“No…” The air sputtered from my lungs.
“When I was nine, I got into trouble with one of my tutors. Darren heard my cries from down the hall.” The prince’s expression grew dark, and I realized Benny was right. Blayne didn’t hate Darren at all. “Instead of staying in his room, the little fool snuck in and tried to save me… He never was afraid of our father, even when he was beating him senseless.”
My stomach surged, and I slid to the floor, clutching my knees to my chest. My skin was clammy, and my hands were still shaking as I took Blayne’s proffered flask. I couldn’t stop picturing six-year-old Darren in a pool of his own blood, fists and feet and a bladed whip coming from the man he called “Father.” A little boy trying to save his brother.
Privilege. I accused Darren of a privilege the rest of us never had.
“Somehow he managed to pull a knife he had stolen from the kitchens while our father was choking him—”
A whimper escaped my lips, and I clutched shaky fingers to my mouth to let Blayne continue.
“Darren was overtaken in an instant, of course, and beaten within an inch of his life, but...” Blayne’s voice seized. “—He never stopped fighting. Later—when the healer had finished up with my brother and me—our father stopped by the infirmary. Told Darren he had finally done something right.” Blayne didn’t feign his disgust. “As second son Darren’s duty was to me. He had finally proven his role. Father sent him off to train with our head knight the next morning so he could start preparing for the School of Knighthood and become Commander of the Crown’s Army when I took the crown. Darren had impressed him.”
My pulse slammed against my lungs, and I forced myself to swallow. Two sips of some bitter liquid that tore at my throat like ice. I wiped my sweaty palms against my dress.
“After that day…” I couldn’t say it. “Did your father…?”
“Not with Darren.”
I opened my mouth and the crown prince just gave me a sardonic smile. “It takes much more to impress when you are his heir. Darren wasn’t always around. In any case I’m better for it now.”
I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t say anything. What did you say to your enemy? To the villain with the pitiable past? Everything Blayne had done, I couldn’t help wondering if Darren would have turned out the same, were he the heir instead.
“Darren will never tell you any of this.” The prince shut the chest with a thud. “I brought you here so you could see the truth for yourself. My brother pushes people away with his pride, and it doesn’t take much to see he is doing the same to you now. Whatever happened between the two of you, I need you to forgive him, Ryiah.”
“Why…” My voice caught and I tried again. “Why are you helping me? I-I know you want to make amends but—”
“Because he is my little brother. And as many mistakes as he has made, I want the best for him.” The prince’s gaze was bitter. “Even if that is you.”
****
I found Darren leaving the training grounds just as I arrived. Before the training grounds, I had checked his chamber, the indoor practice court, the kitchens, and finally the kennels. I should’ve realized he would seek solace in training. Even in the middle of his brother’s festivities. He and I were one and the same.
The scent of summer was thick in the air, fresh blossoms and cedar mixed in with the lingering trace of sweat and dirt from the barracks.
I stood anxiously, the warm breeze ruffling my dress.
“Darren.”
The non-heir looked up, dark bangs falling across his eyes. Something like regret registered for just a moment before he clenched his jaw and turned away.
“What do you want, Ryiah?”
I took a deep breath. “I’m reckless.”
His head jerked back as he regarded me in surprise. I could tell he hadn’t been expecting that.
I rambled on quickly, “I judge too fast. I don’t always think before I speak. I don’t like to hear that I might not win. I lash out when I’m angry. I’m far from perfect, and I know I never will be. I make mistakes just like the rest of them.”
With every confession I took a step closer, closing the distance between us. I waited until I was right in front of the prince, and then placed my hands on his chest, causing him to take another step back until his shoulders were lining the barrack’s wall.
“You aren’t one of my mistakes.”
A lump in the prince’s throat rose and fell.