He paused, inhaled a deep, calming breath, and closed his eyes for a moment. Izzy squeezed his hand, giving him strength. When he opened his eyes, she was smiling at him, a warm, encouraging smile, a smile that said she supported him no matter what.
Cooper took another breath and continued as he held tight to Izzy’s warm hand. He couldn’t tell her about that Seattle summer, couldn’t stand to see the censure in her eyes so he skipped that part of the story. “Julie met this guy when she was fifteen. He was bad news, but nothing anyone did could stop her from seeing him. Dad eventually kicked her out a year later. He didn’t want her influencing her two younger brothers, but he was too late. Her behavior did influence us. I need absolute control over my life and any people in my life so I can make sure they’re going to do the right thing. My brother, he did the opposite. He married a woman who controls his every move.”
“I can understand the need to feel in control of your life.”
She didn’t know the half of it because the worst thing of all he kept to himself. Cooper shot Izzy a look that said no kidding, before continuing. “Julie’s drug addiction tore my family apart. My parents did everything they could, spent tons of money on therapists. My mom suffers from Crohn’s disease, and the stress of dealing with Julie caused it to flare up multiple times, putting her in the hospital more than once. The last time she almost died from complications after surgery, which scared the shit out of my dad. He put his foot down and gave Julie an ultimatum, get clean or get out. She didn’t. He cut her off, refused to give her money. He banned her from family gatherings unless she was one-hundred-percent clean. Dad decided it was her or us, and he couldn’t have her dragging the rest of the family down with her any longer.”
“Addiction is a tough thing for families to handle. Cooper, I’m so sorry you dealt with that.”
Usually sympathy irritated him, but from her it filled some of the empty places inside him. He could’ve left it at that, but he didn’t, he kept talking. “I was Riley’s age the last time I saw her, and Julie was about eighteen. She came to my parents’ house, all freaked out on meth, threatened us with a gun. She waved it in our faces and shot into the walls. A neighbor heard the gunshots and called the police. It took a SWAT team to free us from her craziness. They hauled her off to jail. The entire family took out restraining orders against her. Other than a few drunken phone calls begging for money over the years, that was the last we heard of her directly, though she kept in minimal contact with an aunt.” Cooper buried his face in his hands and took slow, deep breaths. Izzy rubbed his back and leaned into his body.
“Cooper. I’m so sorry.”
“I should’ve done something to save her.” He removed his hands from his face, but he didn’t meet her gaze. She put her hand under his chin and lifted his face to hers. Guilt she wouldn’t understand choked him. He’d done this to his sister. He’d kept his mouth shut when she’d needed him the most. He should’ve said something about what happened all those years ago in Seattle. Julie changed that summer of her fourteenth year, and nothing was the same after that.
“Cooper, you can’t blame yourself, but you can help Riley.” Izzy leaned forward and brushed her lips across his, a sweet gentle kiss that said more than all the rough passionate kisses from earlier. It warmed him from the inside out, gave him hope that maybe, just maybe, a normal life might be in the cards for him.
“I knew that was coming,” he muttered. He did blame himself for his sister. He’d kept Julie’s secret all these years. How many others suffered because he’d been a coward?
“Cooper. Put your misplaced guilt to good use. Be a father figure to Riley.” She pulled away from him, glaring down at him.
Cooper snorted at such a ludicrous idea. Him? A father figure? Now that was laughable. Only Izzy wasn’t laughing. She’d pulled her hand from his and leapt to her feet, glaring down at him.
“It’s not funny,” she said, hands on her hips, eyes blazing. He loved that about her, how she could go all sweet and loving one minute then be ready to rip him a new one the next minute. It was sexy as hell and turned him on big time.
“If you say so. Tell that to the guys.”
“You’re great with kids. I’ve seen you work with them in Kids at Play and you have a reputation as a good guy who goes to the Children’s Hospital and always makes time for kids. Why don’t you make time for your own flesh and blood?”
Cooper’s head pounded. She’d never understand, and he doubted he’d be able to explain it well enough not to make it worse.
“Cooper.”
He sighed. She wouldn’t give this up until she got some kind of answer. “I don’t want him to get attached to me.”
“Oh, for God’s sake. That is the stupidest reason I’ve ever heard. You’re a coward, Cooper Black. A pansy-assed coward.” She shook her head, clearly disgusted. “You aren’t protecting Riley. Admit it. You’re protecting your sorry ass.”
He stood, walked casually to the kitchen, and found a beer in fridge. After popping the top, he took a long swallow. Izzy watched him from across the room, still glaring, hands still on hips.
“You’re not going to let me off that easy, are you?”
She shook her head, walking in that sexy, graceful way only she had which made his mouth water. She sat down on the very barstool that he’d fucked her brains out on earlier and leaned on her elbows. Stalling, he poured her another glass of her favorite sweet white wine, even though she hadn’t asked for it, grabbing himself a bottle of beer.
“Any word on Riley’s mom?” Instead of pushing him about Riley, she’d surprised him with that question, though he knew she’d work it back around to the previous subject.
“My PI thought he’d spotted her a few times, but when he moved in, she disappeared. I think she’s still alive.”