“You’re worried they won’t accept you?” I asked softly.
The fifty-year-old child swallowed. I’d seriously never get past that. “Lani,” I said. “You’re funny and clever and strong. You’ve hidden from the emperor your entire life while helping people outside the forest. There’s no way these people won’t see what I see. And guess what?” I asked, a growl entering my voice. “You’re not really here to be liked; you’re here to save them from the emperor. If they know what’s good for them, they’ll follow you into his lair ten times over.”
Lani tipped her head back and sighed. “You’re right. I know you’re right, but I do want them to like me too.” She shrugged, looking very much like an insecure fifteen-year-old. “So, I have a few last minute jitters.”
I stood, my stomach emitting a groan. “That was my stomach. I swear. And you have zero need for jitters. I’d tell you if you did. Plus,” I said, “I’ll be there to have your back. If you want me to shift and scare the turd-twats, just tell me, and I’m on it.”
She eyed my middle. “Will I need to roll you in?”
“I told you it’s a Drae thing. You think I wanted to eat so much? No, but I can’t deny the call of my instincts can I?” Hypocritical, considering I was attempting to do just that.
The Phaetyn choked on her laugh. “No, Ryn. Don’t ever do that.”
“I won’t,” I said, dusting the leafy debris from my butt. “Now, come here and touch your mother’s tree.”
Her eyes widened as I reached for her, and she stepped back.
“You’ll feel better for it,” I continued, waving her to me.
Lani raised her hands, warding me off. “It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s that I . . .”
I quirked my brows, totally not buying it. She was as scared as a scaredy thing in Scaredyville. “Yes?”
Her shoulders sagged. “I have an image in my head of what my mother was like. What if I’ve made her more than she was?”
She didn’t want to be disappointed. I closed my eyes, thinking of my mother. She’d almost seemed to dance when cooking or ladling my Phaetyn water into containers, and she was always smiling. I remembered how her brown eyes gained an amber glint whenever she teased me. She’d loved me so much she sacrificed everything for me. From what I knew about Luna, she was just as kind and loving. “You don’t have to look, Lani. But speaking for myself, I’d give almost anything to have a tree that could help me see my mother again.” I blinked back the burning in my eyes and continued hoarsely, “And I’ve seen your mother. There’s no way you’ll be disappointed. She was a beautiful . . . amazing person.”
Lani searched my face, her chest rising and falling in rapid succession until she took a deep breath. “You’re right. The tree is a gift.”
I nodded, unable to say anything else without crying, probably even ugly-bawling. As Lani approached the tree, I turned to leave.
“Ryn?” she called before I could get more than a few steps.
I paused, still fighting the emotion clogging my throat and blurring my vision.
“Could you stay?”
I nodded again and took a seat once more. The silence lulled me, and after blinking away my tears, I reached out. Tyrrik?
Mate.
Where are you? The urge to see him was making me nauseous—though that could also have been the fifth peach I ate.
I’ll be stopping in another hour. Nearly halfway to you.
Hurry, I sighed, rubbing my chest. The tightness had lessened but not resolved. Not all of the pressure around my heart was related to the tension here in Zivost.
His dark amusement pushed through our bond. You miss me.
Did I miss him? If a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it, does it make a sound?
Yes. But I wasn’t asking. I know you miss me.
I frowned. How come he knew the answer? And how could he be so confident? I sighed because I realized I didn’t care. He could be confident that I missed him; we weren’t being coy. Right. Well, I know you miss me too.
I can’t wait to have you back in my arms, he confessed.
I bent my head forward so my hair covered my wide smile from anyone passing by. I can’t wait to be back in them. Taking a breath, I focused on the bursting sensation in my chest, the huge knot there from missing Tyrrik, and pushed the overwhelming emotion through our bond.
Tyrrik’s possessive growl ricocheted back in reply. Now I really can’t wait.
A thud sounded behind me, and I glanced back to see Lani on her knees, her forehead pressed against the tree. That was about the reaction I’d had a month ago. Watching the Phaetyn have her emotional crisis reminded me of the talk I’d had with her on the journey here. Tyrrik would arrive late tomorrow, and not to be Avoidance-Agatha, but I wanted to start this particular conversation without him physically near.
I projected my next thought, Should we talk about sex?
Tyrrik stopped flying.
His complete and utter shock hit me like a slap. I recovered first and shot to my feet. Flap your wings, Tyrrik!
He wrenched out of his free fall, but his mind was still a reeling buzz.
My heart beat pounded in my ears, and I wasn’t sure what else to say now.
You want to talk . . . dirty? he asked hesitantly. Are you ready for that?
Oh. My. Moons. That was not what I’d meant. I covered my face, squeezing my eyes shut.
No, I mean talk about it. Like about, I searched for a term from Lani’s speech, about the . . . I couldn’t remember any of her speech. I frowned as I mentally studied him. Are you flying harder now? He totally was.
He ignored my last question. There are no expectations, Khosana. There is just me and you and hopefully a lot of time to explore each other.
Well that made my heart want to burst into a million happy pieces. I took a deep breath and mentally blurted, What I’m saying is I’d like to have sex with you at some point when all this is over. I gripped the sides of my face as he plummeted again, only this time he corrected himself before I could say anything. Mistress Moons, you’re giving me a heart attack.
The feeling is mutual, he shot back.
I closed my eyes and let my energy flow to him through our bond, feeling his uncertainty and concern flow back to me.
After a moment, he asked, How long have you wanted this?
I frowned. Tyrrik’s pure masculinity and raw sex appeal was undisputable. I’d always wanted to touch his body, but would I have ever acted on that without understanding my feelings? No. Not unless Dyter’s brew was involved. I don’t know. When did I first meet you?
He laughed. Again, the feeling is mutual, but then why have you been running?
There was no accusation in his voice, which was probably why I didn’t feel defensive. I had been running from him and us. From what my body told me I should do. However, being away from him wasn’t better or easier. It kinda sucked.
His next words came through our bond just over a whisper. Is it because I’m both older and more . . . experienced?
A snarl tore from my lips, and I snapped my fangs. A group of Phaetyn passing by screamed and ran off.
Ryn? Are you al’right?
Drak. I blinked in the wake of my intense reaction. Where had that come from? Was that . . . jealousy over Tyrrik’s past. Wave after possessive wave pulsed through me, and I reeled from the intensity. I did not want to become like that crazy girl in my cell, losing who I was because of my feelings for Tyrrik. Uh, is it normal to be . . . possessive?
I wasn’t sure how much of my freakiness I wanted to share with him. At least not yet.
You don’t need to explain, love. I struggle with that too. Often.
I let out a shaking breath. How often?
Right now, when Kamoi is probably panting after you? Every second. I’d like nothing more than to shove him over one of those jagged rocks, right through the spleen.
My brows lifted, but considering my reaction only a moment ago, I’d say that was pretty close to how I felt. That’s . . . pretty violent.