I still didn’t entirely understand how we’d gotten here, but I was done questioning it. I wanted Con, and I wasn’t going to let him go.
My worries about how Archer and my father would each take the news faded away when Con picked me up off the chair—which he’d sanitized after our unorthodox use of it—and carried me up the stairs to his bed.
“You have anywhere to be in the morning?”
I mentally paged through my calendar. “Brunch at eleven with Elle. We try to do it every Sunday.”
“Still attached at the hip like you were in school?”
I smiled. “Not attached at the hip, per se. But she’s still my best friend. We work together.”
“I always liked her. She seemed a little more wild and crazy than the rest of you.”
“Are you telling me you had a crush on my best friend?”
Con grinned. “Jealous, princess?”
“What do you think?”
Con slid into bed and pulled me flush against him, so my cheek was resting on his chest. “No reason to be. I always thought she’d be a good friend to have on your side. Can’t say I ever stopped thinking about you long enough to think much else about her.”
“Oh.”
Con’s stubbled jaw lowered as he pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I spent way more time being jealous over you and Duchesne. Hated him because of how close you were.”
I shifted and wished there was enough light in the room to read his expression. “Even though you know we’ve never been anything more than friends?”
“I didn’t know that then. Not sure I would’ve believed it.”
“But you believe it now?”
“Yeah. And not just because you’re in my bed and not his. Besides, I’ve seen firsthand how hung up he is on Charlie.”
“I worry about that.” And I did. Simon was head over heels, and I still wondered what he really knew about Con’s receptionist. She was almost a female version of him. All tattoos and mystery.
“Don’t borrow trouble. No point. They’re adults, and they’ll fumble their way through it themselves.”
Another question occurred to me. “Is that really why you’ve always hated Simon? Because of me?”
I could feel Con’s heart thumping against my palm. He didn’t answer for several beats.
“It’s not hard to hate someone who has everything you’ve ever wanted. Just so happened Duchesne was that guy for me. I was a foster kid, a charity case, and he was the son of a fucking congressman. He had parents who thought the sun shined out of his ass, and I had a mom who ran off and a dad who left too many bruises to cover when family services came around.”
My heart broke for the boy who’d felt so unloved and unwanted. But it explained a lot about Con.
“But what about the Leahys?” I asked. “I’m pretty sure they thought the sun shined out of your ass, too.”
I could hear the affection in his voice when Con said, “Yeah, I guess they did.” His tone was more serious when he added, “And look what it got them.”
He released me and rolled to his back, reaching his arms above his head to grip the wrought iron bars of the headboard.
“Con?”
“That’s exactly why I should tell you to go. Tell you to get the hell away from me. Because now the shit I’m into is even more dangerous. I’ve spent years in the gutter turning up every filth-covered rock to find justice. And when you do that, you attract all sorts of the wrong kind of attention. If someone thinks I’m getting too close, I don’t even want to consider what they might do to stop me. Hit me where it hurts—where I’m weak—and that’s you.”
The atmosphere surrounding the bed turned cold. I’d never aspired to be someone’s weakness. I wasn’t certain how to take that.
“So what are you saying?” I asked. “Because I thought we were finally on the same page.” But maybe I’m wrong, I added silently.
“I’m not saying anything other than I need you to know that if you throw in with me publicly, you need to be careful. A hell of a lot more careful than you have been.” He turned and flipped on the bedside lamp before facing me again. “And if you can’t handle that, you need to tell me right now. Because I already told you I’m not giving you another easy out.”
I may not have understood the risks he was talking about, but I knew one thing for certain—Con wouldn’t let anyone hurt me if it was humanly possible to prevent it. I wasn’t sure how I could make it any clearer that I wasn’t walking away regardless of any out he might offer.
I pressed closer to him. “And I already told you that I want this. We’re going to figure out a way to make it work. Now shut up and kiss me.”
Con’s smile was soft as he flipped off the light and rolled to cover my lips—and my body—with his.
It was a long time before either of us got any sleep.