She finally looks back at me; she looks like some spirit has returned but not much. I know this won’t be good before she even says a word. I have to fight the urge to punch something, reminding myself that I asked for this.
“The second year was when he started to change a little. We didn’t go visit my grandparents as much. He was always asking me to stay home and not meet Dee for lunch or dinner. Little things that I didn’t notice at first . . . until they became big things.” She gives a bitter snort before taking another big intake of air. “I hadn’t seen Dee in a few weeks. I think it was a Wednesday . . . I don’t know. He was going to be late that day, and the only thing I could think was, Finally . . . finally I can see Dee. A half-hour coffee date with Dee turned into a split lip. I didn’t even think he was out of line, you know. I thought I deserved it. I think Dee always knew things were off in the Hunter house. About a month after that, I ran into her again. She begged me to open up to her, but I told her I was fine. Fine. What a joke that was.”
If I couldn’t feel my blood rushing through my body right now, I would be convinced I have turned to stone. Words were beyond me, and my earlier taunts were smacking me all in the face.
I will kill this motherfucker.
“Princess,” I reach down for her hand but she pulls it close to her body. “Was that the only time he put his hands on you?” I try for soft, but the lethal fury in my voice can’t be missed.
“For a while. They didn’t start getting bad for another few months. He acted like he was sorry and it was an accident. They didn’t get bad until around our third anniversary.”
“What exactly is defined as bad? Because I can’t find any good way for a man to touch a woman like that.”
When her eyes come back to me and that single fat tear slips from her eye, I know. I just know.
“Don’t you feel pity for me. This wasn’t your mess. You didn’t make him do it. I should have left, been strong enough to leave. I didn’t have anyone, Axel, so don’t think I didn’t think about it. He was smart. He cut me off from everyone. I didn’t even get to go to my grandmother’s funeral, and Pop . . . He wasn’t doing well either. I didn’t want Dee to know how bad it was. I was stuck . . . Stuck with no one.”
This heavy pain shoots through my left side at her words. I should have been there, and as ridiculous the thought is, I can’t shake the thought that I let this girl down somehow. I have spent years hating her, thinking she had just forgotten us and moved on. To know she suffered is not sitting well.
“You know about Mom and Dad, right?” She looks up at me, all sad and broken, for confirmation. With my weak nod, she continues. “Dee was all I had left. She finally caught me alone one day. I was picking up some groceries. That was one of the only things I was allowed to do alone. She pulled me into the bathroom and begged me to talk, begged me to leave. I brushed her off again. She bought me a prepaid phone and told me to call her, day or night, if I needed her. We were able to sneak a few calls and secret meetings but not many. She didn’t live far, close enough to come when I could get away.” She stops for a while, and I just sit there, struck dumb, waiting on her to continue, all the while struggling not to go find this fucker.
“Are you sure we need to go over this? It isn’t pretty, Axel.”
I want to scream, No. No I don’t want to hear this. Anything but this. “Yeah, Izzy, keep going.”
“Okay . . .” Pause. “Well . . .” Pause. Inhale. Exhale. “A few years back, I went to meet Dee. Nothing big, just wanted to see her. We had it all planned. I called her the day before from the phone she gave me, told her I missed her and just wanted to spend some time together. I set dinner in the slow cooker, ran my errands, and snuck in a Dee visit. It would have been fine and he never would have been the wiser but I was running late. He got home right after me, and even though I thought I had made it . . . he knew.” She stops and levels her eyes with mine. Her eyes almost look gray. Her eyes always used to change with her moods . . . and gray was always the one I hated the most. “That was the night I finally used that phone for her to save me.”
I don’t realize I’m not breathing until my chest starts hurting. I can’t even move, can’t even allow myself to move. My God . . .
“I got lucky. When I passed out, the game wasn’t fun anymore, and for the first time, he left after he finished with me. Dee got there and got me out quick. I haven’t seen him since the day I picked up my stuff. The divorce has been in limbo for the last six or so months.”