I try to scratch his back, but he shrinks away from my touch. "Leo, that sounds like you were in a really bad situation, but I don’t necessarily think anything you did was wrong. You wanted to protect Erica after everything that happened to her. Can’t you see that it was a somewhat noble thing to do?"
"I had lunch with Caleb today," he announces, suddenly changing the topic.
"I thought you had a business meeting at lunch?"
"I did. It was with Caleb," he answers frankly.
"Um, okay."
"I wanted to ask him about Eli. He applied for one of my open positions. I recognized his name from hearing you talk about him and Casey. I never really got the full picture there though. I knew it was Casey who was driving the car that night, but I didn’t really understand Eli’s role in the accident until today."
"Wait. Why the hell didn’t you just ask me?"
"Because I know you, Sarah. You can forgive everyone in the world except for yourself. I wanted the truth, not your rose-colored version of it."
"That’s not fair. The truth is the truth no matter which way you spin it. He’s not a bad guy because he was trying to protect Casey."
"He left two woman for dead on the side of the road—one of them being my woman."
I let out an exasperated sigh, knowing that this conversation is going nowhere. When he puts it like that, I can’t honestly blame Leo for being pissed.
"Okay, fine. So you don’t like him. Don’t hire him. There are other jobs he can get."
"Sarah, you don’t get it. Yes, Caleb told me all about the chairs and how he really stepped up for Brett. The reason people hate him is not necessarily because of what he did. It’s how he handled it afterward. He befriended the people he’d wronged. Can you just for a second take a step back and look at this whole situation objectively?"
"Fine, yes. It was messed up," I begrudgingly answer.
"Ding, ding, ding," Leo chimes before draining his beer and standing to get another one. "Which is exactly why I wanted to be alone tonight. Eli and I have entirely too much in common. The person I wronged is now my best friend." He walks to the kitchen.
"You’re not Eli!" I call out, jumping to my feet to follow him.
"I don’t think I am Eli. I just think he’s a selfish son of a bitch in a ‘Hello, kettle. You’re black’ kind of way."
"Why the fuck are you even concerned with Eli? You want me to stop hanging out with him? Fine. Whatever it takes for you to stop acting like a brooding child. Casey is my friend though. I won’t accept you dictating my relationship with her."
"A brooding child? Jesus, aren’t you one to talk!" He laughs manically.
"So, we’re doing it like this, huh? You want to take some stabs at me to make yourself feel better? Go for it!" I swing my arms out to my sides. "But when this shit is over, you’re going to feel worse."
"God damn!" he screams so loud that it echoes off the walls, but I stand my ground.
"There you go. Get pissed. We haven’t broken your dishes yet. Have a go at them."
He shakes his head and begins to crack his knuckles. "I hate you sometimes," he fumes, but his voice cracks at the end.
"I hate you too. But only because I love you so fucking much and you always talk shit about my boyfriend." I cross my arms and give him a pointed look. "I’m not going to sit here and try to fill your head with all the ways that what you did wasn’t wrong—even though it wasn’t. All that matters is how you feel about yourself. You know what I love about our relationship? We can forgive each other anything, but looking at ourselves in the mirror is damn near impossible. So how about this? I’ll love you and you love me. And maybe that will be enough."
"That sounds like a terrible plan," Leo responds, grabbing the back of my neck and pulling me into his chest. "How do you always make things so bearable?" he asks, kissing the top of my head.
"The same way you do it for me. When my vision tunnels, you always find a way to remove the blinders. You also have to remember I’ve been dealing with my shit a lot longer than you have. You should see the hours I’ve logged in therapy. It was my full-time job for almost two years."
He sighs, and I can feel his pulse gradually slowing in his chest.
"Any chance I can convince you to start seeing someone again?"
He laughs.
"Maybe start taking some anti-depressants?" I continue. "I think they would help you a lot."
"Seeing someone, yes. Drugs, no." He releases me but only long enough to grab my hand and guide me back over to the couch.
"Can you at least agree to explain to me why?"
When he lets out an exasperated sigh, I quickly amend my statement.
"Not tonight. Maybe next week. We’ve done enough talking for one Thursday night. Hell, maybe even an entire month of Thursdays."
"Yeah. Next week," he mumbles then places a gentle kiss on my lips.
I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s not going to be that easy to get him to explain this one though.
Emma: So apparently Kara and Hunter are back together. Are you going to freak if she comes to Collin’s birthday party with him?
Me: Jesse’s best friend, Kara?
Emma: Yes
Me: The one who lived with Jesse when I broke into her apartment?
Emma: Yes