Best Laid Plans

There is a God.

There is a very good God.

“That’s one of my favorite words.” I clear my throat, grabbing hold of the tiny bit of logic still circling in my brain. “I assume we should establish some ground rules.”

She nods vigorously. “Oh, definitely. Like I’ve said, we can pretty much devote a week to it. Anything longer becomes messy, but I honestly think we can accomplish everything in that time. And beyond that, when the seven days end, I think we also agree to stay friends.”

“I can’t imagine us not being friends.” It’s true, but I’m wondering about other ground rules, like her place or mine, and do we need safe words, but sure—the maintenance of the friendship is key too.

“Whew. Me too. That’s the most important thing to me. I want you in my life, Gabe.”

“I want you in mine.” That feels like the truest thing I’ve voiced all night, and it’s freeing, so damn freeing, to admit it, even if it’s in this veiled context.

“And another would be if at any point something I ask you to try bothers you—”

I laugh harshly. That might be the most ridiculous thing she’s ever said. Anyone’s ever said. “You don’t have to worry about that.”

“But I do. I want you to be comfortable, especially because I might ask a lot of questions.” Her voice rises at the end, like she wants permission to quiz me.

“Bring it on. I love a dirty talker.”

She laughs, glancing down as if she’s embarrassed. ‘Well, I wasn’t thinking like that, exactly.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll get you there in the dirty talk department.”

“And I think, too, you can look at this as a practical class. And I suppose you’re the teacher.”

I hum happily. “Hands-on classes were always my favorite.”

She quirks a brow in a question, then shakes her head. “Yes, I suppose it is hands-on.”

How else would we be practicing if not hands-on? But I don’t say that. If she needs to ease into this, it’s fine by me. “And where do you want to start? You want to get out of here and go to my house or to yours?”

She furrows her brow. “Do we need to do that?”

I blink, trying to process what she’s saying, and then it hits me. Duh. I missed the obvious signs. She’s trying to break out of her shell. She doesn’t want to practice sex at home. She wants to try it in an elevator, or my truck, or maybe even right here.

I glance around, a dirty grin tugging at my lips. “We can start right here if you’d like.”

“We can?” Her voice is feathery.

“If that works for you.”

She draws a quick breath, then another, like she’s gulping for air. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

Music to my ears.

Since all good sex practice starts with a kiss, I close my eyes and dip my face closer to hers, inhaling her sweet smell, savoring the closeness of her skin. I inch nearer, ready to kiss her breathless. I didn’t expect we’d move so quickly, but I have no objections to this pace. None at all, as her honey-scented lotion floats into my nostrils, blurring my mind with the possibilities of pleasure.

But my lips meet nothing but a whoosh of air. My eyes fly open. She’s standing above me. I blink, trying to sort out why she leaped up so quickly.

It doesn’t look like she jumped away from me. It looks like maybe she missed I was going in for a kiss.

She smooths her hands over her skirt, spins around, and parks her hands on the arm of the couch, bending into an L. “Should we start with spanking?”

“You don’t want to ease into it a little more?”

“Go big or go home, right?”

I didn’t think lesson one would be ass-smacking, but I’m a flexible guy. Plus, she has a fantastic rear, so I can handle this curveball. I move behind her and bring my hand to her hip to adjust her position.

“We can just do all of this with clothes on, right?”

I stop, the record scratching to a halt. “We can?”

“I meant to say that. Didn’t I say that? I had so many things I wanted to say.” Her brow pinches as if she’s trying to remember. “That's what I said, right?”

“I feel like I’d have remembered that,” I say flatly.

“Oh.” Her face is crestfallen. “That’s what I meant with the sample part. The ‘just a taste’ part.”

My shoulders sag. My libido has been kicked in the nuts. “That’s what you meant?”

She stands up straight, smiling like she’s proud of herself. “I think the best part of this is we don’t have to get naked. All I want is to test out some options here and there. A little biting, a little spanking, and we don’t even have to take off our clothes for that. Since we’re friends, we can basically act, and that way we won’t technically cross any lines.”

Kill. Me. Now.

I’m playing Fifty Shades of Blue Balls.

And I’m already halfway there.





15





Gabe





I like to think I’ve seen nearly everything.

I’ve pulled mangled bodies out of cars that have crashed on the highway. I’ve witnessed hearts restarting in the back of ambulances as sirens blared. I’ve been called to some wild scenes at homes, featuring apples and broomsticks that have been stuck in openings where neither fruit nor cleaning supplies belong.

But this?

My best friend asking me to play sex charades?

This is the very definition of being thrown for one hell of a loop the loop. Here I was, sliding into the evening with one thing in mind: finding the best opening to let the woman know how I feel.

And while I was strutting down Feelings Street, she’s swept in front of me, cut me off, and taken a sharp left down Let’s Act It Out Lane.

I clear my throat. Drag my hand through my hair. Try to sort out my thoughts. “So we’re basically doing wrestling moves?”

“Exactly!” She nods enthusiastically, her smile spreading. Clearly, this project is important to her and delights her. I ought to find a way to share that excitement. But it’s admittedly a little hard.