“Now, Dani. Don’t make me come to you, get your uptight, high maintenance, drama filled ass over here, now.” She doesn’t move. I stare her down. “Now.”
She frowns, but it’s more with sadness and confusion than anger. With a broken, dejected noise she walks towards me. When she gets close enough, I reach out and grab her hand and pull her down on top of me. I slide my hands up under the t-shirt, my dick instantly hardening at the feel of her soft skin, so heated to my touch. I pull her until our faces are mere inches apart.
“Quit trying to give me away, Dani. I’m not going anywhere. I’m yours.”
“You deserve someone better…”
I sigh and hold her tight and roll over, bracing my weight. She’s now on the bottom and I’m on top of her. “You do realize there’s a very good chance you could be pregnant?”
“Zander…”
“I mean it, we’ve been fucking nonstop and I haven’t used protection since that first time. Unless you’re on the pill?”
“I’m not, but…”
“So it’s entirely possible.”
“No…I can’t have children, Zander.”
The words are whispered like a dirty secret and that haunted look I see in her eyes grabs me. I’ve seen it before, but it’s never been more blatant than it is right now. I lean down to kiss her forehead, wishing only to comfort her.
“Doctors have been wrong before, Hellcat.”
“Not this time,” she whispers avoiding my eyes.
“Nonsense, you just didn’t have the right man before, we’ll prove the doctors…”
“You can’t fix what’s not there anymore, Zander.”
“What are you saying?”
“Have you noticed that we’ve had sex almost every night and you never had to worry about me having periods or anything?” She says looking at the wall, and still not at me. Her voice sounds…dead.
“That’s just another reason we should…”
“You still don’t understand,” she whispers and this time her eyes turn and seek mine and the look of pure agony in them rips me wide open. A part of me wishes she would look away again, the pain is that intense. She pulls away so she can roll to her back. I turn on my side so I can see her, connect with her. I want her to know she’s not alone. Her hand has a fine tremble in it as she reaches her stomach. It moves across her womb in a slow, stumbling movement. “I forgot. It was just once. I hadn’t slept and I was so tired…”
“Hellcat, you don’t have to tell me this,” I tell her, because her voice is getting so weak, so lost. My breath stops in my throat. She doesn’t hear me. I can tell. Her eyes are focused on the ceiling and she’s lost in thought. I don’t know what’s coming, but I know it’s bad. I place my hand over hers, hoping she absorbs some of my heat, that maybe I can reach her, and pull her out of whatever hell she’s fallen into.
“I was sick. It’s not an excuse, but I had a high fever and the salad Michael allowed me to eat wouldn’t stay down. I was so weak. I was cramping, but I thought…I thought it was because I hadn’t ate anything, except the salad. I only meant to lie on the floor for a little bit. Just long enough to rest. I was so dizzy. When I woke up, there was blood. There was so much more than there should have been…I must have slept. It was dark outside. Michael would be home any minute and I had to clean it up. He didn’t like…nothing could be dirty. I cleaned. It was clean, I swear. It was, it sparkled, just like he always wanted.”
“I’m sure it was. You did good, Hellcat,” I tell her, because fuck I don’t have any other words. I don’t know what to say.
“No, I forgot…”
“What did you forget?” I ask, afraid to know.
“I left the bloody cleaning cloth in the trash. I knew better. There were protocols, rules I needed to follow. I was so tired, Zander…so tired.”
“I know sweetheart, I know. Tell me what happened next, Dani.”
She turns to me then and she’s looking at me like I should know what happened. I think I do, but I need to hear it from her lips. I need to hear her hell and then I need to spend the rest of my life, dragging her far away from it.
“Michael said if I couldn’t remember to clean up after myself, he’d fix it so I’d never have to worry about it again,” she says, her hand gripping her stomach so tight under my hand, I get afraid she is going to hurt herself. I move down to kiss her hand slowly, so not to startle her. I pull her fingers from her stomach.”
Fuck, no.
“What did he do, Dani?”
“He cut…he…there was a knife…he was so mad. I should have known better. I was stupid. So stupid,” she whispers crying. The tears are silent, there are no loud sobs. I think if there was, I could handle them better. No, these are just long silent tear drops falling from her eyes and her eyes are full of grief.