I flipped the lock and then sank to the floor, my back against the door. The cool wood was a balm to my overheated, traitorous skin. I hugged my knees to my chest.
I was alone. Just like I was meant to be. Everyone left, whether it was by choice or not. It was better to be alone from start to finish. Tears tracked down my cheeks. “I miss you, Mom.” The words were the faintest whisper. “I miss you so fucking much.”
Pound, pound, pound. The noise at my door mirrored the beating in my skull. “Hold your freaking horses, I’ll be right there,” I bellowed in the direction of the front door.
I rolled to a seated position on the couch where I had fallen asleep the night before. Apparently, my bedroom twenty feet away was simply too far. I was still wearing my outfit from my night out, and I was sure my mascara had run down my face. Shit. I got to my feet, steadying myself on the back of the couch when the world turned on its axis a bit.
When the living room had righted itself, I headed towards the front door. “Who is it?” I called when I was two feet away.
“It’s your partner in crime,” Jensen yelled through the door.
A grin stretched across my face, and I pulled open the door. Jensen stood there, holding two cups of coffee balanced on top of what looked like a box of donuts. “Thought you might need a pick-me-up,” she said as she brushed past me, making a beeline for the kitchen.
I followed her and the scent of caffeine. “You really are an angel sent from Heaven.”
Jensen waved a hand in front of her face as she opened the box of goodies with the other. “I know, I know.” She took a bite of a glazed donut as she studied me. “You look like shit,” she said while chewing. “What happened to you?”
The color drained from my face as it all came flooding back. Tequila shots. Dance floor. Walker. Walker’s lips. Oh, shit.
“Taylor. Taylor! What the hell? Are you okay?” I blinked as Jensen came into focus. She was standing right in front of me now, hand on my elbow.
“I think I might have fucked up last night.” Complete understatement. More like I made a total fool of myself.
Jensen’s brows raised. “What are you talking about?”
I twisted my ring, my stomach roiling. “I might have made a pass at your brother.” I covered my face with my hands, unable to watch Jensen’s reaction.
“That is awesome!”
I peeked at her through my fingers. “How in the world is that awesome?”
Jensen looked confused. “I love the idea of you two together. Did you think I’d be mad or something?”
I dropped my hands to my sides. “He rejected me. Nothing happened.” Nothing but a soul-searing kiss I’d never forget.
Her face fell. “Dang it. He is such a freaking idiot sometimes.”
Now it was my turn to look perplexed. “What are you talking about?”
She took a sip of her coffee. “He likes you. I can tell.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” Jensen hadn’t seen how Walker had shoved me away.
Jensen’s gaze dropped to her coffee cup as she nibbled on her lower lip. “Listen, Walker was almost engaged once.”
I sucked in a breath, a weird stab of jealousy hitting my chest.
“Growing up, Walker was always about Julie. He was head over heels for her from the time he was ten years old and she was nine. He gave her everything from that age on, too. See, she had a crappy home life—single mom who cared more about getting drunk and laid. Jules spent most of her time at our house, and Walker looked out for her like she was spun gold.”
I swallowed against my dry-as-a-desert throat. “What happened?”
Jensen’s jaw got tight. “They dated all through high school and the first year he was off at college. They were planning a life together. Walker even had a ring, but he wanted to wait until after graduation to give it to her.”
Jensen gripped the counter, her knuckles going white. “The week before graduation, she went missing. Her mom didn’t even report it. It was Walker who called the school to see if she was there when she didn’t answer his calls.”
My heart thudded against my ribs. I kept seeing Walker’s lips pressed against the headstone in my mind.
“Walker left Portland and came down to help search. He was out of his mind with worry. Two weeks later, they found her body. They never caught the guy who did it.” Tears filled Jensen’s eyes. “It’s why Walker’s a cop. He blamed himself for a long time, for not being here to protect her. He decided he would be there to protect others, make sure there weren’t other crimes that went unsolved like this one did.”
I reached out and squeezed Jensen’s hand. “I’m so sorry, J.” She’d lost Julie, too. My heart ached for her, but it cracked for Walker. He’d lost the love of his life.
Jensen shook her head. “He’s drawn to you, Taylor, but he’s never gotten serious with anyone since Julie. He thinks he had his one shot at love and now has to settle for companionship at best. It’s so dumb.”
My chest tightened. “I don’t know about him being drawn to me. I’m not going to lie, there’s an attraction there, but I think it was more a case of mixed signals than anything else.” She looked doubtful. “Honestly, I’m just embarrassed. I was drunk, and I made a fool of myself.” That much was true.
“Whatever you want to believe.” She paused for a moment, studying my face. “I think you two would be good for each other. Even if it isn’t a forever thing.”
The idea of letting Walker into my life in that way, only to watch him go, had panic licking through my veins with such ferocity that I had to grip the counter to steady myself. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Jensen held up both hands. “Okay. I won’t meddle. Promise.”
I forced a small smile. “Thank you.”
She went back to the donuts. “Let’s get to work on curing that hangover. What’s your poison?”
I studied the box. “Got any Boston Cream in there?”
“Girl after my own heart. I’ve got two.”