“You didn’t deserve to be on there,” he replies.
My hand slides up his shoulder and wraps around his neck as I hug him and squeeze tight.
“Thank you. That means a lot to me.”
“Don’t say that, please,” he says, turning around to face me.
I don’t understand why he keeps rejecting the idea that I can like him. I’ve already come to terms with it, so he should too.
“I can’t thank you for taking my name off your hit list?” My brows draw together.
“I’ve given you nothing but pain. I’ve done nothing good for you. Nothing.”
Even now, he still thinks of himself as the worst of the worst. As if he’s some kind of animal who’s not allowed to even get close to me. But he put his life on the line to protect me back when his uncle tried to kill me. He even went after the guys who murdered my brothers. If that isn’t a show of goodwill, I don’t know what is.
I place my hand on his face and caress him softly. “That’s not true. You wanted to give your life.”
He sucks in a breath. “Don’t.” He grabs my hand, pushing me away. “I don’t deserve your love. And I don’t want your pity.”
I don’t feel pity for him. I never did. I was fighting so hard against the feeling of needing him, and I’m done fighting now.
So I grab him and pull him toward me, wrapping my hands around his waist. “I’m the one who decides who earns my love.”
“Why would you give that to me, knowing what I’ve done?” He slams the brick wall behind me. “Dammit, Dixie. You should’ve been living out your life, enjoying it to the fullest.”
“There’s no fun without you,” I reply. It’s the honest truth. Life is boring without him in it. I used to hate that feeling, but I’ve come to terms with that now.
Brandon roars out, stepping away from me to watch the fire once again. The flames have really gotten him riled up. Does fire always do this to him? No wonder he likes burning shit so much.
“Leave me be,” he says resolutely.
“Why?” I ask.
“Because I wanna do things to you that aren’t right.”
My body responds to his words as if on cue, and my legs squeeze together with glee.
I creep up behind him. “Like what?”
“Everything. The fire … it does something to me. It puts me in a frenzy, and I need to release it. I don’t wanna do that to you. Or your body.”
Does he mean … sex?
Is that why he was jerking off in the shower that day he came back covered in blood? And why he was in such a rush to kiss me after the bonfire?
It’s as if his body responds to fire the same way mine does when it sees a violent man. With a fluttering heartbeat and a need to fuck.
But why make things difficult when the answer is so easy?
All we need to do is give in.
With a devious smile on my face, I pull him closer and kiss him on the lips. Then I go to my knees in front of him.
“What are you doing?” he murmurs as I unzip him.
I wink. “Giving you what you need.”
Chapter Forty-Two
Brandon
From underneath her lashes, she gazes up at me with seductive eyes. For the first time in a long time, I don’t know what to say as she pulls down my pants. I feel ashamed to even like what she’s doing, but the moment she pulls down my boxer shorts, I’m already hard.
I was already aroused just from watching the fire, let alone her touching me, kissing me … and now this.
With her on her knees in front of me, I bite my lip while she wraps her hands around my length. It feels wrong to accept it, yet I don’t wanna stop her either. The more she rubs me, the harder I get, and I close my eyes and tilt my head back, sucking in a breath.
Fuck. What an end to a violent show.
Suddenly, her lips are on my cock, and my eyes instantly connect with hers. She won’t look away as she starts sucking my dick, and I can’t take my eyes off her either. She looks so damn sexy with her lips wrapped around my hard-on. Fuck.
Is it wrong for me to want this? To stand here and let her suck me off?
Maybe. But I’m not the one who started it. She basically threw herself at my feet. I’m surprised she’s willingly offering herself like this. Should I turn her down?
“Why?” I mutter as she sucks and licks. Damn, it’s hard to even say the words when all I want is to fuck her pretty little mouth.
“Because you need it.”
“No, that’s not a good enough reason for me,” I growl, wanting to pull away.
But she keeps going. “Because I want to,” she says.
That’s better, but I’m still not sure I can accept it.
Why would she want to do this after everything I did to her? She should hate me. Instead, she’s practically begging me to release myself inside her mouth.
“I don’t understand,” I say.
“What’s there to understand? I’m a sucker for bad boys,” she says, shrugging. “I just wanna be good for you.”
“You don’t have to do this,” I say, licking my lips.
“I told you … I want this. For me. And for you. But mostly for me,” she says, her tongue dipping out to lick my length. “I don’t want our last time to be in that damn shed.”
“And this is better?” I scoff, raising a brow.
“No, which is why I expect you to show up on my doorstep every single day.” She winks, sucking me off until my veins begin to pulse. “So we can do it better every single time.”
“But—”
When she takes my dick into her mouth all the way to the base, I forget the words I wanted to speak.
“Fuck,” I murmur, trying my hardest not to bang her against the wall and fuck her mouth. It’s so damn hard to resist when she keeps looking up at me with those sweet eyes, practically begging me to do it. And when she rolls her tongue around my dick, I’m done for.
“Use me,” she whispers, giving another lick. “Fuck my mouth.”
My hand balls into a fist. I wanna punch the wall in front of me because I’m so pissed off at myself that I actually wanna do it. But I can’t say no to her.
“I like it,” she adds.
That’s it.