California Girls

“I won’t cry at the gala,” Zennie said. “I’ll take a supplement.”

Finola stared at her. “They make supplements for that sort of thing?”

Zennie rolled her eyes. “Of course not. I’m pregnant. I can’t take anything. I can barely drink almond milk without worrying I’m damaging the fetus. It’s hell. If the baby were mine, I think I could relax a little, but it’s not mine and yet I’m completely responsible. Every decision I make has to be considered with the baby in mind.”

Finola grinned. “You’re regretting the pregnancy.”

“I’m not and don’t sound so gleeful. It’s just a little harder than I thought. The crying and my boobs hurting and Bernie monitoring every single thing I eat or breathe. We’ve had the most perfect surfing weather and I can’t go. It’s hideous. But once I stop crying, I’ll be fine.”

“You want coffee.”

Zennie groaned. “Yes, and a glass of wine and I don’t usually care if I drink. But yes, wine and sushi. I want to go in a sauna. I want to run until I’m so exhausted I barf. I want to not be careful.” She looked at Finola. “It’s only been a few weeks. I have months to go.”

“It will get easier.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because the human spirit is amazingly resilient. This will become your new normal and you’ll move on. Look at me. I still can’t decide if I would sell a kidney to get Nigel back or if I want him dead, and last night I met a man for drinks.”

Zennie stared at her. “You didn’t. How was it?”

“Awful. He offered to sleep with me, either for revenge or to clean out the plumbing. He was pretty open to either.”

Zennie shuddered. “Sex sounds awful right now.”

“Sadly, it does to me, too. And I’m not pregnant.” She touched Zennie’s arm. “I know I wasn’t on board before, but there’s a very good chance you’re doing the right thing.”

“You sound surprised.”

“I kind of am. I made the statement to be nice, but now I realize I actually mean it. You’re a good person, Zennie. I’m sorry you’re suffering. Now let’s start with the drawers.”

Zennie grinned. “Could I have a second to enjoy the compliment?”

“I don’t think so.”

They each pulled out a drawer and set it on the dining room table. Zennie sorted through half-used pads of paper and a couple dozen pens. There were paper clips, old circulars, playing cards, some batteries and a hair clip in the shape of a butterfly. She found old report cards and sorted them into three piles, then held up a roll of pennies.

“We’re rich,” she said, waving the roll.

“Good to know. Oh, look.” Finola passed over an envelope.

Zennie opened it and saw ticket stubs to a Kelly Clarkson show, along with backstage passes. She turned the tickets over, remembering how much she and Ali had wanted to go to the concert. Zennie had begged and somehow her dad had come through. The three of them had been in the fifth row, dead center. After the show, they’d gone backstage where they’d met Kelly. She’d been sweet, posing for pictures and signing autographs before offering them cupcakes from the crafts table.

“Don’t start crying,” Finola ordered.

“Too late.” She held up the tickets. “This was my first concert. Ali’s, too. We got to meet Kelly and the band.” She managed a strangled laugh. “I remember wearing my backstage pass lanyard around my neck for a week until my teacher made me leave it at home. I thought I was so cool and special.”

“You were both those things.”

Zennie sniffed. “Don’t be nice to me. It’s dangerous.”

“Sorry. You were a spoiled little brat who didn’t deserve a backstage pass.”

Zennie nodded. “Better. Thanks.”

Finola laughed. “Wow, hormones really are powerful. I had no idea. I have a lot more respect for Mother Nature than I did, let me tell you.”

“Me, too.”

They finished with the drawers. Finola went into the kitchen to make them a snack while Zennie sat at the table, fingering the passes.

She missed her dad. Was this what Ali meant when she talked about Dad not being there for her? Zennie had to admit it sucked.

She pulled out her phone and took a picture of the tickets and passes, then texted it to him.

Remember these? What a great night and a great memory. Dad, you’re wrong not to support what I’m doing. I can only help out a friend this way because of how you raised me, so you’re as much to blame. Not talking to me is ridiculous. I’m your favorite—we both know it. So stop acting like this. I’m pregnant and I need my dad.

There were a couple of seconds of silence, then she saw the three dots that told her he was typing.

Imogene isn’t talking to me. She’s pissed and let me tell you, it’s hard to fight with someone when you live in a boat. There are no corners to retreat to. While I won’t admit you’re my favorite, you are a terrific daughter. I just hate to see you taking a chance like you are. What if something goes wrong?

She thought for a second. What if something doesn’t?

Point taken. I love you, Zennie, and I miss you. You’re right—I should be there for you. But really? A baby?

She sniffed. Yes, Dad. A baby. Let it go.

It’s gone. Love you, baby girl. We’ll talk soon.

She smiled. There were more tears—of course—but these were the happy kind. There were still multiple issues—Gina, her mother, work, telling her coworkers, actually being pregnant for eight more months, delivering the baby, recovering, eating kale—but they were doable, she told herself. Everything was going to be just fine.

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