By the time they had finished their supper and she had put Ivy to bed, she was sure Josh had decided to fire her. She would have to leave the ranch, find a place in another town, another state. She felt sick just thinking about it. She tried to mentally prepare herself, but kept clinging to the fragile hope he would let her stay.
She wasn’t willing to barter herself—offer sex in exchange for keeping her job. That was never going to happen, though the notion had an embarrassing amount of appeal. Still, there was a chance they could come to some kind of understanding. She should at least give it a try.
It was getting late. She’d give anything to talk to Lisa, tell her what was happening, get some best-friend advice. Lisa was her rock, the one person she could always count on.
Tory toed off her sneakers and was starting to get undressed when she heard Josh’s familiar three quick raps on the door. Her pulse kicked up. Hurrying across the living room, she stopped to check the peephole just to be sure, then pulled open the door.
Josh stood on the porch, his features grim. Her heart squeezed.
“You got a minute to talk?” he asked.
She swallowed, nodded, stepped out on the porch and quietly closed the door. The night was warm, a light breeze rustling through the thick green grasses. She could hear birds lifting off a pond close to the house.
Josh pulled something out of his back pocket and set it on the wooden table next to the door. Moonlight slanted down, illuminating the cleft in his chin and the planes of his handsome face. “I bought you a phone when I was in town.”
Thank God. Now she could call her friend. “You can deduct it from my—”
He held up a hand, silencing her.
“Thank you,” she said.
Josh looked down at her. They both started to speak at the same time. “I’m sorry about what happened,” they said in unison.
“It wasn’t your fault,” they both said.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly.
“Not your fault,” Josh said, but of course it was.
His hand came up to her cheek. He was staring at her mouth. She looked into those blue, blue eyes and everything inside her clenched.
She told herself not to do it, that it was too big a risk. But her heart wasn’t listening. Rising up on her toes, she very softly kissed him. Josh went utterly still.
“We can’t, Tory.” He pushed a copper curl away from her face.
“I know. It shouldn’t have happened the first time.”
Josh just nodded. Bending his head, he brushed a featherlight kiss over her lips, just the briefest of touches. Her breath hitched, came out on a sigh.
His eyes darkened, the blue turning nearly black. “I want you,” he said. “So damned much.”
“I want you, too.”
Josh’s big hand slid into her hair. He pulled her into his arms, his mouth crushed down over hers, and Tory melted. When her lips parted in invitation, his tongue swept in. Instead of stopping, it was as if something broke free. Josh took, demanded, didn’t back away, made her want everything she had missed out on that afternoon.
His kiss was hot, wet, and deep, his hands in her hair, holding her in place as he ravaged her lips. Tory shoved up his T-shirt. Josh dragged it off over his head and tossed it away. Her hands ran over his chest, tracing the hard planes and valleys, the twisted flesh on his side, a mark of honor from the war. In the moonlight he looked like a warrior fashioned in bronze.
Josh unbuttoned her blouse, his fingers steadier this time but not much. He shoved the fabric off her shoulders, let it fall to the porch. Tory unhooked her bra and shrugged it off, rose up and kissed him, felt the heat of his hands on her breasts, big hands, strong and calloused, hands that seemed to know exactly how to touch her, caress her, make her burn.
She moaned, everything inside her aching with need and on fire. Trembling, she bent and pressed her mouth against a flat copper nipple. Josh’s fingers slid back into her hair, holding her in place as she circled the hard tip with her tongue.
He groaned, dragged her mouth back to his and kissed her, first one way and then another, kissed her and kissed her and kissed her. Both of them were breathing hard, gasping for air when he pulled away.
“Tory, baby, if we don’t stop now, I won’t be able to.”
“I don’t want you to stop.” She leaned up and pressed a kiss against his jaw, felt the rough stubble she found so appealing.
“I don’t want to hurt you, honey.”
“You won’t hurt me. Please, Josh. I need you.”
“Jesus, God, you have no idea how bad I want you.” He kissed the side of her neck, nipped the place below her ear just hard enough for her to feel it. “I’m not a gentle lover. If I take you, you’ll know it. Are you sure?”
Heat and need rolled through her, followed by an instant of uncertainty as she thought of Damon. But this was Josh. He had helped her when no one else would. He had been kind to Ivy. This was Josh and she trusted him.
And she wanted him like she had never wanted another man. Just once, she wanted to experience this wild desire, wanted to claim this moment of passion for herself. “Yes . . .”
The single word was all the encouragement he needed. In minutes her jeans were gone and she stood on the porch in nothing but a pair of white cotton bikini panties. The next thing she knew, those were gone, too, and he was kissing her again, lifting her, wrapping her legs around his waist.
His belt buckle jangled. His zipper buzzed down. She was hungry for him, dizzy, and on fire.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I want you inside me. Please, Josh.”
His big hands gripped her bottom as he moved backward, propping her shoulders against the wall. Kissing her hard, he surged upward, taking her deep, filling her completely. When she gasped, Josh cursed.
“I’m sorry. I—”
“Don’t stop. Oh, God, Josh, don’t stop.” She moved on him, taking him deeper, feeling his heavy arousal, the heat, moaning, destroying the last of his control.
Josh drove into her again and again. He was big and he was hard and he felt incredible. Tory clung to him as the first wave struck, sent pleasure burning through her. She moaned and clung to his neck.
The second climax shocked her, left her limp and barely able to hang on. He rode her into another amazing climax—impossible, she thought as he finally let himself go, reaching his own powerful release.
Time spun out, seemed to stand utterly still. Eventually they began to spiral down, Tory limp against Josh’s chest. Kissing her one last time, he slowly lowered her to her feet.
Her legs were shaking. She felt exhausted yet alive with energy. Tory stared up at him. “Oh. My. God.”
He frowned. “Did I hurt you?”
She couldn’t stop a smile. “You were amazing.”
His wide shoulders relaxed. “That’s good. Better than good. I’ll be right back.” He was wearing a condom, she realized, and couldn’t believe this was the first time she had thought of protection. Oh. My. God.
The good news was, thanks to Damon, she was on a tiny birth control implant called Nexplanon that lasted for up to three years.
Josh returned a few minutes later, grabbed her panties and jeans off the porch, and handed them over. “I came here to talk. I guess it’s too late for that now.”
Her face colored. She couldn’t believe she had actually had sex with Josh Cain against the wall in front of her house.
She didn’t know whether to apologize again or just leave before he fired her. Instead, she put her panties back on and pulled on her jeans, put on her blouse without the bra.
“I can see your mind working,” Josh said as he dragged his T-shirt over his head. “What’s going on in that female brain of yours?”
“I don’t know. I can hardly think.”
His mouth edged up for the first time that night. “In this particular case, that’s not a bad thing.”
“I don’t understand how it happened. I couldn’t seem to help myself. It was like I went a little crazy.”
“I know the feeling. How long since you’ve had sex?”
“If that was sex, I’ve never had it before.”
Josh laughed and the sound turned her inside out.
“This is not how I saw this going down,” he said.
“How did you see it going down?”
“If you want the truth, I didn’t see it happening.”
“Ever?”
“No, but now that it has, I’m not sorry.”
“We can’t do it again.”