It just seemed to help fill an empty void. I hadn’t felt the need to fill that need since I moved here, I think it had a lot to do with getting out of Connecticut, away from all of the memories that I wanted to keep buried.
I hadn’t realized we stopped, until Justin cleared his throat and I looked over to see his gray eyes trained on me intensely. At least they were on my face this time. “Well, thanks for the ride,” I mumbled before gripping the passenger handle, but it wouldn’t budge as I pushed. “I think I have you trapped finally,” Justin smirked. “It doesn’t open from the inside,” he quickly explained as I raised my eyebrows at him.
I huffed out a breath. “Okay, well will you go and open it then?” His brows disappeared under the black beanie he had on, his dark hair that was normally an unruly mess slightly peeking out, so I decided on a different approach. Taking a deep breath, I tried to keep all attitude out of my voice. “Justin, will you pretty please with sugar on top, open my door. Please,” I added on again.
“We-ll,” he dragged out, his face turning serious as he contemplated whether or not he should continue holding me hostage or not, tapping one long finger on his chin. “Maybe if you promise to be on top, I can-”
“Oh my god, do you ever stop with the bullshit that comes out of your mouth. Have you ever had a serious conversation in your life?” I screeched, smacking him in the chest with my hand. He grabbed onto it before I could pull away, lacing our fingers together while biting his lip ring. I could tell he was trying hard not to laugh at my freak out, and I appreciated it. For some reason, he knew how to get on my every nerve just by doing the smallest things.
“Della, I’m just not a serious guy, but if you gave me the chance we could actually have a real, adult conversation. If that’s what you really want,” he squeezed my hand lightly.
“Fine,” I huffed out “Let’s have a ‘conversation’ then.”
“Uh-uh, I think Sleeping Beauty needs to get inside for the night. How ‘bout you let me take you out Sunday and then we can talk?”
“I’m busy during the day on Sunday.”
“Fine, then how about Sunday night, does that work?”
“I guess.”
“Well, I’m glad you seem so excited about it then. Is it all right if I pick you up around seven?”
“Whatever, as long as you let me out of this damn car.”
“Excellent,” he replied, before jumping out of the car and running around to open my door. His wide smile was contagious and I couldn’t help but smile back at him as he deposited me at the front door, waiting to make sure I had made it safely inside.
I waved at him before I punched the up arrow on the elevator, and the last thing I saw before the doors shut, were those gray eyes staring back at me. I would give him one date, chances were it would probably only be one and after I didn’t give it up at the end of the night, he would finally be over me.
Chapter 11
“Della, baby, wake up. Wake up.” I startled awake when I felt someone shaking me, a scream caught in my throat as I scrubbed at my eyes and saw Grams staring back at me through the darkness in my room with a worried expression crinkling her face. It took me a minute to realize where I was, and I reminded myself that I had come over to spend Saturday night before church on Sunday.
“Are you okay, baby?” She reached out to smooth away the matted down hair on my forehead and I flinched at her touch. “I’m fine, Grams. I must have had a bad dream. I don’t even remember what it was about,” I lied.
“Well, you sure did give me a fright, I heard you screaming like a banshee from down the hall. You’re sure you are all right?”
“Yes Grams, thanks for checking on me though. I’m going to try to go back to sleep for a bit.” I rolled over onto my back when she quietly shut the door behind her and stared up at the stark white ceiling. I knew sleep would never come back to me tonight.
I hadn’t had a nightmare in awhile; at least one that had woke me up. When I was living with my mom, I got them often, but not once did she ever come in to check on me, and I knew she most likely heard me.
They were always the same. Chris and I were there, alone, and everything came back in flashes. I knew it was that night. That night that changed my whole life.
It had started out at a party that we had gone to together, and we had both been pretty wasted. Afterwards, we somehow made it back to his parent’s house that were out of town for the night. I remember his hands running up and down my sides, and my dress somehow finding its way onto the floor. I was coherent enough to know that I wasn’t ready yet, but that didn’t stop him. They always ended in that sterile white room if I didn’t wake up before then and that was the part I hated most.