I can’t stop the tears that fall. I don’t even try. I’m finally in the arms of the man I was meant for all along. I’m where I belong…where I’ve always belonged.
“Go on back to our room, I’ll check on you when I’m done,” Zander tells me and I don’t want to leave him alone to face this vote. I want to be here for him.
“But…,”
“I’m proud of you Hellcat, don’t worry. I’ll do what I need to do and then I’ll come to you.”
I try to give him a smile and turn to leave. I’m kind of ashamed of the mess I’ve caused him. He deserves better.
“Hellcat? My woman doesn’t look down. Remember?” I stiffen my back and smile. He’s proud of me. I’m his.
“I won’t forget,” and I’m talking about more than just looking down.
“That’s my girl.”
“Just get your shit done, Zander, and quit busting my ass.”
Chapter 46
Crusher
It’s been a month. Dani and I have been in Tennessee with Diesel’s crew and he’s urging me to stay on, as his second in command. I’m pretty sure I’m going to. I love Drag and the boys, but honestly I need a fucking change. My woman fits in here. She’s happy. The other old ladies have welcomed her completely. There’s only one dark spot. Dani hasn’t given herself to me. She’s healed now. Still has some problems and pain, but for the most part she’s healed. I’ve done everything, but right out ask. I’ve tried to be respectful, but motherfucker my balls are going blue here.
She’s bent over our bed, making it and smoothing out wrinkles. She’s got on some cute little hot-ass shorts and a red t-shirt that says badass bitch on it. My eyes are glued to the way the fringe on her shorts plays and caresses the mound of her ass cheek, almost letting me see the curve and my patience snaps.
“Are you ever going to let me fuck you again?”
She straightens slowly and turns to me. Her hair has grown back out some, it’s now almost to the top of her neck. The bruises have left her face and there’s nothing but one very small scar under her chin. She still wears that damn dark red lip stick that instantly makes my cock hard. Under the thin strap of her top you can see her new tattoo. She thought the scar where she tried to take her own life was ugly. I thought it was beautiful. I had her get a tattoo over it and she agreed, she even allowed me to pick what I wanted. I think she thought I would choose my name. Don’t get me wrong, I fully intend too. Still, I wanted the one word that summed up what that scar was all about. So in flowing letters covered in barb wire and roses the word Courage brands my woman. That’s my woman. That’s my woman to a fucking T…
“Excuse me?”
“I didn’t stutter Hellcat, I asked if you’re ever going to let me fuck you again.”
“Zander, I’ve been…I mean… You want to have sex?” She asks finally and Jesus what kind of question is that to ask a man?
“Are you fucking kidding me? Junior is slowly dying and withering away, Hellcat. I’m dying to get back inside you.”
“I’m scarred up pretty bad, Zander.”
“You’re fucking gorgeous.”
“I…Shit, Zander you might not…I mean, I might not…”
“Strip, Dani.”
“Zander…”
I walk to her then. She’s nervous. Motherfucker! How could I have been so stupid? I turn her so her back is to me and then pull her shirt over her head. I don’t give her time to question anything. I unlatch her bra and throw it on the ground with her shirt. I pull her back against me. My arm sliding across her warm breasts, as I kiss the side of her neck.
“Zander…I’m scared.”
“I got you,” I answer, sliding my other hand around to undo her shorts.
“I’m lost,” she says. “I can’t even find myself,” but even as she says it her lips are turning to mine, and her hand comes up to pull my head down to her.
I don’t let her pull me in until my eyes find hers.
“Then hold on Hellcat, because I got you and I’m not letting you go. Believe in that,” I tell her.
I see a smile slide onto her lips and that’s when I claim them. I drink in her taste like the man I am. A man who has been starving for over a fucking month for his woman. I push her shorts and underwear down to her knees, before I even break the kiss.
“This is going to go fast, Hellcat,” I tell her and I’m mourning it. It’s her first time making love since the attack. A better man would be slow and soft with her. He would make her see how fucking beautiful she is. I promise I’ll give her that soon, I just think it’s beyond me at this point.
“Take me…take me just like this…”
Now, I’m not a foolish man that would ever turn down a plea like that, but something in her tone makes me stop and realize I was worried about going too fast for a reason. I can’t take her like this. I need her to look in my eyes when I love her. I need her to see the truth, that to me she is the most beautiful person on the face of the Earth.
For that reason and that reason alone, I pull back.
“Step out of your clothes Hellcat and get on the bed,” I order.