“I was... wrong about Mary. She’s not what I thought she was.”
Lexi held in the gasp that threatened to escape. There was no mistake. “Bullshit,” she snorted. “I saw the two of you together, remember?”
Aidan didn’t respond. Instead he reached into his drawer and pulled out a bottle of Scotch. He poured a drink for himself and took a long deep swallow, then refilled the glass.
“Aidan, what happened?” Now more concerned than angry, her voice was softer than it had been. Lexi sank into the chair next to his desk.
He swirled the glass in his hand, his eyes fixed on the amber liquid. He was quiet for so long, she didn’t think he’d answer.
“She was married, Lex.”
Lexi blinked once, then twice, waiting for the rest of it. When he didn’t say any more, she prompted, “So?”
“So? She was married, Lex. As in, committed to another man. Vowed to love, honor, and cherish till death do them part,” he spat, the raw pain in his voice a sharp blade.
“Again I ask, so?”
He laughed, but there was no humor in the sound. “So from all this croie bullshit you’ve been feeding me for the past five fucking years, she can’t possibly be mine now, can she?”
“Let me get this straight,” Lexi said slowly. “You think because she was once married, she can’t be the one for you?”
“Ding ding ding. Give the lady a prize. Christ, Lex. You claim that you and Ian are croies. Could you picture yourself married to someone else?”
“Yes, actually,” Lexi said truthfully. “To be honest, there was a time when I thought I’d marry you.”
Aidan’s head whipped up. “What?”
Lexi nodded. “It’s true. You were – are - my best friend, Aidan. Often times my only friend. You took care of me, stood up for me, protected me when no one else did. You made me laugh, held me when I cried, and saved my life more times than I could count. So, yeah, it seemed reasonable to think we might end up together.”
Aidan stared at her in disbelief. “But Ian is your croie. You have always loved him.”
“Yes, he is, and yes, I have. But I never believed Ian and I would end up together, did I? And even though I thought I loved him, I had no idea what it would truly be like.” She paused, searching for a way to explain it. “I think we could have been happy, you and I. I do love you, you know.”
“I know,” he sighed. “And I love you. But not like Ian does.”
“Exactly. And not like you love Mary. So maybe some other guy made Mary happy for a little while. But that was before she met you. I bet she never even knew she could feel the way she feels about you.”
*
Aidan considered Lexi’s words. In a way, it made sense. Hadn’t he once considered proposing to Lexi himself? If her father hadn’t died, she wouldn’t have returned to Pine Ridge and hooked up with Ian, and they probably would be married right now. And he probably would be happy. But that was because he’d never met his true mate and known the difference between contentment and nirvana.
“How much do you know about Mary’s marriage, Aidan?” Lexi asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.
“Nothing,” Aidan admitted. “I was so angry when I found out that I left before she could tell me anything.” He ran his hand down his face. “I walked out, Lex, mad as hell because I thought I’d fooled myself into thinking Mary was something she wasn’t.”
“But she is, isn’t she?”
The look on Aidan’s face was tortured. “I don’t know, Lex. I swear to God I don’t fucking know.”
But he did know that for a brief, glorious time he’d thought all of his dreams had come true. And that ever since he’d stalked out of Mary’s house that morning, his insides felt like they had been shredded and dipped in acid.
“Want my advice?” Lexi said, standing up.
“Not really,” he said with a rueful grin, knowing she would give it to him anyway.
“Tough. Call her. Take her to dinner and listen to what she has to say before it’s too late.”
“Before it’s too late?” Aidan repeated. “Do you know something I don’t, Lex?”
She gave him a small, sad smile. “Just talk to her Aidan. She deserves that, at least.”
After Lexi left, Aidan tossed back what remained of his Scotch and poured another, the lingering feeling of doom hanging over him like a black cloud. Maybe Lexi was right. Maybe he should have talked with her about it instead of rushing out.
Seeing those pictures, holding those rings, had felt like a betrayal. But it wasn’t, not really. It happened before they met, though he didn’t know just how long ago. Mary looked much younger in the pictures he’d seen. Younger, and, he realized, much sadder.