When the fuck did Freak start running Zander’s information requests? Was it after my big mouth gave Zander details? Or hell, even before that? How long of a head start do I have on Michael?
I spent last night in a small mom and pop motel three counties over. I knew if I stayed anywhere in London, or even in Skull’s territory that Zander would find me. I can’t handle that—not right now. I need some time. Zander is so convinced he can handle Michael, maybe he can? I don’t know. Maybe I am short changing my man. What I do know is that I have seen up close and personal what happens when Michael is unhappy. If anything happened to Zander, Nicole, Ray or Paul, I wouldn’t be able to go on. The risk is too great. I have to protect them. I need to contact Ray, because I’m going to need new papers sent to me. I’ll have to strike out on my own. There will be no safety net and I’ll be on my own this time. Nicole has a life. I’m not sure how I’ll cope not being a part of her life. I’ll miss the birth of her baby. I’ll miss so much. The thought hurts me, but I tap it down. My life has never been about getting what I want. I shouldn’t have allowed myself to forget that.
My decision made, I pick up the phone and dial.
“Hey kitten,” Ray’s voice almost makes me smile.
“Hey Ray, I umm…would it be possible for you to get me some new papers.”
My question is greeted with a moment of silence and it’s thick. He knows there would be only one reason I’m asking.
“Is this phone secure?”
“Yeah I picked up a burner.”
His sigh is loud and I can’t stop the tear that falls. It was a call both of us hoped I would never have to make.
“How’d he find out, honey?”
“Zander thought he’d get revenge on what was done to me,” I said lamely.
“Idiot,” Ray groans.
I swallow, not really liking that. “He loves me,” I defend lamely.
“He’s trying to get you killed,” Ray growls.
“He doesn’t know Michael. He thought he was protecting me.”
The silence stretches again.
“You love him.”
“I love him,” I answer honestly. “I love him more than anything in the world. Enough that I have to protect him, Ray. I can’t let Michael touch him.”
“Do you want to see if he’s right? Maybe he can handle Michael? He has fighting power behind him at least.”
I think it over. I have all the faith in the world in Zander. Even though he lied to me, after I got over my initial panic, I understood. He wants to make life better for me, he wants to protect me and take away the shadows. He wants to save me. I get it. What I have with Zander is the first real adult relationship I’ve ever had. At the same time, I don’t think Zander understands who he is dealing with.
“I may try to stay. I want to be in Nic’s wedding and I’d love to see her baby.”
“Yeah, I can’t believe she’s knocked up.”
“So sweet, Ray,” I tell him sarcastically.
“Paul says that all the time, especially when he’s got his lips wrapped around…”
“Spare me please,” I laugh. “Can you get me the papers? I need to be able to leave quickly, just in case. You still have the bank account info, right?”
“Yeah I got it, Kitten. I’ll have them made up today and overnight them to the safe address you gave me when you first moved.”
“Thanks Ray-Ray, as always I owe you more than I could ever repay you.”
“Anything for you. Take care of you and always check in. It’s our deal.”
“It’s our deal,” I tell him, hanging up.
I stare at my phone for a little bit, before I start packing up. It’s early, like really early, four a.m. to be exact, but I knew I needed to call Ray in Texas, because it would be three there and he’d just be getting in from work. I have Nic’s car. She gave it to me to use. Still, I use my old clunker for the most part. Nic’s car reminds me too much of my old life. I left it in the parking lot at the Club. I need to go back and collect it and check on Nicole and get ready for that damn fitting we have this evening.
*