I smiled as innocently as I was able, my butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-my-mouth face concealing my secret plan. Okay, maybe ‘secret plan’ was a little melodramatic a term for what I was doing, but that’s basically what it was. After all, being conciliatory and up-front about my feelings hadn’t worked. Maybe I needed to be sneaky. Maybe I needed to shock him to get him out of his slump. Maybe I needed to get him really angry.
I nibbled at some fried tomatoes and sipped my chicory coffee—God, but this stuff was terrible, this was probably the real reason we lost the War of Northern Aggression—and kept careful track of the ratio of Hunter’s trepidation-filled food prodding to his blissful food consumption. When the ratio finally started to swing in my favor and it seemed like he’d sufficiently softened up, I struck.
I waited until he was chewing a large mouthful of bacon and potato, incapacitated and incapable of immediately striking back.
“Maybe this is all for the best,” I said philosophically, smiling so brightly at him I was surprised not to see a spotlight on his face. “After all, Chuck has so much more business experience. He probably has a much better handle on what he’s doing anyway, don’t you agree?”
Hunter just stared at me coldly before swallowing. “I know what you’re doing.”
“Doing?” I asked. My smile became slightly strained.
“Oh, please, Ally,” he sighed, pushing his mostly-empty plate away. He shook his head. “You’re good at lying on paper, but in person your face gives everything away.”
“Excuse me?” I said. But it was all falling apart. I could hear it in the way my voice wavered, that slightly shrill desperate note weaving its way in. Even if he hadn’t had suspicions before, that would have convinced him.
He wiped his face with his napkin and then stood to take his dishes to the sink to wash them, his every movement as slow and careful as if he were dragging a body made of stone, as if he were dragging the accumulated weight of every disappointment and frustration he had experienced in the past two weeks.
“You’re trying to get me all fired up about the company so I’ll ride in and save the day, and you can stop feeling guilty,” he said, his back turned to me, his voice just loud enough to be heard over the running water. “Well, your guilt is not my concern, and my loss isn’t yours. I’ve spent two weeks wrestling with these feelings, and I’m done with them. You can’t get to me. I won’t rise to the bait.”
Was that honestly all he thought of me?
Frustration rose in me like a tidal wave. “Yes, I feel guilty, but that’s not why I’m here!”
“Oh?” he asked, his voice dangerously quiet. “So then why are you here, Ally? What possible other reason could drive you out here to disturb my peace?”
Because I love you, you asshole! I nearly blurted, the grief and the rage loosening the leash I had been keeping on my tongue. I bit it just in time; Hunter needed me to help him out of his funk, not tie him up in more emotional knots. “I came because you have something great here, and I’m not about to watch you throw it all away.”
“What do you care?” Hunter snapped, whirling to face me. His golden-brown eyes were flashing, and his breath came hard and fast, as if he were running a race. “You betrayed me. I trusted you, I thought we were a team, I—I cared.”
I felt as if my heart were being sawed in half. I needed to touch him. I reached out to cup his cheek. “Oh, Hunter—”
But he wrenched away from me. He whirled toward the door, blowing through it like a gust of wind as he stormed off toward the shadows of the surrounding wood.
“Wait!” I called desperately after him.
He didn’t.
I started after him out of reflex, then stopped and looked down at my shoes. They were sensible heels, but only for a certain value of ‘sensible.’ They were definitely not built for chasing through the woods after a man who didn’t want to be followed.
“I cared” and the look on his face when he said it, that shine in his eyes, had that shine been—
But the “why are you here” thrown in my face like a dishrag, like concentrated disdain, as if he were completely done with me—
Fine. New plan. I’d give him some space. I’d give him all the space he could fucking want, and when he was done throwing a temper tantrum, he could come crawling back to this cabin and me, and then maybe we could finally talk.
Yeah, that sentence had sounded really plausible until the last part.
Was it time to accept that we were never going to have those kind of open, honest conversations we’d once had again? Failure had reared its ugly head once again, knocking me off the warpath I’d so recently set off upon. Damn. Double damn.
I slunk back into the cabin in defeat, not sure how I was going to fill the hours until our stalemate heated up again. I paced back and forth in front of the fireplace, then flipped briefly through an adventure novel with a man wrestling with a snake on the front before admitting that there was no way I was going to be able to focus on a plot. I paced over to the bedroom door, but stopped myself before going through; no point in further violating Hunter’s privacy.