“I started working on this book idea I had a few years ago. I never thought that I would do anything more than play with it, but the story has been demanding I finish it lately. I don’t know how to explain it. I feel like I need to write it more than I need to breathe. It sounds so silly.” I try to hide my face again, afraid that I might start crying and basket-case Chelcie will come out to play.
“Chelcie, there is nothing about that that sounds silly. I’m so proud of you. It takes serious guts to be able to write something that means that much to you. I hope one day you’ll let me read it.”
“You really want to read it? It’s not like . . . man stuff. It’s romance, baby.” I place one hand on his solid chest and the other against his cheek.
He turns his head, nuzzling my palm for a second before placing one of his famous sweet kisses against my skin. My whole body swoons from just that alone.
“You bet that sweet ass I want to read it. Come on. We’ll talk about this kick-ass book of yours on the way to the doctor.” He leans in and places a kiss against my stomach before standing up. “Time to figure out if I need to buy stock in Smith & Wesson or Magnum.”
“Oh, God! You’re incorrigible!” I laugh, slapping his hard abs while I stand.
“Come on, woman. Let’s get out of here so I can get you back and strip you naked.”
CHAPTER 21
Asher
“What are you thinking about?” Chelcie questions from the passenger’s seat.
God, she looks beautiful. The sun’s hitting her blonde hair, making it look like she’s got a halo around her. She’s got on some tight shirt that puts so much emphasis on her belly. And damn, that belly—she went from hardly showing to popping out overnight. And it’s the most attractive thing I’ve ever seen.
I don’t even know how to explain it. I know the baby isn’t mine, but in my mind, I love him or her just as if it were. Chelcie talked to me the other night about it, her worries that I might not be with her for the right reasons, but I stopped that crazy shit right away. That woman has no clue how much I love her. I never thought I would be capable of this. Never thought that I could trust a woman enough to hand over my heart, my emotions, and play a game of chance. With her, there’s no doubt that this is real.
I fought the feelings I had for her before I even knew that there was a baby. Knowing she’s pregnant, and with Coop’s baby, isn’t awkward or confusing for me. I can separate my feelings. I love them both differently. She’s my reason for getting up in the morning. My reason for knowing that I can get up in the morning. And that baby? God, that baby gives me a little hope. Hope that the world isn’t a giant fucked-up version of Hell. That innocent baby, my brother’s baby, is my blood and I will love it just like it was my own.
“Ash?” she inquirers at my silence, turning slightly in her seat to face me.
I grab her hand, giving her a squeeze before I place our joined hands against her bump. “Just thinking about how different my life is than it was a few months ago. I’m happy, Chelcie. I’m really happy and I didn’t think I would feel that way again.”
She smiles that fucking gorgeous smile at me, and I notice a second too late that she’s about to lose it. She clutches my hand, bringing it up to her chest at an awkward angle, and hugs it. If I weren’t accustomed to her whiplash-like mood swings, I would be alarmed. I smile knowingly at her and wait for the tears to stop and her grip to lighten up on my hand.
“I’m sorry,” she hiccups.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about. Not sure what brought on the waterworks, Sunshine. Least I can tell that’s a good thing.”
“Oh hush, you! It is a good thing. I’m so proud of you, Ash.” She sobers, leans her head against the seat, and looks at me, her eyes dark with emotion.
“And why exactly are you proud of me?” I joke.
“You’ve come so far. You’re fighting that darkness all on your own, Ash.” She sighs. “You have no idea how incredible you are.”
I look over at her in shock. How can she even begin to think that I’ve done this alone? My God, if it weren’t for her, I would still be lost. She’s the reason I’m not trapped in that black hole of grief.
“You really believe that, don’t you? That I did this all on my own?”
She nods, looking perplexed at my question.
“Damn, woman. One of these days, you’re going to see just how much you give me. I didn’t do this alone. I did this with you right by my side.” Her eyes start to fill with tears, and this time, I know what’s coming before she starts. “Chelcie. Dry it up, baby. Nothing to cry about, okay?”
She nods her head, kisses her fingers, and brings them to my cheek. “If I didn’t have this big ol’ belly, I would kiss the mess out of you, Asher.”
“Right back at ya, babe.”
We make the rest of the drive to the doctor in a comfortable silence. I let the nerves pick back up at the thought of this coming appointment.
“So tell me what I’m about to experience.”