“That’s why you should think twice about the circus.”
“I told I’m not going to rethink it,” I say. “Tell me how to get to the circus.”
“I’m sorry, Alice,” it says. “I want to protect you from the circus, so I will not lead you to it.”
“You know what? I’ll find it myself.” I turn around and walk ahead.
Something inside me isn't right. I know it.
Since I put on the dress I’ve felt changed. I also feel a bit stubborn and childish in the way I am acting.
It’s that haze that surrounds my mind. Those distant memories that seem to crawl toward me, so slowly.
I wonder if I am suppressing certain memories and don’t really want to remember. Why, Alice? What happened to you in the past?
When I turn back to look at Tiger Lily, she is sleeping, as if she hadn’t been talking to me.
I decide I’ll message the Hatter back:
I can’t find the circus. You must have a clue how I should find it.
He responds:
I wouldn’t have needed your help if I did.
I write:
What’s so important in the circus?
He responds:
You will know when you get there. It concerns you as it concerns me. You have less than 10 hours, and the circus might be closing soon. I need you to find it while it’s full of people, or otherwise it will mean nothing to me. I’d hurry if I were you.
Chapter 48
Wonderland
Time remaining: 9 hours, 54 minutes
It occurs to me to call the Pillar, but I get no signal to the real world. However this works in Wonderland, I have no idea. I realize I’m as confused as the March Hare when he told me about the doorways.
And, of course, it occurs to me that I’m just in my own escapist La La land of my mind, evading that ultimate truth: that I had a bus accident and that I’m nothing but a crippled girl inside an asylum, killing time by making up stories.
In truth, there’s not much sense in anything I am doing—or have done since I met the Pillar.
In truth, I could be just insane, and anyone who is listening to my rambling is only a victim of my bothered mind.
In truth, I could just accept all the madness around me, and laugh at it, like a morning cartoon on a TV screen—you get a few laughs, eat your cereal, and just totally forget about it.
I can just admit my madness and be fine with it. Lie back as the world spins like a cuckoo around my head.
But what always bothers me about my madness is that I know about it. I question it. I try to analyze it. Aren’t mad people supposed to not know about themselves being mad?
My thoughts are interrupted by something all of a sudden. Something that connects the dots somehow. At least it moves things forward, just like our everyday lives when we don’t have an idea of what’s going on but hang on to the little clues we have for today.
What I see in front of me is the Snail Mound, the one the Hatter wanted me to find, and the March Hare warned me of.
Chapter 49
Meeting Hall, Buckingham Palace, London
Squeezed in a chair, among the big crowd in the hall, was Dr. Tom Truckle.
He had managed to fool the guards, pretending he was the person whom the invitation was originally for. It wasn’t hard. He wore his best tuxedo and rented an expensive Bentley, and made Ogier pretend he was his private chauffeur.
Once he arrived at the palace, he pompously flashed his invitation and trotted inside.
He was led through dimly lit corridors, one after the other, until he reached a secret meeting hall somewhere inside the palace.
Then he was shown his seat without anyone realizing what an impostor he was.
In the dimmed hall, he couldn’t see the many important men and women from all over the world who sat beside him. Was he really sitting among those people?
The stage itself was bright, awaiting the Queen’s arrival. Dr. Tom Truckle waited with anticipation to know what the heck this Event was about.
Chapter 50
Wonderland
Time remaining: 9 hours, 44 minutes
Stunned, I try to think it over. So the Hatter thought the Snail Mound was in the Garden of Cosmic Speculation in the real world, but it’s actually in Wonderland?
It seems plausible to me, since the Hatter seems ignorant of how to get to the circus.
Let’s rethink this, Alice. You’re here, mainly to catch a rabbit before it explodes, but to do that you have to play the Hatter’s game by finding the circus. That’s all you know about this. STOP analyzing and go find the circus.
I run barefoot toward the Snail Mound. It’s a spiral mountain, like inverted cones with green roads upward until you reach its tip. It reminds me of a picture I once saw of Babylon, but I’m not sure if the two images are related.
I climb and climb in wide circles, wondering what I’ll find at the top. Now it reminds me of Jack and the Beanstalk.