She was starting to understand this world now. The idea of living in the moment and taking what you wanted. Her whole life she’d done what her father had expected of her. She’d followed his rules. Dominik’s rules. The GC’s rules.
But there were no rules here, and she needed to remember that. She needed to forget about the world she’d lived in before and start living in the world she was in now.
She needed to start taking.
Hudson wasn’t surprised when Connor ordered her to ride in the Jeep with Rylan instead of taking her on the bike, and a part of her was grateful not to be plastered to his body right now. It was hard to think when Connor was around. Hard to block out her attraction to him and just breathe.
Luckily, Rylan didn’t push her to make conversation, at least not right away. They’d been driving for more than an hour before he finally glanced over with a teasing smile.
“What’s the matter, gorgeous? Someone who came as hard as you did tonight shouldn’t look so troubled.”
She blushed, but her embarrassment was overshadowed by the urgency she was still feeling, that overpowering need to take. Or rather, to learn how to take.
“C’mon. Tell me what’s wrong,” he urged.
She let out a sigh. “I’m not sure I know how to live in the moment,” she confessed.
The response seemed to intrigue him. “Why do you say that?”
Hudson paused, carefully considering how much information to reveal. “I like the people I’ve met since I left my other group. I like you.” She shifted awkwardly. “But I don’t fully grasp the whole live-in-the-moment mentality. I…”
Before she could second-guess herself, she slid closer and touched the hand he was resting on the gearshift. She dragged her palm over his knuckles, and she knew from the way his breath hitched that her touch had affected him.
Hudson drew a deep breath, ignoring the nervous sensation in her stomach. “I want you to teach me.”
Rylan’s voice thickened. “Teach you what?”
“How to let go. How to stop fighting and start feeling. How to take pleasure.”
Emboldened by her own words, she leaned in and pressed her lips to his neck. When he groaned softly, she took it as a promising sign and became even bolder, sliding her hand to his crotch and cupping him over his jeans.
“Teach me,” she whispered.
With a sigh, Rylan covered her hand with his, stilling her movements. “If that’s what you really want, I’d be happy to help you.” He gently removed her hand. “But I’m not the person you need to ask.”
She stiffened. “What the hell does that mean?”
“It means it’s Connor’s say, not mine.”
Disbelief dripped from her tone. “Are you telling me he controls your cock? That you can’t sleep with a woman unless he gives you permission?”
“Sometimes. It all depends on whether or not he’s staked a claim.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake. She couldn’t believe the sheer audacity of that statement.
She blew out an aggravated breath. “I am not a piece of land that he can claim.”
“No, but like it or not, you belong to him. He made the decision to take you in, and now he gets to decide what to do with you. Or who can touch you.”
“Bullshit.” She angrily raked her fingers through her hair. “I don’t belong to him.”
“We all belong to him,” Rylan said simply. Then he turned his gaze back to the road. “The sooner you accept that, the better off you’ll be.”
7
Connor never went to bed when there was still work to be done. Didn’t matter that it was two in the morning when they got back to base – the supplies from the raid couldn’t stay in the Jeep all night, which meant that someone needed to unload them.
But just because he happened to be an anal bastard didn’t mean he expected the same from his men.
“Get out of here,” he barked when he saw their weary faces. “I’ve got this.”
Xander, Kade? and Pike nodded in relief and strode off toward their respective cabins or, in Pike’s case, the run-down stables he’d claimed as his living quarters. Hudson and Rylan lingered, the former standing near the Jeep with a frown, the latter already reaching in the back to grab a crate of canned goods.
“Go to sleep, Hudson,” Connor muttered. “It’s late.”
“Are you sure you don’t need any help?”
“We’re good.”
Her tone sharpened. “Of course. Because you don’t need anything from me, right? You’ve got other people at your disposal to take care of your needs.”
She marched off before he could answer, summoning a chuckle from Rylan.
“She’s pissed at you.”
Connor shrugged. “She can be as pissed as she wants. Doesn’t bother me.”