I’m still not comfortable with the whole Sarah situation. We have a long road ahead of us trying to figure out a solution that will work for everyone, including Sarah. Brett promised me in the shower that he was hiring an attorney this morning to help push the divorce forward. I’m glad he brought it up because even though I feel confident in our relationship now, I don’t think I will ever be truly comfortable until the divorce is final. He also promised to tell me if, and when, he goes to see her. No more avoiding the topic.
“Okay, I’ll see you this afternoon,” I reply, but Brett stands staring at me expectantly. “What?” I ask when he doesn’t leave.
“You don’t have anything else to say to me?”
“I don’t know, do you have anything else to say to me?” I toss a little attitude his way, making him laugh.
“You’re going to make me pay for making you wait, aren’t you?”
“Pretty much,” I smile and he shakes his head.
“Fine. I’ll make up for two months’ worth of I love you’s, but then we are even.”
“Deal.”
“One more kiss, and I really need to go.” He leans over tucking my hair behind my ear. “I,” he kisses my lips, “love,” he moves to my neck, “you,” he finishes with a nip on my ear.
“I love you too,” I whisper as his hot breath sends chills down my body.
“Go back to sleep, Jess. I want you well rested tonight,” he shouts over his shoulder, closing my door behind him.
I’m exhausted. I really should go back to sleep, but it’s a lost cause. I have plans today, but first I need to tidy up the mess Brett and I made last night. Things got a little intense up against the wall. A few of the picture frames fell and I heard at least one of them break. Kara should be home soon, and the last thing I want to do is answer a million inappropriate questions from her. I also want to hit the mall to buy Brett a little surprise for tonight. I sling back the blankets and get ready for the day.
AROUND NOON, I hear a knock at the door. I pull back the curtain to see a man holding the biggest bouquet of white daisies I have ever seen. I yank open the door and all but snatch them from the delivery man.
Gorgeous,
I figured these would be a good first step. I’ve never even bought you flowers. I’m sorry for that too.
Last night was amazing. Thank you for waiting.
I love you.
Brett
P.S. Why are you awake and cleaning? I told you to get some sleep.
Even though I know he’s busy at work, I immediately dial his number.
“Detective Sharp,” he answers.
“Well hello, officer.”
“Hey babe. What’s up?”
“They’re beautiful. Seriously Brett, I love them.”
“Really? I was sure you were calling to give me hell about buying you something.”
“No, you’re allowed to buy me flowers any time you want. I’ll just pretend you handpicked them from your garden.”
“My garden, huh? Babe, you can pretend anything you would like. Whatever it takes.”
“Thank you.”
“You are very welcome. Now answer my question, why are you awake? We had a late night, and it’s your day off.”
“How did you know I was cleaning? Do you have cameras in my house?”
“Just the one over your bed,” he answers nonchalantly.
“What!” I scream into the phone.
“Jesus, I’m only kidding. No cameras. I just saw the mess this morning, but didn’t have time to clean it up. I knew you wouldn’t be able to let it sit.”
“Oh, well okay then.”
“Listen, I need to go, my phone is blowing up with blinking lights.”
“I love you, Brett.”
“I love you too. If flowers were all it took to get that out of you, I really might have to invest in a garden.” I giggle at his silly joke.
“I’ll see you tonight.”
“You couldn’t keep me away. Bye, babe.”
“Bye.” I hang up the phone knowing nothing would be able to erase this smile from my face.
Three hours later…
“WHY ARE you doing this?” I whisper with my knees pulled tight against my chest as tears stream down my face.
“Because I have to. Because it’s been four fucking years, and I can’t live like this anymore.”
“I’m sorry all of this happened, but you don’t have to live like that anymore. Things can change.” My words are meant to be encouraging, but I know they fall flat.
“Please, stop crying.”
“Why? So you don’t have to feel anything. If you’re really going to do this, you should feel it.”
“No, because I can’t watch anyone else cry over the shit-fest that is my life.”
“I’m not crying for you. What happened to you is sad, but it didn’t ruin your life. Altered, yes. But not ruined. So no, I’m not crying for you. I’m crying because this whole situation is so unfair. There isn’t a single winner.”
“That’s not true, Jesse. You and Brett won. You found each other.”
“That’s not fair.”
“It never is.”
Brett
“I’M SORRY Mrs. Kaplan, my hands are tied. I’ll let you know as soon as I hear something.”
My day has been shit and if last night didn’t end with Jesse in my arms, I’m not sure I could handle this. I’ve been slammed with cases all day. Nothing useful. It’s been one dead end after another. I feel like I’ve been banging my head against the wall for the last six hours. My phone rings yet again, breaking though my frustrations.