“You know things between Della and I didn’t really start off as a serious thing, even though I was really into her. She just didn’t seem ready for a solid relationship and truthfully I don’t know if I was either.” I heard him blow out a deep breath, like he was mentally preparing himself for what was to come next. It had to be bad, it certainly couldn’t be good. And I knew for sure whatever was to come next, I would never be prepared to hear either.
“We agreed not to see other people, but I messed that shit up. So I went out and did the worst thing possible, I found some random girl at the bar one night and we fucked out in the alley,” he finished quietly, the guilt apparent in his voice, but I really didn’t give a shit. The last thing he said just kept repeating over and over in my head, like a broken record. We fucked out in the alley. We fucked out in the alley.
I covered my mouth when a whimper tried to escape my mouth. Flattening myself against the wall, I shook my head repeatedly trying to erase what I had just heard, but even if that were possible, it still would have been true. And he just kept on going, breaking my heart apart even more.
“I felt like complete and utter shit after we were done, I don’t even remember the girl’s name. So I went out, found Della at some party she was at with that one douchebag I told you about, and told her that I wanted a serious relationship with her. I knew that was the main reason I felt like shit, the guilt was eating me alive at what I had just done. I know I should have told her, but I didn’t want to ruin such a good thing. Now I don’t know what the hell to do. I feel like I should tell her.”
“Was that the only time it happened, dude?” Nate asked, even though I could really care less about the reply. It happened once and that was enough in my book. He had destroyed everything.
“Yeah, but…” he paused and I heard him suck in a deep breath. Oh god, did I really need to hear this? “That chick showed up on my doorstep one day. I don’t know how the fuck she found where I lived, but apparently she wanted a repeat of that night.”
“Damn,” I heard Nate mutter and I couldn’t tell if it was because he felt bad for Justin or wished he was him.
“Nothing happened though. I told her to leave me the fuck alone and slammed the door in her face. I haven’t seen her since.”
Tears were streaming down my face at this point, as I collapsed onto the floor, feeling like our whole relationship had been one big lie. I knew exactly what night he was talking about, he had seemed to be acting weird, but I just shrugged it off as him being pissed about Nash.
And then he told me he wanted a real relationship with me. Really, he had probably just used that to take my mind off of his weird behavior that I had questioned. Then the girl showed up again and didn’t say anything then?
I heard Nate saying something back to him, right as I hiccupped loudly and suddenly the hallway light was turned on, blinding me. Justin’s face paled when he saw me, his mouth opening and closing a few times before he crouched down in front of me. “Princess, you weren’t supposed to hear that.”
“How would you have preferred me to hear it?” I asked, stammering through my tears. Tears that I hadn’t felt ever before in my life, even at my lowest, because these weren’t sad tears, they were angry tears. Angry for the time that I had wasted being with him, and for letting myself trust him so much, when I had known how he was before we got together.
He tried to grab my chin with shaking hands so I would look at him, but I slapped his hand away. “Don’t touch me,” I spit out, pushing myself to my feet and scrubbing at my eyes to try and stop the tears. “You will never touch me again. We are completely done.” I ran toward his bedroom, slamming the door shut behind me, and found clothes to slip on over the lingerie I had picked out for him, he was done getting a show from me. Forever.
I heard the door open quietly and I could feel his presence behind me, but there was no way I was going to turn around. It would destroy me even more. “Della, please wait,” he asked in a pleading tone, fisting his beanie so tightly in his hands that they were white.
He followed behind me closely as I scooped up the rest of my bags, begging and pleading the whole time, but all I did was tune him out. I really had heard more than enough from him tonight and I was done. I didn’t reply as I shoved past him where he was trying to block my way, the hurt flashing through those gray eyes as I rushed into the living room where Nate was still sitting, looking like he really wasn’t sure what to do with himself. I honestly felt a little bad for the guy.
“Can you please take me home?” I asked, my voice shaking with each word. I really needed to get myself in control, but I just couldn’t manage to do that.