“Finally!” Number 7 blew out a sigh. “Should we make the call now?”
“I think so.” Number 9 lowered his binoculars and pulled out his cell phone. He dialed the number and said, “The girl is in the hall, closer to the circus. Waiting for further instructions.”
Number 7 watched him listen to the person on the other line then hang up. “So?” he asked.
“The Man with the Hat says our job is done. We should be going,” Number 9 said. “He’ll take it from here.”
“Boy, if this girl only knew what she was up to.”
Chapter 40
Alice’s Dream
I am in the rabbit hole, but my mind isn’t there with me.
I am dreaming.
Remembering, maybe?
Jack is sitting opposite me at the table in the Fat Duck restaurant. I just told him he was a figment of his own imagination.
How I hate myself for doing this, now that I see how shocked he is.
“What are you talking about, Alice?” He tries to muster a smile. “No one’s a figment of their own imagination.”
I hold back the tears. His face goes pale, and I think he’s going to throw up. The truth seems to crawl on him slowly, but he is resisting believing it.
“You are, Jack.” I hold back the tears. “Trust me, you’re the best thing that happened to me in this world, but I can’t lie to you any longer.”
“Lie to me about what?” He loosens his necktie, hardly breathing.
“I killed you.”
“Don’t be silly.”
“In the bus accident, don’t you remember?”
“Am I supposed to remember how I died after I supposedly died?” He lets out a painful chuckle.
“You’ve got a point,” I say. “It’s complicated. But your name isn’t even Jack. It’s Adam J. Dixon.”
This seems to throw him off the most. His name makes him realize he shouldn’t be here, that he should step over to the other side of this life.
He slumps deeper into his chair, defeated, pale like the dead. “I remember,” he murmurs.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m really sorry. But if I don’t let you go, you will not have a good afterlife. You don’t have to stay in this world and be my guardian.”
“Why, Alice?” His moist eyes look into mine. “Why did you do it?”
“You mean the killing?”
He nods.
“I don’t remember.” I can’t stop the tears anymore.
“You said I had to die. I seem to remember glimpses of it now,” Jack says. “You said all of us on the bus had to die! Why?”
No words escape my throat. I am both crying and ashamed. I’m Alice’s frustration, mutinied by misery, repeated over and over again.
And the irony is that I don’t even know why. “It doesn’t matter, Jack. You need to let go.”
“I loved you, Alice,” he says. “I would have died for you.”
I can’t comment on this. He already died for me—in a way. Who gives away a love like that? I mean, the boy died and died again for me. He loves me unconditionally, if not borderline silly. He almost thinks about nothing but me.
“Let me stay,” he begs. “I don’t want to go. I still want to make sure you’re going to be okay.”
“That’s not fair, Jack. You can’t stay because of me.”
“I think I also want to stay to protect you from something.” He looks more confused than ever. “I can’t remember what it is, though.”
“You’re dead, Jack. I killed you once, and I have to kill you twice,” I say with all the bluntness I can muster. It hurts so deep inside I feel like I’m going to tear apart, blood will spatter out of my veins, and my brains will explode like a watermelon on crack.
“Don’t do it, Alice.” He reaches for my hand. I pull away. I hate my hand, and I hate myself. “This Pillar... he isn’t what you...”
I close my eyes, wishing he’d disappear when I open them again. Goodbye, Jack. I hardly remember you, but I know deep inside, somewhere between the layers of my heart and soul, somewhere in the middle of my brain, that I love you more than anything in the world.
But I have to let you go, because you’re probably not there in the first place.
Chapter 41
The Garden of Cosmic Speculation, Dumfries, Scotland
Time remaining: 12 hours, 07 minutes
My eyes flip open to a terrible ache in my body. My back is strangely arching upward. I feel like I have landed on a bed with a thick mattress.
I look up, but there is nothing to see. I wonder if the hole has been closed or if it’s so far away I can’t even glimpse it.
It’s all pitch black around me, as if I am buried in a grave.
Where am I?
Well, I know I am underground, but where?
One sentence comes to my mind: Alice’s Adventures Underground.
When I try to move, my body aches harder, but it’s not that bad. I don't think I broke any bones.
The place smells of dirt, and the rabbit I was chasing is absent. I should at least hear its voice if it is still here. Could something have happened to it? I remember holding it in my arms before I fell. If I am not hurt then the rabbit should be safe, too.