Deb lifted her head and turned to Sam. “I wish Cara was here to go through these with us.”
Sam nodded in agreement. “She was the most important person in his life.” She said as she smiled down at a picture of Jake giving Cara a piggyback ride. He was looking over his shoulder with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. She was sure her brother had fallen head over heels in love with Cara way back then. The proof was in the photos. Every single photograph of the two of them, they were smiling and so at ease with one another.
“Luke brought her back here last night, she barely said a word and this morning when I went to bring her coffee she was gone. I wanted her to have some sort of input on Jake’s arrangements. She’s his fiancée after all.” Deb said. The final sentence catching as her emotions got the best of her.
Sam took her mother’s hand in hers and patted it gently. “Everyone grieves differently, mom. Cara has no family. Her whole world centered on Jake.” Sam shook her head.
Deb nodded. “I just don’t want to lose her too. We’re her family now.” She said as she reached for a tissue. The doorbell sounded and Sam immediately stood.
“I’ll get that. It’s probably another fruit basket or flower arrangement.” Sam said and took a glance around the room. Every piece of furniture had some sort of flower or plant on it. The kitchen was stocked with food from neighbors and friends who had sent their condolences.
She stepped into the front hallway and pulled open the door. She was prepared to tip another delivery boy, not see the man she spent the night with. The man she should’ve never spent the night with. Bad Samantha! She scolded herself mentally. “Nick, what’re you doing here?”
Nick laughed out loud causing her to furrow her eyebrows in confusion. He shook his head and brushed past her, inviting himself into the house. She rolled her eyes and closed the door. When she turned around, she placed her hands on her hips and glared at him.
“Look, I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but my parents just lost their son and they're not exactly…”
“Would you just shut up!” He exclaimed, cutting off her words. “I’m not here for you.” He shook his head and ran his hand over his head, clearly agitated. He shot her a fierce look, one that told her to back off. He had taken just about all the shit he’d ever allow himself to take from her and was done. He was so fucking done. He turned around and walked into the living room.
Sam stood speechless, her hands still poised on her hips. Had he just dismissed her? She went to rip him out of the living room and lash into him, when her father walked down the stairs.
“Who was at the door?” Joe asked, holding an empty garment bag.
Sam dropped her hands from her waist and looked up at her father. She couldn’t remember a time in her life when she had seen her father look so old, so distraught. She had been only five when her paternal grandfather died. Luke and Jake often talked about him and how great of guy Grandpa Lou was, but she also remembered her brothers telling her that was the only memory they had of their father crying. They said he sat in their family room for about a month listening to Mike and the Mechanics, “The Living Years”.
She didn’t know how her father would mourn Jake, maybe he would play records, or maybe he would walk around in denial much like he was now. She didn’t think that denial was the right word, because she was sure he was aware his son was gone. He was on his way to make the arrangements to bury him. But still he was acting like he had it all under control, which wasn’t the norm for him.
“Nick’s here.” She nodded towards the living room as her father stepped off the last step and headed towards where Deb and Nick were.
“Deb?” Joe said softly, tearing her away from her embrace with Nick. They both turned to face Joe. Nick took a few steps towards him and patted him on the back.
“How are you holding up, big guy?” Nick asked sincerely. It was hard for Sam to hate him sometimes. Especially when she watched the way he interacted with her parents. He really did love them, she marveled.
“One day at a time, that’s all we could do.” Joe said sullenly. He looked over at his wife. “I found the garment bag. Have you decided what you want him to wear?” He asked, his voice catching thinking about what his son will be laid to rest wearing.