God, he was gorgeous.
The first spasm hit me as my body began to shake in the all too familiar way that sent my body into tremors.
“Oh God!” I cried out.
He moaned, grasping my head to pull me into a deep kiss.
We came together, much like everything else in life.
His body shuddered as my legs fell back to the bed like limp spaghetti.
“My wife,” he whispered against my cheek.
“My husband,” I reciprocated.
His protective warm arms pulled me into the one place where I felt at home, the one place I was meant for.
I winced slightly as I stood, and suddenly, Jude was there, taking my hand.
“Are you sore?”
I blushed, smiling shyly. “It’s the good kind of sore, Jude. I’ve been sore before.”
“You have?” he asked, an eyebrow lifting in surprise.
My eyes roamed over his still naked form. “Yes.”
“Why have you never said anything?” He tugged on my hand, pulling me toward the bathroom, where he’d just emerged from.
Condoms, with the immediate cleanup they required, always killed the post-sex bliss a bit.
I followed, not a bit ashamed that I was checking out his butt as we went. His round buttocks bounced. They were so tight that I could throw a quarter at them, and it would come back and hit me square in the eye.
I hadn’t been in the bathroom yet, and I tried not to gape as we entered. My mother’s entire apartment could fit in here—with room to spare.
Okay, maybe not quite, but it would be darn close.
Covered in gray-and-white marble, the shower looked big enough to fit an entire high school football team, and it had enough showerheads to cover each teammate from head to toe. I didn’t know exactly why one person would need all that room or showerheads, but I suddenly wanted to find out.
My head turned as we came to a stop in front of a huge porcelain tub. It reminded me of something from another era with its claw-foot bottom and ornate gold finish, but it had modern features, like jets and enough space for two.
Jude bent down and fiddled with the nozzles until he got the temperature to his liking. There were two bottles resting on a fancy towel. He held both out to me. “Which one?”
“Are you going to join me?” I asked, raising an eyebrow in challenge.
“Are you naked?” he replied in question, his eyes twinkling with humor.
I looked down at my lack of clothing, a mischievous smile tugging at my lips, and then I dragged my gaze back up to him.
I laughed briefly, shaking my head at his goofiness. I took a sniff at each bottle. I turned my nose up at the first—a musky rose scent. The second was more soothing—lavender and a bit of vanilla maybe. Jude dropped a small amount into the bath, and it quickly turned into frothy bubbles. I watched as he stepped in. With his back against the porcelain, he motioned for me to join him. Taking my time so that I wouldn’t slip, I placed my foot between his legs and descended into the hot water. My back was against his warm chest, and I felt his hands slowly dripping water down my arms and shoulders.
“Why didn’t you tell me that you’ve been sore before?” he asked softly as his head rested near my ear.
I took a deep breath. “Because I was afraid you’d pull back.”
“Pull back how?” He turned my head toward his.
“Tonight, the way you were, you’ve never been like that, Jude. And I know it’s because you’re afraid you’ll hurt me, that I’ll break somehow.”
His mouth opened to protest, but I continued, “Let me finish.”
He nodded against my cheek.
“I don’t blame you, and I don’t think less of you or feel dissatisfied. But sometimes, I see you holding back. And I don’t want that, Jude. I never want you to feel like you have to tread carefully around me—in the bedroom or anywhere else in our marriage. I want to be your equal—in everything. I’m not fragile anymore.”
“I know.”
“I know you do, so please stop treating me like I’m made of porcelain. I want all of you—the good, the bad, in sickness and health,” I said, quoting the traditional vows we’d decided to forgo but knew still applied.
“Even if it hurts you?” he asked, his hand slipping between my legs where I felt tender from the madness of consummation.
“Yes, especially then. Because those are the times we’ll need each other the most.”
“Can I ease it? The pain?” he asked, knowing we weren’t talking metaphors anymore.
“You can do that? How did you learn to do something like that?”
Why did I ask that?
Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.
“You ask like it’s a superpower. It’s just an idea. I’m not sure it will work, but I thought we’d try.”
I exhaled, not realizing I’d been holding my breath.
He chuckled a bit behind me.
“Was that a bit of jealousy I sensed?”
I shrugged, and he tilted my head upward to meet his green eyes.