Clark jerked up his chin as I headed out. “Will do.”
Pushing open the door to my office, I blew out a long breath. The ghosts were going to be running rampant today. I rounded my desk and sank into the chair. I punched a few keys on my keyboard to bring my computer to life, then just stared at the home screen, unable to force myself to descend into the dull world of police reports.
My phone buzzed on the desk, sending vibrations through the wood. I snatched it up.
Caitlin: Hey you. Want to get dinner tonight?
Guilt flared in my gut, but I tamped it down. Thinking about Julie didn’t mean I cared any less for Caitlin. Didn’t mean that I wouldn’t be able to love Caitlin one day. I just wasn’t there yet.
I typed out a reply.
Me: I’d love to. Pick you up at 6?
Moments later, my phone buzzed again.
Caitlin: I’ll be waiting. ;-)
I turned back to the boring-as-hell police reports. At least those didn’t make me feel like an asshole.
I took a pull on my beer as Caitlin gazed at me from across the table, her light brown hair curled to frame her heart-shaped face, her makeup perfect. I strained to feel something deeper for her, just a faint flicker of what I’d felt for Julie. It wouldn’t come.
Caitlin took a sip of her wine. “So, how was work?”
“It was good.” I glanced around the bustling restaurant. Folks from town and tourists I didn’t recognize filled the tables. “Mostly just catching up on never-ending paperwork.”
Caitlin’s mouth turned down. “That doesn’t sound like too much fun.”
I chuckled. “A lot of police work is boring. Still needs to get done.”
“So—” Caitlin’s words were cut off by the appearance of someone at our table.
Arthur Grigg was a staple in town. Seventy-eight years old and nosy as all get-out. “Walker, Caitlin,” he greeted, then turned to face me. “I heard there’s a missing hiker.”
“There is.” I eyed Caitlin from across the table. Her lips pressed together in a way that said she wasn’t too happy I had neglected to share this news with her.
Arthur huffed. “Well, what are you doing about it?”
“There’s not a lot we can do at the moment. Search and rescue is on standby, and we have an APB out on her vehicle. Other than that, our hands are tied.”
Arthur’s eyes narrowed. “You’re telling me there’s not one thing you could be doing for that girl? I’d think you of all people would want to be looking for her.”
My jaw tightened, and Caitlin sucked in a breath. “I’d love to be looking for her, but there are thousands of miles of forest around here. Where would I start, if I have no clue where she started?” My chest burned, and I fought against the urge to put the old guy in his place. I knew Arthur didn’t mean any harm, but his words cut deep.
“Well, you could at least put up some missing-person flyers.”
I wanted to ask what posters would do if the hiker was in the middle of the woods, but I resisted. “Tell you what, Arthur. Why don’t you come by the station tomorrow. I’ll print up some flyers, and you and the rest of the bridge club can help me put them up around town.”
Arthur’s chest puffed up as though I’d nominated him for knighthood. “I could get the boys together, and we could help you out.”
“Thank you. That’d be a big help.”
He patted me on the shoulder. “That’s what good communities do, help each other when the chips are down. Now, I’ll let you two youngins enjoy your supper.”
“Thank you, Arthur,” Caitlin said with a strained smile.
I took a long drink of my beer as Arthur walked away. What a day.
My careful gaze swept over Caitlin. She toyed with her fork, staring intently at it. “Why didn’t you tell me about the hiker?”
Shit. It wasn’t that I was trying to keep things from Cait, it was just that I didn’t want to dwell on it. I cleared my throat. “I just didn’t want to darken our night together.”
Her gaze moved to mine. “I want to be there for you. Support you when this kind of thing happens. But I feel like you never let me in.”
A muscle in my cheek ticked. Caitlin couldn’t pick and choose which of life’s hardships she wanted me to share. I’d tried to talk about Julie with her once, but she’d just gotten defensive, as if she were competing with a dead girl. I got it, I did, but she couldn’t have it both ways. “I’m sorry, Cait. I’ll try to share this kind of stuff with you more, but to be honest, sometimes I just want to leave it at the office.”
Caitlin reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “Thank you.” Her gentle smile turned sultry. “I just feel like we should be closer, spend more time together. Which reminds me, I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something.”
“Okay…” Conversations that began like that usually didn’t make me happy.
“I think we should move in together.”
I nearly spit out the sip of beer I’d just taken. Instead, it went down the wrong pipe, and I started coughing. “Cait. I thought we talked about taking things slow?”
Her eyes took on a pleading quality. “I know, but I just love it when you spend the night at my apartment, and you have that big ol’ house up at the ranch that’s practically sitting empty. Don’t you think it makes sense?”
I took a sip of my water, trying to buy time. How I answered this, had the potential to send Caitlin into hysterics. But, honesty was the only option. “I’m not ready for that. And, honestly, I’m nowhere near there. I might never be.”
Caitlin’s face fell, and her lower lip wobbled. “Is this because of Julie?”
My hand tightened around my water glass. “It’s because I’m not there. If you’re looking for someone who wants to settle down quick, that’s not me. I’m sorry.”
Caitlin’s eyes widened. “No! I want you. I don’t care how long it takes.”
A weight settled in my chest. I was a total schmuck, leading Cait down this path when I had no idea if it would end in me committing to her. I needed a drink stronger than beer.
8
Taylor