I bring my focus back to the men surrounding Coop and take in each one of their faces. They hold so much pain and grief. This is what the face of hopelessness looks like.
“No, no, no! Coop, Coop, you stay with us. Do you hear me?” I sob and scream. Beg for him to be okay. When the paramedics rush in and tell me to move out of the way, I refuse at first. I’m keeping him alive. How can they think of asking me to move! It takes both Beck and Greg to pull me off of his body. When they finally roll him into the back of their rig, I collapse and let out every single scream and ounce of agony left in my body as Beck holds me tight. Axel leaves with Coop, Maddox leaves in the second ambulance with Emmy, and when they come to tell me I need to be checked out, I fight them tooth and nail. Beck finally tells them that they will have to look me over while I sit in his arms.
I look around the room while I hold onto Beck with everything left in my body and take in the grief stricken faces of those that are left. Greg is standing off to the side talking with one of the cops. Another one is talking to Sway over by the couches. Chelcie, having just finished giving her statement, comes to stand next to where Beck is rocking me on the floor.
I remember hearing Beck tell the officers that they would have to follow us over to the hospital before they would get the rest of our statements. Greg finishes up and helps Beck stand from the floor so that he can keep his arms around me. I don’t realize until we are on the way to the hospital that the reason he couldn’t stand on his own is because we had been sitting in the middle of the slippery, dark red, pool of blood that Coop’s body had left behind.
Three hours.
Three painful hours.
That’s how long we’ve been sitting here waiting for the closed door to finally open. Waiting for answers and praying for a miracle. When I look at the faces of the people around me, I know that we all know how grim this looks.
We arrived at the hospital to find Axel in the waiting room. Maddox hasn’t left Emmy’s side since he carried her into the ambulance back at the office. He’s currently sitting in one of the stiff waiting room chairs with her small body curled in his arms. Dee moves her head off my chest long enough to give her statement to the police. Listening to her play back the events that lead us to where we are right now does nothing to ease the gut-burning dread that is eating away inside me.
Coop was shot right under our fucking noses, and because we had been stuck on some stupid, fucking conference call with some stupid, fucking city official that wanted us to check on his wife, we hadn’t been there.
Right now, Coop is fighting for his life, and I can’t help but think this is our fault. The only reason we shut that door is because we couldn’t let the girls hear the city official on the phone. Eight minutes later, we have Sway throwing the door open screaming for us to get to the front.
Eight minutes is all it took for our backs to be turned long enough, and the unthinkable happen. Right. Under. Our. Noses.
I can’t even let my mind think about how close I came to losing Dee again. Every single time my mind tries to go down that path, I feel as if my heart is being torn from my chest. I shift her and pull her still form closer to my chest. I need to feel that she is alive and right here with me.
I see Chelcie shift, her arms still wrapped around her stomach, and her pale face still dripping with the occasional tear.
“Chelcie?” I wait for her to look at me before continuing. “Are you okay?”
She jumps slightly before her body stills and her tears pick up.
Shit. I don’t want to upset her more. “Chelc?”
She just looks at me. With her eyes vacant and her head slowly shakes back and forth. I sigh and shift one of my arms from Dee’s body. I feel her wiggle closer to make up for the loss of my arm before settling in again. I motion for Chelcie to come over. She doesn’t waste a second rushing across the room and dropping into the chair next to us. I wrap my arm around her shoulder and pull her into my chest. She wraps her arm around both Dee and me, and lets out the emotions she’s obviously been holding in tight. Dee reaches out and hugs her, offering her some of the strength she has left. We sit here like this for what feels like forever before the door opens. We all stiffen, waiting to see who will be walking through that door.
I’ve settled back in my seat when Izzy and Melissa come in. Izzy rushes right into Axel’s arms. He drops his face into her neck, and I watch his shoulders shake. He’s held it in, and I have no idea how. The only thing keeping me from breaking down is knowing that I need to stay strong for Dee right now. Melissa walks as fast as her belly will allow, and Greg meets her halfway. Like Axel, he holds his wife close, and they just stand there. None of us knows what else to do but keep praying and try our hardest to keep our shit together.