“It’s been a hell of a day. Just needed to unwind with my best girl for a bit.” I crouched in front of the headstone, letting my fingers trace the letters of her name. I always stuttered when I got to her last name. I had been so sure it would become Cole. There was never a doubt in my mind, but life threw you some nasty curveballs.
I sat down on the grass and, for the next hour, I filled Julie in on life. I told her that I was breaking up with Caitlin. “I wish these conversations weren’t so one-sided. I could really use some pointers on that one.” People would have probably thought it totally weird if they heard me, but Julie and I had always told each other everything. I didn’t want to lose that, even if she were no longer here.
The first time I’d slept with someone after she’d passed, I came to the cemetery afterward and bawled like a fucking baby. From that moment on, I just kept spilling my guts to the silent headstone.
Today, I also filled Julie in on my grandma’s attempt to learn hatchet throwing, Noah’s encounter with his hero MMA fighter, and the new neighbor who kept popping up in my mind. I told her everything I could think of until I ran out things to say. But I felt better.
I pushed to my feet. Bending at the waist, I pressed my lips to the rough stone. “Thanks, Angel. Love you forever and always.”
12
Taylor
I opted for a walk to clear my head before I got behind the wheel to drive home. Thank goodness my SUV had arrived this morning. I don’t think I could have taken a ride home with Jensen. My nerves were too frayed.
I’d made it through the rest of my shift, but barely. It took almost an hour for my hands to stop their faint tremor. I’d dropped someone’s change on the floor when attempting to hand it to them. Tessa, sensing I was still a little unsteady on my feet, took to handing the customers their teas directly so there were no more broken-glass disasters.
I let the early evening air, still warm from the sun, ease my frayed nerves. I inhaled deeply, that sweet pine scent so prevalent here easing me even further. It wasn’t long before I reached the edge of the downtown area. The sidewalks shifted to grass, and the asphalt of the road turned to dirt and gravel.
A bird call caught my attention, and I looked toward the sound. My stomach dropped. A cemetery. Because what I needed after my afternoon was more reminders of the dead and the forgotten. I was about to turn around when my gaze caught on a figure.
He was sitting on the grass, legs sprawled out in front of him and his back resting against the headstone behind him while he faced another. He seemed to be talking to someone. But there was no one there. Walker. His just-shy-of-black hair gleamed in the sun. His tanned skin picked up the fiery hues of the waning day as the sun sank lower in the sky. He was beautiful.
I stood there, watching him. I couldn’t help it. It was as if I were frozen to the spot. Who was he visiting? Who had he lost? Both of his parents were alive, and he had a grandmother. Jensen had mentioned all three in the present tense while we worked. Maybe he was visiting his grandfather’s grave.
Walker pushed to his feet then bent over and did something that stole the breath from my lungs. He kissed the headstone. The gesture was tender and heartbreaking all at once. A sob clogged the back of my throat, and tears pricked at my eyes. I shouldn’t be here. I was trespassing on what was clearly a very private moment.
I turned on my heel to leave but only made it three steps before a voice called out to me. “Taylor?”
I halted my steps and turned to face Walker. I expected his eyes to be sad, his face ravaged by grief and pain, but there was none of that. What I saw was a look of peace and maybe a little curiosity regarding what the hell I was doing at a cemetery on the outskirts of town.
“I’m so sorry.” My cheeks heated. “I didn’t mean to intrude.”
A small grin tipped his full lips. “You didn’t. Plus, I’m pretty sure this is public land.”
I twisted the ring on my right finger in circles. “I know. I just… You were having a moment, and it was private.”
Walker’s face softened. “It’s okay, Taylor. I was just visiting with someone.”
My gaze jumped around, not quite sure where to settle. “That’s nice. That’s good that you visit whoever it is.” To my absolute horror, my eyes began to fill with tears.
“Hey, hey now. It’s all right.” Walker strode two steps forward and pulled me into him. His muscled arms held me tightly in what could only be called a bear hug. His embrace didn’t make my skin crawl like so many of the other comforting gestures directed my way had begun to do. Maybe because it was firm and strong when so many of my friends’ affections seemed unsure. Maybe it was because this man clearly knew what it meant to lose someone he loved.
I let myself relax into Walker’s embrace. Just for a few moments. Just so I could pull myself together. I bit the inside of my cheek until I tasted blood. The flare of pain helped the tears to recede, and I pushed away from Walker’s hard chest.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, wiping at my tears while I stared at the ground. “I’ve just had a long day. I didn’t mean to get weepy on you. I’ll just get back to my car.”
Walker’s hand caught my elbow as I turned to go. “Slow down.” He turned me back to him, but I refused to meet his eyes. He placed two fingers under my chin and lifted. The pads of his fingertips were rough against my soft skin. I swallowed hard.
His eyes searched mine, looking for something, peering into my soul. “There’s nothing to be ashamed about when it comes to feeling deeply.”
I pressed my lips together and nodded. His hand fell away.
“I’ll walk you back to your car.”
He was too close. He saw too much. “That’s not necessary. I’m fine now. Promise.” I forced a smile that felt wonky.
“I could use an excuse to stretch my legs. Honestly, you’d be doing me a favor.”
My nails dug into my palms. He didn’t play fair. “Fine.”
Walker let out a chuckle that seemed to rumble through my body. “Thank you.”