I would not survive if anything happened to you, Tyrrik thought.
I swallowed as the bond between us began to pulse, glowing brighter than the sun, and I was inordinately glad no one else could see it. Because judging by the heat deep in my stomach, the bond connected to a certain part of my anatomy.
I blushed and broke Tyrrik’s gaze. I’ll be careful, but we need the Phaetyn. They’ll be healing all the humans, and you saw Lani fighting. I need to do this. It’ll be worth the risk.
Nothing is worth risking you.
Yeah, well, you’re probably biased, I grumbled. He leaned closer, and my breath hitched.
That’s because you’re mine, he thought, and I blinked at the vibrating conviction behind his words. There was nothing he believed in more. Nothing in the world could shake his certainty that he was mine and I was his.
Tyrrik had accepted the bond wholeheartedly. Even before he knew me, he risked a lot to keep me alive in Irdelron’s dungeons. Since our bond intensified, Tyrrik had flung the doors to his mind wide open even after confessing he feared what I’d find. His instincts had shown him we were mates, and that was enough for him.
I was sure about Tyrrik; really, I was. I just wanted to know him better before I gave everything to him. When my body was a broken mess, my mind had somehow survived, not unmarked, but it survived. I didn’t worry what he’d find would scare him off; I had nothing to hide. But letting him have my soul, mind, and body just because instinct told me so? I’d pushed my Drae energy into him, knowing we’d be bound tighter. I knew letting him in my mind completely, letting my instincts take over, would bind us tighter again. I wanted to be sure I’d thought it all through before granting him unfettered access.
Will we still be able to talk like this? I asked. Even when I’m in the forest?
Yes, that will not diminish with distance. That will be my condition. If you are to go to Zivost without me, I’d like to be allowed to check up on you whenever I want.
I dipped my head as I acquiesced. Understandable. Reasonable even. I accept your condition.
Actually, his stipulation might give me exactly what I was looking for, a way to get to know Tyrrik without his proximity turning me into a donkey who had headbutted the stable door too many times.
Tyrrik broke off our stare, and I sagged forward as though released from a physical grip.
“Ryn will accompany Lani to the forest, and I’ll act as a decoy. The duration of their visit is to be no longer than five days—"
My head shot up. Five days. That was more of a passing remark than a hard clause in our separation contract.
“—and if Ryn is in danger, I will leave this place immediately and get her.” He stared down Lani. “And burn down your forest.”
I gasped. “Tyrrik!”
Lani met his gaze. With an equally serious expression and tone, she answered, “Lord Drae, if the Phaetyn are so far gone as to put Ryn in any danger, you have my blessing to destroy them all.”
3
“You fear becoming dependent. You think dependency makes you weak.”
We sat in our room on his bed talking. I was supposed to be packing, and when he offered to help, I’d hoped that was code for kissing. But no. Instead, Tyrrik did this. Talking.
I rolled my eyes at his comment. He used to call me out in a subtle way: a look, a veiled comment. Now, he just came right out with it. I hated it. I hated that he was right even more.
And why did we need to talk about my feelings—I’d much prefer to discuss a random stranger’s. “Aren’t men supposed to not like chinwags? I’m sure there’s a book on that. Why are you mushy inside?”
Tyrrik raised his brow. “I had a lot of time on my hands. I spent a fair amount of it studying humans’ behavior.”
“I’m not human,” I said, crossing my arms.
Tyrrik chuckled, a low sound that rumbled in his chest and bounced around in my head before settling in the deep cavity underneath the left side of my ribs, which I strongly suspected was my heart. Or possibly a terminal disease.
“You were raised to think like a human. Like a mortal. That is part of why you’re having a hard time with accepting the mate-bond even though you carry my mate mark on your neck.”
I froze, blinking at him before remembering to keep up my cool facade. There he went with the M-word again. And the double M-word. I had a small onyx mark on the side of my neck where Tyrrik first touched me. It showed up after I’d accepted him as my mate a week ago when we saved Lani. Like I belonged to him.
“Think of our sister moons,” he said. “What is the purpose of our moons?”
Was this a lesson? I shrugged. “They light up the night.”
Surprisingly, Tyrrik nodded at my answer. “Does the brightness of one moon take away from the other?”
“No.” This was stupid. “I see where you’re going. But we’re not sisters, and we’re not moons.” He needed to get better examples if we were going to be a M-thing.
“You’re right; we’re Drae, and we are mates. Being mates does not make either of us less than we were. It just is.”
Ouch. The cavity under my ribs panged again. I thought I’d been doing the whole mate thing pretty well. At least well enough that Tyrrik didn’t suspect my lingering fears. Clearly, I’d failed.
His face softened. “When you’re in Zivost, please keep yourself safe. It is painful to my heart and mind for us to be apart, but if this is what you need to appreciate what being a mate means, I will do it. For you, not because those pointy-eared idiots need a leader.”
That terminal disease spot in my chest panged again. Maybe there was something wrong with me. I wasn’t sure what to say, so I peered around the chamber I shared with Dyter and Tyrrik, hoping the Drae would break the heavy silence.
I wanted this; I needed the time and space away from Tyrrik, enough so that I knew what I felt for him wasn’t just attraction or instinct or the mate bond or whatever. I wanted my heart, my head, and my body to be on the same page because I chose it, not because of a black mark on my neck.
Deciding to grow a pair of potatoes, I forced my eyes to meet his. Tyrrik studied my face as though memorizing every curve, and then leaned forward, brushing his lips against mine. His scent swirled around me, smoke and pine, just long enough to make my head spin before he pulled away.
That’s it? I threw his way. I’m going away for days, and you’re going to give me a little peck? I thought you said I meant something to you.
This time, I met him halfway, scooting closer when our lips met. My mouth melded against his, and I sighed, clutching his shoulders.
The bed covers bunched between us, and I growled, swiping them aside to crawl onto my knees and bring us closer still.
Tyrrik’s lips were firm and warm. No one else knew that but me. Everyone else thought he was cold and hard, but I knew better. When his arm circled my waist to pull me closer, I grinned, peeking up at him as I bit my lip. He nipped at the spot when I released it, and I opened my mouth to him again. His tongue brushed and then tangled with mine, tasting of the sweetest nectar. His heat seemed to stroke me, luring me flush against him. The colors bouncing in the gem-encrusted room were augmented by the glow of our bond. The air around us crackled, and the steady smoulder in my belly exploded into something far more frantic. Tyrrik pulled me onto his lap, and I circled my arms around his neck, running my fingers through his midnight hair. My midnight.
Tyrrik’s hands dropped to my waist, and I sucked in a breath, my hands twisting in his aketon. Heat and passion swirled between us. Right now, I couldn’t feel what was mine and what was his.
I love you, Ryn.
His words hit my heart. The rawness within them brought me back to reality with a resounding boom. That was why I was going. I wanted to be able to say those words to him. I wanted to be able to assure him that I felt as strongly for him as he did for me, but I wouldn’t say the words until I was absolutely certain of their truth.