Now I just need to know that Melissa and the girls are okay. It is literally killing me with each second that audibly ticks away from the clock in the corner. Without knowing, every single one of those seconds begins to feel like hope flying farther and farther away from my grasp.
It isn’t long after they finished cleaning all his cuts and stitching up the deeper ones that Cohen fell asleep. I know it’s the crash from the adrenalin and the pain medication that they gave him, but I hate it. I want to be able to see his eyes and know that he’s okay.
I keep one hand around his and the other placed lightly on his stomach so that I can feel his breaths causing it to rise and fall.
And I wait.
I almost jump out of my skin when the door finally opens again and a forty-something doctor enters. His expression doesn’t give anything away as he walks farther into the room, stopping at the foot of Cohen’s bed. I stare into his dark blue eyes, both praying for the best and fearing the worst.
It isn’t until I look down and notice ‘OBGYN’ on his white jacket that I feel something akin to terror crawl down my spine.
“Mr. Cage?”
I nod, afraid to speak.
“I’m Dr. Lowery. I know you’re asking about your wife, and I apologize that I don’t know more. About two hours ago, I performed an emergency Cesarean section on your wife. My job was to quickly deliver both of your daughters safely, and the last I heard, your wife is still in surgery. Both of your daughters are stable and in the NICU. Mr. Cage, I know you and your wife were told about the possibility that she wouldn’t make it to term, but it’s going to be a long road ahead for your daughters.”
I close my eyes, feeling my despair fall one tear at a time down my face. I listen to every word that Dr. Lowery speaks. Steroids, feeding tubes, antibiotics, nasal CPAP, and monitors. I hear the words, but I don’t understand them. My girls shouldn’t be here yet, and no matter what he said earlier about Melissa being in surgery, the only thing that I can focus on is that if my girls had to be removed from their mother early, how badly is she injured?
“ . . . see your daughters shortly.”
“I’m sorry?” I have to force myself to look back up into his knowing eyes.
He smiles kindly and takes another step into the room. “I spoke with your son’s doctor before coming in. He’s lucky, and they’ll be discharging him within the hour. We’ll get you up to see your daughters shortly, Mr. Cage.”
I just nod my head and watch him turn and leave. My mind is refusing to make sense of everything that’s happening around me. The only thing keeping me from running through this whole damn building until I find Melissa and my daughters is the little banged-up boy sleeping in front of me.
With a deep breath and another silent prayer, I wait again.
With every minute that passes and still no word on Melissa, I feel more and more of my soul being stripped from my body. That hope I had earlier has become so small that I almost can’t feel it anymore.
In the last hour, I’ve had nurses come in to check Cohen and Axel come back to update me on who is here and to tell me the same thing each time—no one will tell him anything. I’ve filled out a million and one pieces of paper, and now I just keep staring at the two bracelets the last nurse attached to my wrist.
I finger the bracelets, watching them spin around my wrist, and once again fight the urge to take off on a hunt for my family.
My daughters . . . My girls are here and fighting in some cold and sterile room. They’re fighting to live and there isn’t a damn thing I can do to protect them. Every instinct in my body is telling me to go into protector mode.
My wife, my beautiful and loving wife, is somewhere within these walls, and the unknown is tearing me apart.
“Daddy?” Cohen’s soft whisper has me dropping my hands and looking over at him. “Will Mommy be okay?” His chin starts to tremble slightly.
“C-Man, can I tell you a secret?” He nods his head, a few tears slipping past his lids. “I’m going to teach you a trick. Remember when I told you that we always protect the women we love? Well, Mommy and your sisters need a special kind of protection. They need us to keep strong and share our strength with them. Every time you think about your mommy, you give her just a little more strength. And when you tell her you love her, it’s even stronger. So right now, we’re going to sit here and we’re going to talk about every single thing we love about your mommy. And when we finish with that, we’re going to talk about every single thing we can’t wait to show your sisters. Then it won’t be long before they have so much strength that they just can’t help but get better.”
And that’s just what we do. I hold his little hand and we talk about every single thing we love about Melissa until they finally release Cohen from their care.
I hold it in, but deep down, I feel the bone-deep fear that I have no control over the outcome.
With my son in my arms, we walk out of the exam room and follow the nurse up to the NICU, where I’m told a doctor will find me shortly with news on the babies and Melissa.
My heart is somewhere in this hospital, and I can only hope and pray that everything will be okay.