"Why are you asking me?"
Shay shrugs. "He'd be a good dad. I don't know how he'd do in the husband department since he's never had to be faithful before. He's good with my brothers, and you see how he is with Folgers. Ford told me how years ago he broke his foot. Pax took care of him, so much that Ford gained ten pounds from being a lazy bum. When the Reed boys love, they love something fierce. I hope Pax can do that with you. Can you imagine double dating and having play dates and other couple stuff?"
Shay links our arms as we catch up to the men, who've narrowed the choices to two trees. Ford and Pax struggle to decide which brother is hotter. The winner gets the better tree.
Lula looks at me over Pax's shoulder, and her expression nearly sends me into tears. My baby feels like a princess in his arms. The tree means little compared to how this man treats her. I know how she feels.
"How about Shay and I arm-wrestle for the best tree?" I ask.
The Reed boys study us then glance at each other. Their smirks indicate they're fans of the idea. After Pax tries to talk us into a mud-wrestling match, Shay and I sit at a picnic table and clasp hands.
"I work out a lot," she says, already laughing before she finishes lying. "Don't feel bad if you lose to my buff self."
"Eat S H I T and bow to my F U C K I N G awesome biceps. Wait, those muscles the guys show off are biceps, right?"
Shay just shrugs. We notice Ford telling Donny not to announce what words I spelled.
"Ready, ladies?" Pax asks.
Once we nod, he says go. Being a maid apparently gives me superior muscles than a former stripper turned hotel front clerk turned stay-at-home fiancée. Yeah, I whoop Shay good.
Pax leans over and whispers something to Ford. Whatever he says causes his big brother to want to shove him. I've seen this routine before, but Pax is holding Lula. Ford grunts before slapping his brother upside the head.
"He hates to lose," Pax tells me with fake sympathy. "So we get the best tree in the lot. As it should be."
After I high-five Lula, she rests her head on Pax's shoulder. A moment passes where I know I'm in love with this man. The fear of losing him makes me want to puke. Not noticing my tension, Pax grins.
"I'm gonna reward you for that win, baby."
My stomachache disappears as all the heat in my body flows to between my legs. Pax's grin widens. He knows exactly what his rough voice does to me.
The guys at the lot take the trees and prep them. Lula covers her ears when the chainsaw roars but is in a state of bliss otherwise. She barely even reacts when Pax hands her to me when he and Ford meet with Joker.
Shay and I remain with the kids, but our minds are with the men. We know something is wrong in the club, and I sense the brothers are on the outs. More than once, I've thought to ask Shay what is happening. The possible answer scares me, so I keep my mouth shut. She probably doesn't know anyway. Club guys don't tell club secrets.
20
Pax
Seeing Only You
Lula and Folgers sit in front of the tree, staring at the flashing lights. I've seen too many horror movies not to be creeped out by their behavior. My brain focuses on them being weird until Bebe joins me on the couch and rests her head against my arm.
Sliding up my tee's sleeve, Bebe kisses the pinup girl on my arm. I feel her teeth nip at the flesh, and every part of my body goes soft except between my legs. Now I'm rock hard, and we have a kid ten feet away.
"You made her so happy," Bebe whispers. "She thinks you're amazing."
"What about you? Are you still a fan of mine?"
Bebe gives me a sly grin. "If it was just me when we met and I didn't have a little girl to worry about, I would've thrown myself at you that first night."
"Really?" I ask, surprised by her certainty.
"You were so F U C K I N G sexy in that white tee. My fingers F U C K I N G tingled all through dinner from wanting to touch you."
"I suspect you got F U C K I N G on the mind with all your spelling there, baby."
"Once she tires out, I'll stop spelling."
My gaze roams her body, stopping at her plump tits under her striped shirt. I imagine popping the latches on her bra and freeing her soft flesh into my hands. In my mind, I hear Bebe's breathing shift as I tug at her nipples. I picture her eyes closing the way they did the night before. I want to see her come apart again tonight and tomorrow and every day.
When I think of never being with anyone else though, my gut tenses. No blondes or redheads. No skinny chicks with small boobs. No loud girls with drinking problems. No psychos who bite my dick. Am I really ready to follow Ford's lead and give up all other pussy?
Even with no pressure from Bebe, I feel suffocated. She wants too much. She comes with too much baggage. I have my baggage too. How the hell am I supposed to handle more? Fuck if I'm ready to juggle a bigger family. I can barely see Shay every day without wanting to be an asshole.
"What's wrong?" Bebe asks, leaning away from me.
"Nothing."