My eyes widen and shoot to Chelcie when I hear her call me Daddy. We haven’t discussed my role in the baby’s life. Will I be the uncle/boyfriend, the uncle/husband, the uncle/daddy? Because every time I think I should bring it up, I feel even more confused. I know what I want—I want to raise this baby as if it were my own—but I also want him or her to know who their daddy is. I will never let a day go by that this baby doesn’t know how much their daddy wishes he could be here. But yeah—I want to be the daddy in the sense of the word.
I take a chance and look over at Chelcie. She’s looking at me with an expression of love and contentment. I take a deep breath and squeeze her hand. Whatever just happened here, we can talk about later, but right now, all I feel is peace and happiness.
Then it happens.
I look over at Dr. Sosa then down to Chelcie’s belly, where that weird microphone is pressed against her skin. The noise echoing through the room sounds like a million horses running at rapid speed. I widen my eyes when I realize what that noise is.
Holy Lord, that’s the heartbeat!
I stand there in shock, my eyes refusing to move from her stomach even after Dr. Sosa removes the microphone thing and goes to address Chelcie.
“Oh, cari?o, the bebé sounds perfect. 142 beats per minute. Nice and healthy.” She smiles and moves to the computer on the desk. “Are you ready for the ultrasound? Such an exciting time, yes?”
“Yes, Dr. Sosa. I’ve been waiting for this appointment since I found out I was pregnant. Do you think that we’ll be able to find out the gender today?” Chelcie asks wistfully.
“I believe that, if you’ve got a cooperative little one, then we should have no troubles.”
I help Chelcie off the table and steady her until she can straighten her clothing. She looks up at me, questions in her eyes, and I just smile. I know she’s wondering how I’m dealing with all of this. Truth be told, this is the most astounding moment of my life. I can’t describe what that felt like. To hear the life growing inside her belly was thrilling and magical. I don’t think, until this moment, that it had really hit me that this is real.
Dr. Sosa leads us down the hall into a room that is dimly lit. There’s an exam table that looks more comfortable than the last one she was in and a big machine with all sorts of knobs and shit on it next to the table. And then there’s the screen. A large projector type screen sits opposite her table.
I take another deep breath, help Chelcie back onto the table, and move to stand out of the way. Before I can get too far, her hand shoots out and grabs my arm.
She looks at me shyly for a second before speaking. “Please? You belong right next to me, baby.”
Well hell, you don’t have to tell me twice. She keeps hold of my hand as we wait for the doctor to enter some information into the machine at Chelcie’s hip. After a few minutes, she squirts that gel back on her stomach, only a hell of a lot more, and presses what I’m assuming is the wand to her stomach. Thank God she prepared me for this because there is no way that’s comfortable.
“You okay, Sunshine?” I question.
Her eyes glaze over, looking over my shoulder. “I’m perfect,” she hums. “Look,” she demands, raising the hand I’m not holding and pointing to the wall.
I turn and immediately feel my body rock. It feels like an earthquake just rocked the very foundation I’m standing on. There, looking back at me, is a large, black-and-white, fuzzy image. A moving image that is clearly…a baby.
The baby.
“Is that?” I inquire, my voice a low whisper.
“That’s our baby,” Chelcie says with awe. She doesn’t even seem to notice that she called the baby ours. I’m unsure if the feeling of pride that is washing through my system is from that one softly spoken word or seeing the baby for the first time.
“Beautiful,” I slur through the thick knot of emotion burning my throat.
I don’t even bother hiding the amazement and unadulterated wonder. This is a moment in my life that I will never forget.
“Everything looks beautiful. Would you two like to know what the gender is? I’ve got quite a clear shot,” she laughs.
“Please,” I whisper, looking down into Chelcie’s wet eyes.
She nods her head, and then I hear it. Another moment in my life when I’m knocked right on my ass.
“Congratulations, you’ve got a perfectly healthy baby boy.”
A boy.
In that moment, I feel like my brother is right here with us. Cheering right along with us. Enjoying this moment for everything it is. Celebrating the life he created. Happy and content.
And that’s all it takes for me to drop to my knees and press my forehead to Chelcie’s belly. I don’t even give a damn that that gel crap is getting all over me. I bring my hands up and frame her stomach, whispering words of love and promises of the future I’ll make sure this little boy has. I can feel Chelcie’s shudders and I know that she’s crying again, but I don’t dare call her on it since I can feel the tears falling from my own eyes.
After a few minutes, I climb to my feet and rub my eyes against my sleeve before moving in, taking her face between my palms, and kissing her with everything I have. We don’t need words right now. She knows—she gets it.
I vaguely hear the click of the door as the doctor leaves us to our moment. Lost in our own thoughts but connected together with our love for each other and our love for this baby.
This little boy.