The morning of Axel and Izzy’s wedding is a mess. Everything seems to be going wrong. Axel is having a fit trying to keep Izzy calm over the phone. Dee won’t stop blowing my phone up about every fucking thing from flowers to condoms for Axel. Last time I checked, he is a grown fucking man and can take care of that shit on his own. The last call about grabbing Izzy’s panties before leaving their house is met with the dial tone. I might love her like a sister, but no fucking way I am digging through her underwear.
I have managed to get all the small fires out before finally making my way back to their house. Emmy has been frantically setting up the backyard for the reception to follow the wedding. After spending all day yesterday setting up the tents and tables, not much is left to do other than the chairs and shit. Between the two of us, we manage to finish it up and make it back to the church in time to get ready.
Before I can even throw the truck in park, she climbs out and runs. Not just runs, but takes off in some mad sprint like someone just yelled cake at fat camp.
“Emmy!” I yell across the parking lot. “Babe, what’s the hurry?”
“Don’t give me your sass, Greg Cage! You know we were supposed to be here an hour ago.”
I call bullshit. Emmy might be many things, but she is shit at hiding something that’s weighing hard on her.
“Try ten minutes ago, babe. What’s really got you tied up? You’ve been quiet this week.”
She quirks her brow at my quiet remark. Truth is, she is always quiet and always assessing. Axel is convinced she has some magical powers. Izzy thinks she is trying to make herself invisible. I think she just has a bad crush on the wrong dude.
I know what’s eating her today. Maddox is bringing a date. No one we know, but he told Izzy the other day to expect one. I think his exact words were, “Girl, gotta date.” Luckily, Iz speaks Maddox Locke, because even now, after almost fifteen years, I still don’t understand the motherfucker. This wouldn’t have been a big deal, but he waited until Iz was chatting with Emmy up front at the office to make his grand announcement. Subtle.
“Em.” I say, “Don’t waste your time. As much as I hate to say it, Locke is just never going to be the man you wish he was.” She closes her eyes tight, nods her head, and spins on her heels. Before I can even breathe, she disappears.
I make a mental note to pull him aside and remind him again that he needed to set this straight. I’m sick of watching her mope around and wait for something that will never happen.
After grabbing my tux out of the truck, I take off into the church and search out my girl. Ever since the first day I meet Izzy, even though the circumstances sucked, I have known that she will always hold a piece of my heart, a piece I thought was forever lost when Gracie died. It isn’t hard to love her. Watching her struggle to survive what her ex-husband put her through isn’t easy.
The last year, give or take some time, has been a real struggle. In a sense, I am beyond relieved that someone I consider blood isn’t in danger; won’t be in danger. But, the flip side of that is the knowledge that she doesn’t need me anymore. Sure, she will always need me, but not the same way. She doesn’t need me to make sure her demons will stay away. I don’t think I will ever get used to the fact that my girl doesn’t need my protection anymore.
I can even admit to myself that I have a hard time trusting even Axel with her. It just hits too close to the pain. Grace. There isn’t much about Izzy that doesn’t remind me of Gracie. The only difference is that Gracie… Gracie didn’t win. She didn’t win, and I wasn’t there to make sure she did. Walking Izzy down the aisle today will be bittersweet. Beyond bittersweet. My girl found her other half, finally, and they deserve this. But even knowing this, I can’t help the crushing wave of pure agony that swims through my body.
My Gracie will never know this happiness. My Gracie isn’t here because I couldn’t keep her safe.
Never again, I vow. I will never let anyone or anything stand between those I love and their happiness.
“This church is too damn big,” I curse, walking the maze upon maze of hallways. Checking my watch and noting the time doesn’t help my panic one bit.
“Yo! G-Man. You keep muttering to yourself instead of getting your ugly mug ready, there won’t be a wedding.” Coop. Damn. If anyone could hold me up even longer, it will be this bastard.
“Well, then help me out asshole. Where can I go get ready?”
“Hey, you think there will be some single ladies here tonight?” he asks, completely ignoring me. I can feel the sweat prickling my skin. My jaw drops and my head pounds as he goes on and on about his mission. Idiot.