California Girls

The changes to her body were hard enough, but dear God, Bernie was getting on her nerves.

It wasn’t just the meal service or the very ugly and tight support hose she’d dropped by. It was the email reminders of her next doctor’s appointment and the little notes like the one left today, and texts about whatever Bernie had just read in the pregnancy books and understandable interest that a nicer person would like but that Zennie was finding overwhelming and intrusive.

She reminded herself that Bernie was her best friend and of course she cared about the baby, but Zennie desperately needed a break. And a hug. And someone to listen to her whine. And the other kind of wine.

She ignored the inevitable tears that were a daily part of life now and started the car’s engine. All she had to do was drive home and then she would be fine. She was always happy to head to her own place and decompress from a long day in surgery, but suddenly she felt less excited about, well, everything.

It was just the note, she told herself. And the stupid food that was waiting for her, she thought with a sigh. Every dinner came with a healthy salad with dark green vegetables and lots of crunchy raw things and beans and a dressing that tasted like road tar. She was tired of plain white fish or plain chicken breasts and two servings of vegetables and unsweetened yogurt because she needed dairy but God forbid she have a little Brie and a hot fudge sundae.

“This sucks,” she admitted. She was only two months along and there were seven-plus months to go. She wasn’t going to make it. She would snap and go on a bender in Target, running down the food aisles, ripping open bags of cookies and spraying Reddi-wip directly into her mouth while begging someone to give her coffee with a shot of vodka in it.

The truth was, and she really hated to admit it, she’d been impulsive about the pregnancy and while she wasn’t sorry, she sure as hell wasn’t happy.

Her phone rang. She answered it without looking at the screen, then shuddered when she realized it was probably Bernie.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Zennie, it’s Clark.”

She blinked as the name sank in. “Clark, wow, that’s so strange. I was just thinking about you the other day. How are you? How are things?”

She heard the enthusiasm in her voice and was surprised when she realized she was happy to hear from him. He’d been a good guy and she had a feeling she might have been a little too judgy when they’d been going out.

“Things are good. I, ah...I’m calling because I still miss you. I know it’s over—you were clear enough on that—but I can’t seem to forget you and I wanted you to know.”

She stared out the window as she processed his words. He missed her? Instead of annoying her, the news was kind of nice to hear. In fact, if she dwelled on it for very long, she thought she might start to cry for possibly the third time that day.

“I know you were really clear on things,” he continued, “But I wondered if you might consider being friends.”

Friends? What did that mean? She’d never had a lot of guy friends—not as an adult. She wasn’t sure of the ground rules, then found herself thinking it didn’t matter. She wanted to see him.

“I take it that’s a no.” His voice was soft.

“It’s not. Sorry. You caught me by surprise. I think your offer is an interesting one, it’s just there’s something you should know first.”

“You’re seeing someone.”

“What? No. God no. I’m pregnant.”

She hadn’t meant to just blurt it out, but she had. She heard his sharp intake of air followed by his hurt tone as he said, “That was fast. Look, I won’t keep you any—”

“Wait. Don’t. It’s not what you think. It’s not anything you could imagine.”

“Because you didn’t hook up with some guy?”

“I didn’t hook up with anyone.” She quickly explained about Bernie and Hayes and the turkey baster.

“You’re having a baby for a friend? You’re going to be pregnant for nine months, then give the baby away?”

“That’s the plan, yes.” She closed her eyes, hoping he would get it because she honestly couldn’t deal with one more mean person in her life.

“That’s amazing. Zennie, I don’t know what to say. You’re incredible.”

Tears filled her eyes. “I’m not. I’m a mess. My hormones have me crying every fifteen seconds, my boobs hurt and if I have to eat another salad, I’m going to go screaming into the night. Being pregnant sucks.”

“Sounds like it. Look, how about I bring by Chinese and we’ll talk? Would that be okay?”

She thought about the hideous dinner waiting in her refrigerator. She would have it for lunch tomorrow, she promised herself. While Bernie had insisted on buying all three meals a day, Zennie had talked her down to breakfast and dinner only.

“That would be great,” she said. “You remember where I live?”

“Sure do. Anything you can’t eat?”

She gave him a brief list, then agreed they would meet up at her place in about forty minutes. She hung up smiling.

Thirty-five minutes later she’d showered and changed. She set the table and put on some music. The quivers in her stomach were unexpected, as was the sense of anticipation. She supposed that while she wasn’t interested in Clark romantically, she was happy to see someone who wasn’t going to tell her what to do or be upset with her. Plus, the man was bringing over Chinese—what was there not to like?

When he knocked on the door, she raced to open it, then stood there staring at him. He was a little taller than she remembered and slightly more handsome. She smiled.

“Hi,” she said, stepping back to let him in. “It’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to be seen.”

They laughed and she led him into the kitchen.

It took a few minutes to unpack all the food. She offered him a beer, which he refused.

“Just because I can’t drink doesn’t mean you have to suffer, too,” she said.

He raised his water glass. “In solidarity.”