“I’m the reckless gambler?” He laughed. “You never even had a chance. I had to let you win.”
His smile was so warm, so perfect, that for a tiny moment, I forgot all my problems. I wondered if anyone else obsessed over that tiny dimple on his right cheek. I picked up a small stone from the edge of the fire pit and began drawing in the dirt—I needed to distract myself.
“Interesting. You chose a rose quartz.”
“Did I?” I turned it over in my hand.
“See the light pink threads? Stones have meanings, just like flowers.”
I turned my attention back to the dirt so I could stop staring at him.
“What is that?” He leaned into me, his shoulder barely touching mine, as he studied my drawings.
“It’s the symbol for fire ascending,” I said as I erased the triangular image from the dirt. “And this is the symbol for wet earth.” I etched the figure into the soft ground. “They’re similar. Just inverted. So, fire points up and earth points down. Common sense, really.”
“They’re alchemy symbols.”
I looked up at him curiously.
“I’ve seen Katia drawing symbols in the dirt like that. Did your mother teach you?”
I shook my head. “She never wanted me to learn. I picked up what I could,” I said as erased the symbol. “My mother’s a perfumer.”
“What’s in the perfume you wear?”
“I don’t wear perfume.”
He narrowed his eyes and turned away.
We sat in silence, watching the kindling burn. I could almost see the small flame take in a deep breath of air right before spreading its tendrils to engulf a piece of cedar. That’s exactly how it felt to sit next to Dane. I kept waiting for the breath to come.
I’d begun drawing again in the dirt when he took the stone away from me, pressing it into the palm of his hand, making it disappear.
“That’s impressive,” I said as I pulled my legs to the side so I could face him. “What’s your secret?”
Dane rubbed his hands together dramatically, making the stone reappear.
“Some people think not knowing is the best part. It’s in our nature to want to be fooled. We put up blinders all the time. Illusion is a way to hold on to our innocence. Do you really want to give that up, Ashlyn?”
I reached in to take it back from him, but didn’t want to remove my hand. Just the slight touch of my fingertips against his palm was euphoric. That seemed to be exactly where I’d lived since the moment I met him—in the palm of his hand.
“Why do you call me that? Ashlyn,” I imitated his dramatic tone. “Everyone calls me Ash.”
“Ashlyn means secret, which suits you. Besides”—he closed his hand around mine—“Ash is a nickname for a young girl. I don’t see you that way.”
Instead of looking away in embarrassment, I held his gaze. Something bubbled up inside of me—stronger than courage; the feeling was almost predatory. I wanted him. I couldn’t stop staring at his mouth. I would’ve said anything, done anything, been whatever he wanted me to be at that moment just to feel his lips against mine.
As if sensing my intentions, Dane tried to pull his hand away, but the black silk ribbon had come undone, coiling itself softly around his wrist, binding him to me.
He looked down at the ribbon in surprise, but didn’t flinch.
“I don’t care that you’re a Mixed,” I whispered. “My mother told me we’re not responsible for the sins of our ancestors.”
“That’s a nice sentiment.” Dane’s eyes were soft and wistaful. “But people like us don’t get to choose their fate.”
“What do you mean . . . people like us?”
A flash of heat lightning ripped across the sky; I could see him bury away his thoughts for safekeeping as he untangled himself from the ribbon.
“Tomorrow night’s the annual bonfire.” He got to his feet. “We can slip into the corn without anyone noticing.”
“So, you’ll help me?” A flood of relief washed over me as I stood to face him.
“I’ll take you into the corn.” He kicked dirt over the flames, leaving me to the dark.
I tried to focus on his retreating footsteps, but all I could hear was the corn rattling, like it was whispering my name.
26
GIRLS’ DAY
TOWERING STALKS LOOM all around me as I follow the sound of crackling rope. She’s close, but no matter what I do, no matter how hard I run, she remains out of reach. A soft light beckons in the distance, illuminating a circle within the corn. I catch a glimpse of her pale fingertips, followed by the ends of her honeyed waves as she’s dragged inside the circle. Everything in my body screams at me to run away, but I have to see her. I have to understand what she’s trying to tell me.
? ? ?
“Ashlyn.”
I woke to find Beth smiling down at me, her strawberry-blond hair glinting in the bright sun streaming through the window.
“What time is it?” I propped myself up on my elbows, but even that took a tremendous amount of effort. I was exhausted.
“A little past ten.”