“That’s perfect!” she exclaimed. “He does look like Sandy!”
The tag was made, making Sandy’s name official. I loaded our loot into the back of the car, rolling my eyes at the amount of stuff required for one five-pound dog. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how much stuff we’d have to start gathering for the baby.
My stomach tightened when I realized neither of us had even talked about it yet.
No nursery had been discussed. No furniture or baby registry had been planned.
Nothing.
We’d decided as a team that we would celebrate everything—every ultrasound, every clean bill of health—and we had. A frame sat by the couch with the latest ultrasound proudly displayed, but it was as if we were unable to move past that point.
We talked about becoming parents all the time. We joked about the lack of sleep and the restless nights, yet neither of us were actually preparing for it.
What were we so scared of?
I awoke, the faint sound of crying ringing in my ears.
“Lailah, the baby is awake,” I whispered, reaching for her across the bed.
But she was nowhere to be found.
Tossing the sheets aside, I stumbled down the hall, covered in darkness, until I saw the sliver of light peeking out the door. Pushing it open with my hand, I stepped forward, following the urgent cries within.
The moonlight cast a light glow upon the crib, and as I looked down, it created almost an angelic halo on his light-blond hair.
“What’s the matter?” I asked, reaching down to scoop him up.
My fingers ran through his tiny locks as his light-blue eyes studied me. Bouncing him lightly like I’d done a hundred times, we walked back and forth in front of the window, watching the dark waves crashing into the shoreline in the distance.
Within minutes, he was calm once again, his eyes dropping heavily.
“Want to go see Mommy before you nod off again?” I asked, cradling him to my chest, as I walked down the hall in search of Lailah.
I checked the kitchen first, wondering if maybe she’d decided to grab a late snack, but found nothing. The living room was empty as well.
My heart fluttered as I checked the deck, only to find it bare. My feet carried me back down the hall, checking room after room, until I found myself standing at the foot of our bed, staring at the place where I’d started.
A silver picture frame caught my eye, and I walked toward the nightstand. Picking up the photo, I looked down, tears falling from my face as I stared at the last picture taken of her.
“She’s gone,” I choked out. “She’s gone.”
“Sir?” Someone shook me, startling me back to reality. “Sir, we’re about to land.”
I looked around, taking in my surroundings, as my heart pounded in my chest. The roar of the engine filled my ears as the sound of the landing gear moved into place.
It was just a dream.
Lailah is alive, I chanted. Lailah is fine.
The nightmares had started a few weeks ago, a by-product of too much stress. So far, Lailah hadn’t noticed when I’d gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to step out onto the deck for air. And I hadn’t bothered to tell her.
I still fully believed that the least amount of stress in her life was the way to go. So far, it had worked.
I looked out of the window as the plane closed in on New York. It had been less than two months since I was here, having flown back briefly to pack up things for our new home, but it still felt like eons.
California was like another world compared to New York, and while I’d grown up here, I found myself loving the slow, laid-back life of the beach more and more with each passing day. Unfortunately, my job was here. I didn’t know how to change that. I couldn’t ask our entire company to relocate just because I liked the beach.
I took a deep breath, trying to relax, as the pilot landed the plane. Within minutes, the flight attendants had the doors open, and I was walking through the airport toward the row of cabs lining the front. My brother, of course, had beat me to it, and as I walked toward baggage claim, I spotted a man dressed in a sharp suit and tie, holding a sign with my last name neatly printed on it.
Shaking my head, I greeted him.
“Isn’t this a little beneath you?” I grinned, actually glad to see him for a change.
Roman smirked before quickly turning the sign over.
Welcome home, jackass, it said.
“Now, that’s more like it.” I laughed.
We shook hands and headed out toward the front. The jet-black car he always had on standby was parked outside, and I quickly put my carryon in the trunk, not bothering to pester the driver with it. My brother fully embraced his wealthy lifestyle while I tended to use it only when it involved spoiling my wife.
“So, why are you picking me up?” I asked as we settled into the backseat.
He reached into a mini cooler and handed me a bottle of water and grabbed another for himself.
“Well, it’s been a while since you’ve been around. Figured I’d give you an update before the meeting.”