“Hey Hellcat, I didn’t say she wouldn’t. She’s in surgery. That’s about all I know right now.”
“I need to go be with her,” she says and there are tears in her eyes, but somehow she keeps them from falling. I don’t know why, because I don’t like women crying, but the fact that she is trying to hide her tears, hurts me.
“Hellcat, I’m not sure of everything that’s going on, but I’ve heard things…”
“But…”
“Sweetheart, I don’t think Dragon would want you there right now,” I say honestly.
Her face has been pale as a ghost and it still is, but I can see the hint of color that enters her cheeks at my words. I hate it, this can’t be a shock to her. Right?
“I thought…I was…it doesn’t matter.”
We sit there in silence for a little while longer. It’s not awkward, but it is strained. I feel like I should be finding words to make her feel better. Hell, other than sticking my dick in a woman, I’ve not had many dealings with them. Unless you count Melly, but then again, Melly was special.
“Zander, will you go sit with them…and find out about Nicole for me? Please?”
“Everyone calls me Crusher or Alex,” I respond, watching those big dark eyes of hers.
“I’m not them. I like Zander, it suits you.”
“What’s a Zander look like?”
“Like someone who does what a friend asks him to, when she can’t do it on her own.”
The girl is determined, you have to give her that. I stare at her for a few more minutes. She doesn’t dodge my eyes, but I notice the longer I stare at her, the tighter she grips the bedsheet. It wouldn’t surprise me if it rips any moment.
“She has plenty of company, Hellcat,” I answer, thinking she was the one who was all alone here.
“Nic is all I have in the world besides Ray. I want…I need to know she’s okay.”
“Are we friends, Hellcat?” I ask. I get up to head to the surgery waiting room.
“Time will tell I guess. I’m not exactly bosom buddy material these days,” she answers holding her head down. She looks kind of defeated and I hate it.
“I don’t know Hellcat, I kind of like your bosom.”
She doesn’t laugh, which is what I wanted, but she kind of half smiles before lying back against her pillow. She’s worn out. I leave without any further words and close the door quietly behind me.
Chapter 7
Dani
The Black Plague.
Did you know another name for the Black Plague is death? I feel about as welcomed as that, so it fits. I understand it—I do. I don’t really like myself right now. I add it up as just another mistake in a long line of them. Everyone has given me the cold shoulder, and if looks could kill, then Dragon and Bull’s death glare would definitely have done me in.
I’ve gone and seen Nicole, but she hasn’t regained consciousness. She developed an infection. When I first came through and the nurse told me Nic was shot too…it felt as if my world was ending. All I ever wanted was to protect Nicole and I’m the reason she’s clinging to life.
I’m supposed to be getting out of the hospital today. Crusher says I need to come home to the club. The club isn’t home—especially with everyone hating me. I don’t want to leave Nicole either, I’d rather stay at the hospital until I know she’s going to be okay. I’ve said some prayers for her but it’s been well established that God doesn’t answer my prayers.
I’m sitting on my hospital bed, wearing the bloody jeans and a hospital scrub shirt the nurse gave me. The jeans have been cut up on one side, but they’re all I have. One of the nurses offered pants too, but I declined. I’m just thankful they didn’t cut the pants off of me for some reason. I don’t want charity if I can get away from it. I’m used to having no one looking out for me. It’s less risky, and better not to depend on people.
Still today, I’m feeling…lonely. I’m feeling…isolated. Part of it is the way the club is treating me, part of it is fear over Nic and still some is…being tired. Deep inside I’m disappointed I didn’t die. It would have been easier and better for everyone if it was me fighting for my life instead of Nicole. She has everything to live for. Me? Hell, I wouldn’t fight for life…not even a little bit.
“Those look like deep thoughts, hummingbird.”
My body jerks as I look up to see Beast standing there and I instantly want to scream for help. I don’t trust him, he sent Tiny to me… he…
“Stop the looks, I had nothing to do with Tiny. When I woke up you were sleeping I went to find us breakfast, when I came back you were gone. I’d hoped that meant you felt like you could tackle things now. I sure as hell didn’t expect you to go off with Tiny—never did like that asshole.”
I’m not sure I believe him, but his words do have a ring of truth in them. Then again, what have I ever known about a man being truthful? There’s also the fact he’s holding a vase full of yellow daises. The flowers are big, but in his large hands they look small and awkward.