As the wisps of faded souls flutter against me, I close my eyes, trying to think how best to invite them to me. As it turns out, I do not have to. Merely having the thought causes them to flock to me like moths to flame, the dark gray ripple of their invisible wings barely detectable.
It is the weight of their souls and memories that nearly causes me to stagger. The neigh of a war horse. A flash of steel. An aching regret for a pair of lips that will never be kissed again. A surge of honor here. A wave of shame at being bested there. It is like running my hand through the small stones in a riverbed, each one cold, vividly colored, and uniquely formed.
Except for one—one of them is shockingly vibrant, so much so that I wonder if one of the wounded on the battlefield was overlooked and that he passed into death but recently.
Before I can fully explore this, I am distracted by a living heartbeat mounting the stairs behind me. My eyes snap open, and I quickly lower my arms. The heart beats in a rhythm so slow and deep and steady that I recognize it immediately.
Beast.
His physical presence has all the subtlety of a small mountain, and as he draws closer, the tattered remains of the lingering souls retreat. He slips his arm around my waist and pulls me close—the only man in the kingdom who could survive taking such a liberty with his throat intact.
He leans in and places his lips against my ear. “You are brooding.” The warmth of his breath causes me to shiver. “I was on my way from the training yard to change for the council meeting and could feel it all the way down in the courtyard,” he murmurs.
I am both vexed and pleased by this connection between us that allows him to know my thoughts so very well. “You’ve straw for brains if you think that.”
“So you are always telling me.” He presses a kiss into the top of my hair, and I allow my head to drop back against his shoulder. It is like leaning against a boulder, implacable and solid. And warm. This particular boulder gives off a ferocious heat.
They have always called him Beast, for truly he looks the part, with his nearly mythical strength and grotesque appearance. Many fear him. But many more—mostly young children and those who have fought with him—are able to see past the ugliness to the kindness and humor that shine in his eyes.
Unless those eyes happen to be lit with battle lust—then one must say a hasty prayer to the Nine and get out of his way. But for me, being with him is like basking in the warmth of the sun after a long winter, chasing away the dark shadows that lie as heavily upon me as a chill.
If I do not say something—and soon—I fear I will begin to purr. “I never brood. I am taking some fresh air, that is all. You have no idea what it is like to be stuck in a roomful of ladies sewing and talking, talking and sewing, from dawn until midnight, their tongues as fast and sharp as their needles. It is enough to drive me mad.”
“I thought you liked sharp, pointy things.”
“I prefer them to be deadlier than a simple sewing needle.”
“I have no doubt that even a simple sewing needle would be deadly in your hands.” He places another kiss upon the shell of my ear, his lips soft and fleeting. Between the crowded palace and our respective duties, our time alone is rare.
And forbidden. The behavior of a lady in waiting to the duchess must always be maidenly, modest, and above reproach. Many would condemn us for our stolen moments. Others would try to use it as a weapon against us. Fortunately, the duchess is a romantic at heart and turns a blind eye.
“So what were you brooding on? It can’t be Charlotte or Louise, for I passed them just now, happily playing in the garden with Tephanie.”
“Did you take a blow to your head in the training yard that has robbed you of your wits? I am not brooding.”
He purses his mouth, drawing his face into a most comical arrangement of scars and lumps. “Is it because the duchess has ordered Ismae to remain here in Brittany with Duval?”
I snort. “There is your problem. It is Ismae who is brooding, not me. Mayhap it is she you heard.”
He shakes his great head. “Only your brooding seems to get past my thick skull.” He reaches up and scratches his ear. “It must be Annith, then. You are worried about her returning to the convent with Balthazaar.”
Balthazaar. The name of the former leader of the hellequin is still unfamiliar on my tongue. “As if Annith and Balthazaar aren’t match enough for anything the convent should think to put in their way.” In truth, this oaf has named every one of my worries so far.
“I heard about your encounter with Crunard, but you can’t be brooding over that. Knowing you, it was the high point of your day.”
“If you ever think something so foolish, I will gut you and dance while you bleed.”
That surprises a laugh out of him. “You will be the death of me, Sybella.”
“Ah! That is why you court me. You are only curious to learn what it is like to die at the hands of one of Mortain’s own.”
“I have been found out.” He lowers his head, his lips brushing against mine. The harshness of his ugly face, his sheer physical strength, should feel menacing, but it doesn’t. Instead being with him fills me with both light and hope, something I have had far too little experience with. I lean in to him. Heat curls up from deep within my body, the sensation still new and unfamiliar. This feeling of desire—of want—is something I’d thought lost to me forever.
His mouth on mine is slow and deliberate; the rough, callused tips of his fingers slide down my shoulders, feather light along my arms, down to my hands. When they reach the heavy ring on my finger, he stops kissing me and pulls my hand up closer to study it. I resist the urge to yank it away. After a moment of silence, he rubs his thumb over the black obsidian that hides a sharp barb tainted with poison. “I thought you’d given this to the duchess.” His voice is carefully devoid of emotion.
“I did,” I say lightly. “But it was only meant as a way out in her darkest hour, and she was eager to be free of it.”
“Would that she had thrown it in the midden heap,” he grumbles.
I remove my hand from his and place my palms against his cheeks. “It is a weapon now, Beast. Nothing more. I swear it.” Before we can resume where we left off, I feel another presence on the stairs behind us. A much smaller, younger presence. “We have company.”
Beast steps crisply away, looking neither rushed nor guilty, and is standing by the ramparts when the page reaches us.
“Sir Waroch,” he says breathlessly. “Lord Duval asked to see you right away. I’m to tell you that riders from the house of Rohan have been spotted.”
Beast and I exchange a look. “Rohan?” he asks.
“Yes, my lord.”
“Very well. Go on. I’ll be right behind you.”
The lad bobs a bow before turning to clatter back down the stairs.