Dragon lets silence take us over. I am a little disappointed, but still I know it will take time for him to get used to sharing with me. I need to be patient. I’ve already seen small changes in him.
I let my hand trail down his stomach, my fingers following the line of his tattoo. It’s of a wolf howling; his fangs eerily covered in blood with the word Savages MC at a diagonal written in the blood. Underneath that the words, Live Free or Die Trying are placed. I have seen that insignia all through the club. It is on the arms or backs of each of the members. Yet, on Dragon it is different. On the others it was frightening almost menacing, on Dragon it is sad and beautiful.
Our room is dark and quiet. The sounds from the party in the main room had died down long ago. I pull closer to Dragon, our legs interlocked, his arm holding me at his side, my head resting on his shoulder. I can’t remember ever being as happy as I am in this moment. I don’t know why, but here in this moment, after everything we had done tonight, I feel like I’ve found where I belong.
My lips press a kiss over Dragon’s heart. He can act mean and tough and I even understand why, but he has another side to him. A side he lets me see, a side that makes me want to reach out and never let him go. I love him. I can’t deny it anymore. I’m not ready to share that with him though, if he had been listening in the shower he might know now.
It hasn’t been long, and some would say nowhere near the time needed to feel as deeply as I did. I don’t care what they say. It doesn’t matter to me. I know. I love Dragon—time and caution be damned.
“What’s your real name?” I whisper. If he isn’t ready to share the club with me, then I need this part of him. I need to know I’m not totally invested by myself.
Dragon sighs, “Mama I don’t want to get into this shit tonight.”
“Please?” I ask. It is important. In my heart I know now Dragon was it for me. If we don’t work out, there will never be another man who will get all of me like I am willing to give him.
“Some kids don’t have white picket fences Nicole. Hell they don’t even have houses.”
“I know that Dragon.”
“Knowing it and living it are two different things Mama.”
“And you lived it?” I asked. I can feel my stomach twisting.
“Fuck Mama, I burned in hell with it.”
I let my hand move to his other side and pull him closer to me. I want to absorb his words, let him know I am here with him.
“Dragon is my name,” he says tiredly, his eyes closed.
“Who gave you that name?” Trying to give him a minute away from the memories I had tripped.
“My brothers in the Army, said they could feel the scorch of my anger on the battlefield.”
Having seen Dragon upset and on other heated occasions, I could firmly and wholeheartedly agree with that, so I say nothing. I just place another kiss on his chest and wait.
“I liked it, it was an honest name given to me by men who had become my family. So that’s who I am now. The person before Dragon doesn’t even exist now.”
“And who was that man?” I ask, not sure why at this point I’m pushing, just knowing I need to.
“The name the city gave me.”
“The city?” I ask, confused.
“Damn it Nicole!”
“It’s okay Dragon you don’t…”
“Found in a dumpster mama, wrapped in a garbage bag. Just another whore’s throw away, addicted to crack. Is that what you wanted to hear Nicole? Are you proud you let that filth touch you?” Dragon growls out.
He sits up, on the side of the bed, his back to me. I sit behind and press against him, kissing the back of his neck and hugging him as tight as I could with my arms.
“I’ve never been prouder. I’ve never belonged to anyone in my life before you Dragon. I’m yours no matter what.” I whisper into his ear, hoping the message gets through to him.
My heart is pounding. I knew Dragon’s story was bad, but I didn’t expect this. I feel like I am breaking in half, just picturing the story he painted. Someone threw out this magnificent man with the garbage. What a beautiful baby he must have been. He deserves to be loved, to be held and rocked to sleep. To be kissed and whispered to…
A tear falls from my eyes and I am glad he couldn’t see it. Dragon wouldn’t want pity from me. I can’t show him that.
“That’s who I am Nicole. I survived; doctors got the shit out of my system. I survived. End of the fucking story.”