It was impossible to think about. She was all the family I had. She was the one constant in my life, and without her I would be lost.
We curled up on the couch, my head on her shoulder, taking relief in knowing she was alive—safe. She tucked a bunny-soft throw around me, probably thinking the same thing about me.
I was alive—safe.
But Sierra’s parents, they were the ones whose world was just swept out from under them. Their little girl was gone—forever. No more Christmas mornings. No more birthday celebrations. No more dreams for their daughter.
Because I had such a small and close-knit family, I had been sheltered from death. It hit me hard, but it wasn’t just my feelings I was dealing with, which made it that much tougher. Chase’s pain weighed down inside me. And there was nothing I could do about it.
Keeping me close and whispering soft words of comfort, Mom listened as I babbled senselessly. I didn’t really know what was coming out of my mouth, but I believed she thought I was in shock. And I probably was. But the nonsense about demons, that was all true.
Having run myself dry, I stared into the crackling fire, listening to the sounds of wood popping. There was a gaping hole inside me, and I knew that Chase was in agony. His pain was a viable dark cloud that dangled over me. Devin and Travis had gone with him to bring Sierra to her parents.
Chase had been split in two about leaving me, but I had pushed him, knowing that he felt he owed it to Sierra. She deserved to be with her family, and they deserved the opportunity to say their goodbyes to her. They deserved to know the truth about her death. Parting from Chase had been difficult, especially when I wanted to wrap my arms around him and offer whatever solace I could give. Everything was a little bit easier together.
It was after midnight when my doorbell rang, and because there were no tingles present, I knew it wasn’t Chase on the other side of the door. Mom swiped a piece of hair off my cheek before getting up to see who was at the door. Disinterested, I continued to watch the orangey flames flicker out.
“Oh, Lexi, dear,” I heard Mom say.
Turning my head toward the entryway, I saw Mom bundle Lexi in a motherly hug. For the first time since I’d met Lexi, she looked a hot mess. Her blonde hair wasn’t styled, her mascara was running, her eyes were bloodshot, and I knew that Lexi needed my mom as much as I did. We needed each other.
Lexi’s gut-retching sobs tore open the wound inside me again, like someone had poured salt on it. Mom ushered her inside and tucked her on the couch beside me. Lexi took one look at me and slumped onto the black and white print cushions. We shared our grief, three weeping females leaning on each other for support.
Not long after, Mom dozed off from sheer exhaustion—tears do that, leave you bone tired and achy. So Lexi and I crept upstairs to my room. My muscles were cramped and stiff from being curled up on the couch for so long. I stretched out on my bed with my racing thoughts that just wouldn’t quiet. Nothing short of a tranquilizer would shut them up.
“I can’t believe this is real,” Lexi said in despair. “She’s gone.” Her eyes puffy and red, were ringed with black smudged makeup.
I sucked at consoling as I racked my brain for something reassuring to say, like she was in a better place, but none of us really knew if there was a spot for demon spawns in Heaven. So I just went with, “Me neither.” Lame. I know. I sighed. “We should try to get some sleep.”
Neither of us was up for talking. There just wasn’t much to say.
Lying on my hands, I tried to find a comfortable position. Chase, Lexi, and Travis, they were always watching out for me. Tonight I was going to watch over my best friend. I didn’t sleep at all, and Lexi was restless. She would occasionally cry out in her sleep. I held her hand, just to let her know she wasn’t alone.
Sometime in the wee hours of morning, I felt my mark spark to life.
Chase.
Leaning in my doorway, he looked tired with an enormous amount of guilt weighing on his shoulders. I ate up the sight of him. It had felt like days, not hours, since we had last seen each other. “How is she?” he asked, his voice gravelly.
“Sleeping now,” I whispered.
He nodded.
I tiptoed out of bed, careful not to wake Lexi, and went to him. Framing his face in my hands, I wanted, needed that human contact that told me he was real.
He closed his eyes and dropped his head back against the wall. “Angel.” The sound of my name and the sorrow that came with it broke my heart. In one quick breath, he had me in his arms and buried his face in my hair.
We stood enfolded in each other, not saying a word. Time went by before he moved and took a seat at the window bench, pulling me into his lap. “I can’t even begin to express how I feel.” His voice was just above a murmur. “On one hand, I’m filled with profound sadness. On the other, I can’t help but be relieved it wasn’t you.”