His gut clenched. “I won’t live here with her.”
Rylan hurled Connor’s own words back at him. “Then go. There are no chains keeping you here, remember? You don’t want to be our leader? Well, fine, brother. Maybe I don’t want to follow someone who makes impetuous decisions without consulting the rest of the group. Someone who throws an innocent woman to the mercy of this goddamn wasteland just because she was scared to tell you about her past. I wanted you to lead, not terrorize, and if you took even a second to think about it, you’d understand why she hid the truth from you.”
Connor had never heard his friend sound so impassioned. Or so disgusted. “I gave her a choice,” he mumbled.
Rylan looked startled. “What?”
“I told her she could stay if she led me to Dominik. She refused.”
There was a beat.
Then an incredulous hiss.
“Jesus Christ, Con! What kind of coldhearted move was that? Did you think she’d happily lead you to her brother so you could kill him?” Rylan threw his hands up before Connor could answer. “You know what? I can’t even look at you right now. You’d better get your head on straight, Connor, because we’re going to bring that woman back whether you like it or not. Because she’s one of us. So you can either be here when we get back, or you can be gone.” Rylan squared his shoulders. “I don’t give a shit either way.”
“Are you sure Tamara is in Foxworth?” Hudson asked as she accepted the coffee mug Jamie held out to her.
They were sitting at the counter in Lennox’s kitchen, going over Hudson’s plans as waves of humidity rolled in through the open windows. The sky was overcast, hinting at a downpour, but as much as Hudson welcomed some rain to temper the heat they’d been dogged by, the dark clouds were simply a reminder that summer wouldn’t last forever. It was already August, and she wanted to have a solid plan and a place to live before autumn came and temperatures dropped.
“That’s where she said she was headed.” Lennox took a quick sip of coffee, then raked a hand through his messy hair. “But if you want to catch up with her, you’ll have to leave soon. Tam wasn’t planning on staying long. She mentioned something about a trip to East Colony.”
A burst of excitement went off inside her. East Colony. If Hudson hurried, she could track Tamara down and convince the woman to take her with her. A whole new colony. An entire ocean separating her from Knox.
And Connor.
Pain shot straight to her heart at the thought of never seeing him again. When she’d left the Enforcer compound, she hadn’t imagined she would fall in love with someone, and yet she’d fallen so hard and fast for Connor that she couldn’t remember a time when she hadn’t loved him.
She loved the bastard even now. Even after what he’d done, even though he’d proved to be as ruthless as she’d suspected him to be from the moment they’d met. She loved his strength and arrogance, his gruff voice and rough caresses. She cherished those rare moments of ease and laughter, when he dropped his guard and made himself vulnerable to her. She loved every fucking thing about him, the good and the bad and the ruthless.
But she’d made her choice, and she couldn’t go back on it now, because no matter what her brother had done, she refused to have his death on her conscience. She and Dominik had shared a womb. They’d spent every waking hour of their childhood together. She would never be able to live with herself if she led Connor and his loaded rifle to her brother’s doorstep.
“I still think you should stay here,” Jamie insisted, as she’d been insisting all morning.
And risk running into Connor? No way. Hudson knew the men would wind up here sooner or later, and her stomach roiled at the thought of facing Connor after she’d offered him her love – her heart – and he’d crushed it into dust between his fingers.
“I can’t,” she said, wincing at the audible crack in her voice.
Lennox cursed softly. “What the hell did that bastard do to you, love?”
“Nothing.” Sorrow curled around her throat. “It was my fault. I lied to him, and he reacted the way anyone would have reacted.”
But had he? Would Rylan have thrown her out? Would Lennox? She wasn’t sure, but she also wasn’t about to share the sordid details with Lennox and find out. Her only course of action was the initial one she’d set months ago – to get as far from West Colony as possible. She simply had to treat everything that had happened in between like a tiny hiccup.
Meeting Connor… loving Connor… it was all just a fucking hiccup.
“I don’t like the idea of you going to Foxworth alone,” Lennox admitted. “You’ve never met Reese before. She’s suspicious of strangers.”