“I didn’t say that. What I said was it’s too much. I lost my job because of her, Greg. My job and my family’s income, all gone because of your fuck buddy.”
“Baby, I get that this is some heavy shit but you need to understand that I wasn’t a saint before I met you. I wasn’t perfect, not even close, but that shit with Mandy ended when we started. Not that there was much to end, but I made it clear to her at the wedding that we were finished. I made it clear again, when she showed up at the gate throwing more shit. I don’t know what’s going on in her mind but I’ll find out. I don’t want you to worry about her.”
“I believe you. I do, but that doesn’t change the fact that I lost a lot more today than just some skin on my arm.” I flinch at the reminder of just how dangerous this situation was today.
“Let me take care of it, baby.”
“How are you going to take care of this?” Her brow furrows, and confusion mixed with disbelief flashes in her eyes.
“First, you’re going to let me deal with Mandy but I still want a restraining order on her. Second, I know some people around town. I just did a security install for a general practitioners office right down the street. Just let me call and see if he’s hiring. Third, let me in. Just let me in, Beauty.
The silence around us while she takes in my words is heavy. She doesn’t want to let me in. I know this, but that doesn’t mean that I will stop until she at least lets me have the chance to prove to her I deserve it.
“Meli, baby,” I sigh. “Trust me when I tell you that I have lived a life that makes me know when something is worth fighting for. I took one look at you and knew you were worth it to me. It’s new, I get that, but I know you feel it too.”
“I feel it,” she whispers. “I feel it and it terrifies me.”
“Why? What has you scared, baby? Tell me so I can help.”
“You don’t understand. When I lost Fia, something inside me changed. I have always been the guarded one in the family. Mom is amazing but she is weak. Fia was the same way. They let men walk all over them and I always said I wouldn’t be like that. I wouldn’t need a man. My dad, piece of shit. What I do remember isn’t pretty and I watched my sister relive that nightmare with no hopes of helping her. For years, I have had fun but never let a man in. Greg, you have the power to not only get in but to destroy me if you ever want back out.”
“I can’t make you promises, Beauty. I can’t sit here and tell you that I’m worth letting those walls down for. But, I can tell you that if the way I feel for you now keeps growing, there isn’t an army strong enough to pull me out. Spent too long wanting someone worth it and as crazy as it sounds? One look baby . . . it took one look that even being covered in Nate’s vomit couldn’t dim how bright that beauty knocked me down.”
She laughs softly but still looks at me as if she is worried I might vanish with her next breath. “I want to be there. There’s just so much going on. Now this, us, and everything else that’s flying around out of control. I don’t know how to just let go.”
“Let me in,” I stress again.
“I—I don’t know how.” It’s like watching a caged animal try to escape. I can tell she wants to, she wants to let me in so bad, but she really doesn’t know how.
“You don’t have to be strong all the time. Let me take it, Beauty. Let me be your rock. Let ME fight. For Christ sake, let me be who you need.”
Each word out of my mouth has her eyes widening. Hell, I don’t even know where that all came from but I need her to understand. I need her to get on the same page as I am before I am the one losing myself in someone who doesn’t want me.
“My mom has custody of Cohen, Fia’s son, but that is only because with all the hours I work it isn’t possible for me to have him. I spend as much time as I can with him, but that still isn’t enough. Mom’s old but can still get around. She doesn’t work, because, well . . . she’s old. And even though she can get around, that doesn’t mean she does it without difficulties. My check pays for everything, which is why I live in a shit-hole apartment in the middle of the hood. Cohen and his wellbeing get it all. Do not think that is a complaint. I would give everything for that kid.” She pauses and looks into my eyes for a few seconds before looking back at my hand resting on her leg. I give her a light squeeze and she continues, “Simon, Fia’s ex, was a real douche. Already told you about him, but even though he is gone, I still feel like he is fucking with my family. His mom, Susan, has been coming around for the last year trying to get Cohen. She tried to go the legal route, but there was no judge in the world that would give her custody or even visiting rights. Bad, the worst kind of human being.”