She makes a frustrated noise. “I miss Tam, too. Look at the stupid shit I did the other night, and for what? We can’t take these assholes back or we’ll never be able to live with ourselves.”
“I know and trust me, if I was sitting in your seat, I’d be rolling my eyes, too.” I nibble on the corner of my lip. I can’t reveal exactly what Reed’s issues are, because that’s private, but I want Val to understand. The only reason she’s pressing me is that she cares, which I really do appreciate.
“So what is it? Is he just really good at groveling?”
Why did I forgive Reed? It wasn’t because he had a sad story and that he made me feel good, because those aren’t reasons to be with anyone who treated a girl the way Reed treated me.
My connection to him is…complicated. Even I can’t make sense of it half the time. I just know that I get him on a deeper level, that his loss speaks to mine. That his happiness stirs my own. That his struggle to find some sense in this crazy world is as familiar to me as my own skin.
Carefully, I try to explain this to Val. “I took him back because I don’t know if there’s anyone I understand better or who gets me in the same way. You don’t know this, but a couple weeks after I got here, I had a meltdown all over Reed and started hitting him in the car.”
Val’s lips twitch. “Seriously?”
I’m glad to see her smiling. Val’s friendship is as important as anything these days. “Seriously. He held me off with one hand while still driving us home. And even when he said he hated me, he still drove me to school every day. I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel like we’re the same. Some days I’m hormonal and weepy and some days he’s an asshole, but we’re made out of the same bits of flesh and bone and screwed up emotions.”
“Have you even tried another guy?”
“No. And even if I did, it wouldn’t work. He wouldn’t be…Reed.”
She sighs, but it’s a sound of acceptance. “I’m not going to pretend to understand, but I decided after the other night that I’m moving on.”
“You might want to wait until your bruise fades. How’d you even explain that to your family?”
“I said I walked into a door. It’s true enough, except the door was some girl’s face.”
“Are we going to the game tonight?”
She pokes at her quinoa veggie bowl. “I don’t know. I think I’m done with Astor guys.”
“How about the hottie sitting next to Easton?” I ask.
She peers past my shoulders. “Liam Hunter?”
“He looks…intense.”
“He is intense. And probably on top of my list of guys to avoid. He’s like Tam. A poor boy with a big chip on his shoulder who wants to make it big. He’d use me up like Kleenex and then toss me away.” She uncaps her water bottle. “What I need is a rich boy, because they don’t attach to people, only things. If they don’t attach to me, then I won’t attach to them.”
I start to tell her that isn’t how it works, that you can fall in love with people who can’t stand you. Look at me and Reed. I fell for him while he was pushing me away and treating me awful. I kept loving him despite finding out some pretty horrible things. But Val isn’t hearing me. She’s still wrapped up in her hurt and that’s the only voice in her head right now.
“You need a rich boy to use, I’m your man.”
We both twist around to see Wade sidling up to our table.
Val gives him a cool appraisal. I can tell she likes what she sees, but that’s not much of a surprise. Wade is hot. “If I used you, then you’d have to abstain from other girls.”
“What do you mean?” he asks, looking genuinely confused. Fidelity is obviously a foreign concept to him.
“She means that while the two of you are using each other, you don’t go outside of that friends-with-benefits relationship,” I explain.
He frowns. “But—”
Val cuts him off. “Forget it, Wade. I’d do things to you that would blow your mind, and then you’d never be able to enjoy yourself again because you’d keep comparing all your other girls to me and coming up short.”
His mouth hangs open.
I grin, because this is the first time I’ve ever seen someone get the better of Wade. “She knows things,” I confirm, even though I don’t have a clue what I’m talking about.
“You know things,” he croaks out.
Val nods. “I do.”
Wade instantly falls on one knee. “Oh, dear maiden. Please allow me to insert my member into your cavern of pleasure and take you to heights only the immortals have known.”
Val stands and picks up her tray. “If that’s your idea of dirty talk, you’ve got a lot to learn. Come with me.”
She walks off.
Wade turns to me and silently mouths, “Dirty talk,” with childish glee.
I shrug and raise my hands, and he runs after Val. Like literally sprints.
“Do I want to know what that was all about?” Reed asks, setting his tray down next to mine.
“I don’t think so. Honestly, I’m not even sure I could explain it if you asked.”
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