I walked up the rows until I reached the stage, but there were no steps leading up. Jay reached down and took my hand, his magnetic eyes meeting mine. They dazzled me, made feel like a kid stepping into a funfair. A jolt went through me at the feel of his palm. When was the last time Jon had held my hand? I honestly couldn’t remember. A second later Jay led me to the center of the stage where there was a narrow bench. It was the only set piece, the rest of the area being empty.
Jay gestured for me to sit then pulled a newspaper out of his back pocket. They seemed to be a favored prop of his. He sat next to me, his thigh resting against mine and I wondered if it was intentional. Soft piano music started to play. Carefully, he unfolded the paper, first taking one sheet and spreading it out on my lap, then taking another and spreading it out on his. He continued in this vain, speaking as he worked his way through the paper.
“The Victorian art critic John Ruskin once said that a little thought and a little kindness are often worth more than a great deal of money. When I was a young kid, I didn’t have a home. I slept on the streets and in abandoned buildings, and sometimes the only thing that kept me from freezing to death was a bit of old newspaper that I used to cover my body.”
Both our laps were covered in newspaper. Something in my stomach unfurled at his unexpected, yet casually spoken words. He’d been homeless? A sense of sadness filled me up just to think it.
Still talking, Jay continued spreading the newspaper out over our laps until he used every sheet. Then, he began to carefully fold it, starting at the outer corners and working his way in.
“Someone might’ve left their newspaper on a park bench, not realizing that later I would find it and use it to survive another night. Maybe you could call that unconscious kindness. They had no clue they were helping me by leaving that paper behind. Then you have conscious kindness. One day I was performing magic tricks on the street, and a smartly dressed woman dropped a hundred-dollar bill into my hat. That hundred might’ve been a drop in the bucket for her, but to me it meant I could go buy myself a sleeping bag and food to last the next two weeks. It meant survival. The sleeping bag was cheap, sure, but it might as well have been a four-poster bed at the Four Seasons compared to what I was used to. Her kindness that day was like seeing a flower bloom when you’ve been traipsing through an arid desert, because you know that means water is near.”
I was captivated by his tale of hope, the soft piano music tinkering at my heart strings. I was so transfixed that I only now realized he’d folded the sheets of newspaper in a way to look like a bunch of flowers. He held them out to me, but before I could take them there was a rustle and a beautiful white dove emerged from the paper. I gasped. It flew out and landed on Jay’s hand. My pulse thrummed, it was so unexpected.
“Her kindness was a miracle. It was a white dove flying out of a bit of tatty old newspaper. People don’t need much. Sometimes we just need someone to be kind to us. One act of kindness can transform our lives. Often, our inclination is to hoard what we have, keep it all for ourselves, going to no use, when there’s someone out there whose entire world could be changed if we gave them just a tiny portion of what’s ours. Tupac Shakur said this world is a gimme, gimme, gimme, everybody back off place. He asked how one person could have $32 million dollars and another person could have nothing,” he swiped his hands around his dove and it disappeared. Wow. “And yet the person with 32 million can still sleep at night. I guess what I’m trying to say is, the only way the world will ever get better is if we’re kinder, if we share a little of what we’ve got but don’t need, with the next person who hasn’t got it and does need it. After that day when the lady gave me that money, things started to slowly get better for me. It was the starting point to me getting off the streets. So, there’s your proof.”
As he spoke, Jay tore the newspaper flowers strip by strip. Pieces of paper fell to the floor like so much confetti, until only one folded and torn piece was left. “Kindness worked for me, and maybe it can work for you, too,” he finished, then unfolded the paper. There was an audible gasp, because somehow, he’d managed to tear it in a way to form the words “Be Kind”. He threw the paper into the audience, took a bow, then walked off the stage.
I sat there, enthralled, as the audience gave their applause. I couldn’t move, was still absorbing his speech and the beauty of the act, the meaning of his words and the simple truth of them. This was the first time I’d felt true wonder since I was a kid. When I realized I was still sitting there, slack jawed, I got up, and instead of climbing off the stage I walked in the direction Jay had gone.
I found him backstage, placing his dove in a cage before taking a swig from a bottle of water.
“That was beautiful,” I breathed, snagging his attention. His smile lit up his face, and there was an energy about him, a kinetic field that shimmered and pulsed.
“Glad you liked it, Janie.”
“Why did you ask me up on stage?”
He gave a little grin and lifted a shoulder. “Felt like you needed a thrill.”
Hmmm, maybe I did. I certainly felt…I don’t know, more alive somehow. But still, I sensed that wasn’t the reason. “I don’t believe you.”
“Maybe I just wanted an excuse to charm you. See if you’ll take me home with you tonight. My hotel’s been feeling a little lonely.”
My mouth fell open. I closed it. “I told you, I have a boyfriend, and we live together, so—”
“But if you didn’t live together…” Jay arched a suggestive brow. Perhaps Marie was right about him being cocky after all. He threw his hands up. “Relax, I’m joking. I’m just happy you decided to come. I was a little disappointed when you didn’t show.”
“I was late because this place is so ridiculously difficult to find.”
“Why didn’t you just Google it?”
“I…” I trailed off, not wanting to get into the whole Google thing again. “I don’t have a cell phone, remember? Anyway, I just wanted to say that I think you’re very talented, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you make it big one of these days. I only caught the end of your performance tonight and it gave me serious chills. Good chills. The kind you get when you’re reminded of a fond memory, not the kind a cat gets when it’s frightened. Did you know that we inherited goosebumps from our animal ancestors? When cats are scared, they get goosebumps and their hair stands on end to make them look bigger, and therefore more threatening to the predator that’s frightening them. Anyway, I’m getting off topic. What I mean is, your act is incredible, and I want to make sure you know it. Plus, your message really struck a chord with me, and with a lot of people in the audience I’m sure. You’re not just doing magic tricks, you’re making people think. And making people think is important. People don’t think enough these days, if you ask me.”
“Janie.” Jay’s voice was seductive whisper.
“Yes?”
“Shut up for a second.” His eyes glittered as he took a step forward, placed his hands on either side of my face, and kissed me right on the lips. With tongue. My heart stuttered, and I wobbled on my feet. I was dumbstruck and tingling all over. One hand left my face so that he could wrap his arm around my waist, probably to keep me from toppling over, which I was thankful for. I’d taken my fair share of swan dives in my time and they weren’t pretty.
What was pretty was Jay’s warmth, and the soft, sure pressure of his lips on my lips, the wet slide of his tongue on my tongue. I closed my eyes and surprised myself with a girlish moan. I rarely moaned, and certainly not girlishly.
He smelled good, too. Like cloves and manliness. Unwittingly, I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him to me, wanting to prolong the kiss. When Jon kissed me, it didn’t feel like this. When Jon kissed me, I felt a surprising amount of nothingness. Right now, I felt a surprising amount of everything-ness.
Jay was alive in a way I’d never experienced before.
Wait a second, Jon!
In a rush, I pushed away from Jay and wiped my hand across my mouth as though that might erase the amazing kiss we’d just shared. As though it might eradicate the guilt that started to niggle at me.