“Then let me go.”
“I’m not keeping you for that, Lola.” He pulls, and I fall off balance, landing in his arms in an awkward, painful sprawl. His other hand fists in my hair, pulls back. I stare at the harsh overhead light while he murmurs in my ear. “You owe me a hell of a lot more than whatever’s in my wallet, and I think you know that. So don’t give me any trouble. Or you know what? Do. Go ahead and fight. It’ll just make me hotter.”
*
I rest my chin on his chest, fingers playing in his hair. “Is it true?”
“Is what true?”
“What they say about you.” I don’t need to spell it out, but he’s making me. “That you killed a kid at your last school.”
His eyes are dark. “People talk too much.”
My heart lurches. “So it’s true.”
He shrugs, which shifts his large body underneath mine. He’s cradling me, one hand on my back, the other on my ass. We’re nestled in the attic, hidden away. I feel completely safe—the exact opposite of how I should with what he’s just admitted.
I’m scared too. I don’t know what he’s capable of or why. I don’t know what will set him off. For now he seems to like me. And for now, that’s enough.
“Is your name really Blue?”
He makes a face. “Really?”
I like this lighter side of him, the one that isn’t so serious. The one who isn’t about death. The one who isn’t dangerous. “I just want to know something about you. Something real.”
“Then tell me something real about you, Hannah. That’s my price.”
“Okay.” I play with the bristles on his chin, distracting myself. “My mom killed herself.”
Surprise registers in his eyes. “That’s heavy.”
I look away. So much for keeping things light. “Yeah, well, it’s real. Now you tell me something.”
“Eugene,” he mutters.
My gaze snaps back to him. “What?”
“My name is Eugene Blue.”
I can’t help it—I laugh. It’s dangerous to laugh at a boy like this, one who’s killed, one who admits it without even looking guilty. But the corner of his lip turns up.
“Can I call you that?” I tease him.
He tries to look stern. “Not if you want me to answer.”
It’s a little piece of him, his name, something only for me. I nuzzle his chest, and he lifts my chin. His eyes are serious. “I’m sorry about your mom.”
I swallow hard. “Thanks.”
He leans forward, and his lips touch mine. He doesn’t move them or push his tongue inside. We stay like that, lips against lips, breath mingling.
When I pull back, he touches his forehead to mine.
“Why did you do it?” I whisper.
This time he doesn’t make me spell it out.
“Because he called me Eugene,” he says with a straight face.
It’s wrong, but I laugh. He is the only boy who makes me laugh. “For real though.”
His expression gets hard. “It’s real simple. The people outside—the judge and the jury. They don’t know what it’s like. It’s kill or be killed, and fuck if I’m going to let anyone touch me.”
My breath catches in my throat. I wish I had that kind of conviction.
I wish I had that kind of strength.
“Why aren’t you in jail?”
He shrugs. “I’m a minor and there were mitigating circumstances. That’s what they call it—mitigating circumstances.”
“Oh,” I say, not really understanding.
“They’d been kicking me around and it was documented by the caseworker. So it got labeled self-defense. I just have to keep my nose clean until I’m eighteen. Then I can get out of this shithole town. And I’m never coming back.”
Chapter Seven
He’s staring at me like he’s going to devour me when the knock comes. I jump at the sound, because it pounds through the wall to be heard over the steady din outside.
Blue mutters a curse and pushes away from me.
I immediately breathe in deep. Having him surround me, crowd me, had been stifling. Having him gone feels like a loss. Will I always feel this conflicted about him? Will I always want to push him away and then miss him when he’s gone?
Oscar says something to Blue that I can’t hear, but I get the message. People want to use the locker room, and it’s becoming a problem keeping them out.
I force myself to stand and straighten my clothes with as much dignity as I can find. Which isn’t much considering the red scrapes all over my breasts and probably my neck. My whole body feels stretched and twisted, set on fire and then left to burn.
It’s my Lola persona that smiles at Oscar over Blue’s shoulder and winks. “I was on my way out anyway. I think I got what I came for.”
Blue growls in his throat. “You’re not getting away that fucking easy.”
Oscar’s eyebrows rise. I know he hasn’t seen Blue talk to other girls like that. Blue wouldn’t tolerate a bouncer under his command treating one of us that way.
He makes an exception for me.
“Give me a couple more minutes,” Blue says.