I snagged the whiskey and poured another glass as though I wasn’t affected by the conversation. Years of training kept my movements steady and my expression neutral.
I recapped the bottle and set it on the shelf. Before I could take a drink, Vanessa snatched up the glass and downed it.
My laugh was strangled and harsh. “It ain’t too late to back out, princess. I’m not forcing you into shit.”
She replaced the empty glass on the granite bar with a clunk and reached up, wrapping both hands around my neck and dragging my face down to hers. Our lips connected, and her hot little tongue slipped inside my mouth.
What the hell?
Breaking out of my momentary paralysis, I buried one hand in her hair and slid the other around her back. I slanted my mouth along hers and took control of the kiss. She tasted of whiskey spiked with something sweet.
Whiskey she’d had to drink to find the courage to kiss me.
If I were a better man, I’d have stopped the kiss. But I wasn’t. And I didn’t.
I slid my hand lower, cupping her ass and lifting her off her feet. Her legs twined around my waist as she pulled her head back. “You need to stop carrying me everywhere. I’m too heavy.”
“Shut up. You’re fucking perfect.”
I crossed the room and lowered us to the couch. Vanessa unwrapped her legs and knelt above me.
“Are we really doing this?” Her tone was underscored by something that sounded strangely like… amazement.
I needed to set the ground rules for tonight.
“Making out on the couch like fucking teenagers? Yeah. We’re doing that. Straight up fucking? No.”
Vanessa pulled back, her forehead scrunching in confusion. “But I thought…”
“Told you the next time I fucked you we’d both be stone cold sober.”
Realization dawned. “You’re seriously worried you’re not going to remember tonight? Neither of us is drunk.”
“Don’t care. I’m not changing my mind.”
Her eyes flashed, as though I’d thrown a challenge down. If the woman wanted to try to change my mind, she was more than welcome. But it wouldn’t happen.
“Why?”
“I’m not taking the chance that you’re doing this only because of the liquid courage.”
“But—”
I gripped her around the waist and gave her a little tug forward. “No.”
She rested her hands on the couch on either side of my head. “I don’t get you.”
“I’ve waited a hell of a long time for this, and I guess I can wait a little longer.” She pushed against the cushions and shifted her legs, preparing to climb off my lap. I tightened my grip. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“I thought you just said we weren’t doing this?”
“Did you miss the first half of what I said? We’re totally fucking making out like teenagers. And I might even try to round third base.” Her cheeks flushed a deeper red. “Don’t worry that you’re going to get bored, princess.”
“Oh.”
“So give me that mouth again.” I waited, wondering if she’d take the initiative, or if I’d have to help her along.
She leaned in, her lips an inch from mine. “You’re kind of bossy. You know that, right?”
“You like it.”
“You sure about that?”
“As sure as you’re straddling my lap right now.”
“Cocky bastard.” She didn’t speak the words so much as breathe them, the final syllables lost as our lips collided. My cock, already hard, pulsed against the zipper of my jeans.
Sorry, bud. Not tonight.
I was too old and too heavy to be straddling a man’s lap. But whiskey was an amazing thing. It wiped away inhibitions and made otherwise questionable actions seem perfectly reasonable. Advisable, even.
Now I understood why Con insisted on no sex until we were sober. Because he didn’t trust that I would actually follow through if I wasn’t. I was going to prove him wrong.
Even as we devoured each other and heat gathered between my legs, I was firmly aware of what I was doing. I hadn’t had that much to drink. I was also firmly aware that part of Con’s appeal was an edge of danger. It was so cliché, but something inside me had lit and burned brightly when he’d said he wouldn’t rest until he’d gotten justice for his parents. That kind of devotion—that kind of gut-wrenching emotion—wasn’t something I’d witnessed very often in my life. I wondered what it would be like to be the focus of that kind of ferocity.