaging you. Dear God, you were easy. So needy for love, little Ava. So determined to be a grown-up. You wanted romance. Passion. All that crap.
I wound your mother up too. Little surprises I knew would make her paranoid. Drive her to call her probation officer for reassurance while looking a little bit crazy. And then, when the time was right and the stage set, all it took was one shove of a toddler into the river and boom, a picture in the paper and an anonymous phone call saying I recognised her as Charlotte Nevill.
And here we are. Still waiting. She’ll call soon, I know she will. So, let’s get you into position, shall we? Ready for the show.
65
LISA
‘It’s me.’
For a moment there’s nothing at the other end. I’m gripping the receiver tight to my ear and I’ve pressed myself into the corner of the cafe so close to the glass that there’s instantly a mist of condensation across it from my hot breath, coating the grime.
‘Charlotte,’ she says. ‘You made it.’
‘I want to speak to Ava.’
‘And you will. When you get here. To our hideout. Bonnie and Clyde, finally on the run.’
‘We’re not children any more, Katie. I don’t want to play these games. Let me speak to my daughter. I want to know she’s safe.’ I want to fucking smash your face in, you crazy cunt.
‘You sound like you’re in one of those terrible straight-to-DVD thrillers.’ Her tone is light. Still so well spoken. So Katie. Pristine and perfect. ‘Lighten up. She’s fine. Looking forward to seeing me?’
‘It’s been a long time,’ I say.
‘Not for me, I’ve been seeing you,’ she answers. Her voice drops, becomes deeper, all humour gone. ‘I’m going to give you an address. If you come here on your own I’ll let Ava go. I promise you. She doesn’t interest me. But I swear to God, Charlotte, if you tell anyone else, she’ll be dead before they get through the door. Do you understand?’
I absolutely believe her. Everything she’s put into this, she won’t fall at this hurdle.
‘I understand,’ I say.
‘Don’t dawdle, Clyde,’ she says, after she’s given me the address and told me the front door will be unlocked. ‘It’ll make me suspicious. And aside from that, I can’t wait to catch up.’
‘Oh, I’m coming, Katie,’ I say. ‘You can count on it.’
66
MARILYN
I feel like I’ve been in here for hours, the same questions, the same answers, going round and round in circles. I’ve given them everything I can tell them – about Lisa, at least. The lawyer Simon sent in said it was for the best and it probably is. I told them she got into my car and that I rented her a hotel room. I told them her thoughts on Katie. I haven’t told them about Skegness. If they found Lisa there before she had a chance to find Katie, then Ava is dead. We’ve had ten minutes of peace while Bray was called out of the room, but now she’s back. What next, I wonder? What have they found?
‘My client is aware she made a serious judgemental error by not contacting you immediately Charlotte Nevill approached her, but she fully intended to call you today. Ava Buckridge’s wellbeing is her primary concern and she acted with that at heart. I feel, given her personal situation – a woman who’s been through a serious domestic trauma as well as dealing with the fallout of Charlotte Nevill’s new identity being exposed – there’s nothing to be gained in charging her. She is absolutely remorseful for her actions, which were brought about by impaired judgement from emotional exhaustion and misplaced loyalty to someone she believed to be a best friend.’
‘She has seriously impeded my investigation,’ Bray says. ‘Charlotte Nevill is a dangerous killer.’
‘It’s not her,’ I say, for the thousandth time, despite the glare from the lawyer. ‘It’s Katie. Katie isn’t dead. There was no body. She’s Jodie’s mother. I keep telling you. If you’d seen Lisa, you’d know. She’s convinced.’
‘I’m sure she is,’ Bray says. ‘Perhaps she believes it to be true. Perhaps there are two personalities at work here. Perhaps she’s Charlotte and Katie now. But we’ve searched Amelia Cousins’ house thoroughly and there is nothing to raise suspicion. There is, however, evidence Charlotte has been there. A tape with her and Katie’s initials on was found on Amelia’s bed, alongside a large seashell. Is Lisa headed to a seaside town, Marilyn?’
‘I don’t know,’ I answer. Skegness sits on the tip of my tongue. ‘But maybe Katie left them there as a message for Lisa?’ I won’t call her Charlotte. She’s Lisa to me.
‘Or Charlotte could have left them there as a false lead.’
‘Have you spoken to Amelia Cousins?’
‘Both her and Jodie’s phones are switched off or out of signal range. We knew they were both away. Amelia said she may travel to join her daughter in the finca she’s at in Spain. That’s hardly suspicious.’ She leans across the table. ‘I’m trying to be patient with you Marilyn, I really am. But you need to accept you may have put Ava in danger with your actions. Maybe Amelia and Jodie Cousins too. You need to help us.’
‘While my client believes this version of events to be true, she is doing everything she can to help you.’ His voice is dry. Calm and measured against Bray’s irritation and my exhaustion.
‘Let’s go through it once more. From the beginning. Every detail. There must be something we’ve missed. Start the tape again.’
I take a deep breath and sigh. It’s going to be a long afternoon.
67
LISA