His corded throat worked as he swallowed. “You were right,” he said gruffly. “I don’t talk to you.”
Shock spiraled through her, but she recovered quickly. “I know I’m right. That’s why I said it.” She busied herself with cooking, lifting an omelet from the pan with a spatula and setting it on one of the plates she’d stacked by the burner.
“I’m surprised you put up with me for three whole months back then.”
His soft words had her turning around to look at him. Something that resembled vulnerability flashed in his gorgeous eyes. “Why did you?” he pressed.
“Because I thought I loved you,” she confessed.
His gaze flew to her face. “You did?”
“Yeah. But…then I smartened up.” She scooped up the second omelet, then shut off the burner and joined him at the counter. “I realized that love is more than just hot sex. It’s about…connecting. Sharing. Intimacy. We didn’t have that.”
A long silence fell over the room. Bree concentrated on her breakfast, unsettled by the route the conversation had taken.
Next to her, Jake ate quietly, stopping every few seconds to sip his coffee. He didn’t try to continue the discussion, didn’t even look at her as he devoured his food. Mr. Strong and Silent was back, which didn’t surprise her. Jake was nothing if not predictable.
“I was honorably discharged from the army, Bree.”
Or maybe he wasn’t.
She nearly dropped her cup, stunned by the raw torment that sliced into his rugged features. “What? Are you serious?”
He nodded, looking so miserable that she shuffled the stool so she could slide closer to him. “I could have re-upped, but I didn’t.”
“Why not?” she asked in bewilderment.
“Because my head wasn’t in it.” He shifted around to face her. “I’m in a fucked up place, Bree. Thinking about things I never thought I’d have to think about. Trying to make sense of my life. Make sense of what I did wrong.” His broad chest heaved as he released a breath. “When I saw you at the auction, I was looking for a distraction. That’s why I pushed so hard for us to…you know, do what we do best.”
“We were always pretty skilled at distracting each other,” she admitted wryly.
His pained expression returned, and she reached out to trace the hard line of his jaw. “What did you mean about doing something wrong?”
“I…made a mistake. On my last mission.”
“A mistake,” she echoed.
“I can’t say much about it. Not because I don’t want to talk,” he added quickly. “But because it’s a security issue. My unit was ordered to deal with a terrorist problem. Can’t tell you where it went down, or who it involved, but I can say that the mission didn’t exactly go as planned.”
Bree reached for his hand, rubbing the calluses on his large palm. The torment in his eyes made her heart constrict. She didn’t push him to go on, but when he did, she couldn’t help but feel a rush of joy that he was willing to confide in her.
“The target wasn’t alone when my unit ambushed the cave he was holed up in.” His breathing went shallow. “His family was with him—wife, two young kids. They were caught in the crossfire.”
Bree gasped.
“But not before one of those kids blew my man’s head off,” Jake choked out. “Kevin Daniels. He was a rookie, only twenty-three, and it was his first op. During all the chaos, one of the target’s kids, a boy—couldn’t have been older than nine—got hold of an AK47 and aimed it at Daniels. I had a clear shot, but…fuck. He was a kid.”
Jake slammed his hand on the counter. Plates and cutlery rattled. A fork clattered to the floor with a metallic ping.
Both she and Jake ignored it.
“I hesitated,” he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. “I didn’t take the shot, and the little bastard released a round into Daniels’s face.” He muttered a savage curse. “My bullet got the kid in the chest as Kevin’s body was hitting the ground.”
“Oh, God.”
Bree’s heart thudded as she stared at Jake’s guilt-ridden face. She couldn’t even imagine what he was feeling right now, or what he’d felt in that cave, watching his fellow soldier die and then being forced to kill a child.
As her chest tightened with sympathy, she hopped off the stool and wrapped her arms around Jake’s massive shoulders. “I’m sorry you had to go through that,” she murmured.
His body went limp in her embrace. The short bristles of his hair tickled the bottom of her chin as he buried his face in her breasts. She wasn’t sure how long they stayed in that position. When Jake finally lifted his head, Bree’s arms ached from holding him so tight.