I removed the foil and pressed the three. The light turned on and the plate began to spin, slow and steady. I was glad someone else was in the house besides me, but I didn’t want to turn around, afraid of the expression on Tyler’s face.
“What happened with you and Sterling?” Tyler asked. “Weren’t you friends a few weeks ago? Why was he saying those things about you?”
“Because it’s the truth,” I said simply.
“Bullshit. I don’t believe that for a second.”
“Why wouldn’t you?” I asked, turning around. “You’ve experienced it firsthand.”
“I just consider myself lucky that I happened to be here at the right time. We had fun, and we were safe. Anything beyond that is no one’s fucking business.”
I laughed once, surprised at his response.
“What do you want me to say?” he asked. “If you’re a slut, I’m a slut.”
“You’re a slut, Maddox.”
“Not lately.”
I fought a smile just as the microwave beeped again. Tyler stood, removing my plate and setting it on the black and white marble island. “And you’re clearly trying to make some adjustments in your life. It’s just fucking wrong for him to throw your past in your face.”
“Does eight weeks ago qualify as my past?” I asked, pulling a fork out of the drawer. I sat down, swirling the silver points around in the baked potato.
“This morning is the past,” Tyler said. “We can be totally different people today if we want. Fuck Sterling if he resents that you’ve changed. People like that are usually dealing with their own shit, anyway, and what they’re pissed about really has nothing to do with you.”
I felt a hot tear fall down my cheek, and I immediately wiped it away.
“Hey,” Tyler said, reaching across the island. “You can talk to me.”
“My sister? Finley? She’s in love with Sterling. That first-love love doesn’t go away.”
Tyler pointed his thumb behind him. “That douche? Why?”
“It doesn’t matter. He’s kind of a certifiable head case, but she loves him. She would be with him, but she’s holding off. She’s taking over my father’s business and doesn’t have time to be in a relationship. They want to be together. She’s fighting it, and he’s been miserable.”
“So how is that your fault?” Tyler asked, confused.
I wiped my nose with my napkin. “He had a … I don’t know … I was over there, talking about finding a new job. We were already drinking, and he had these pills. We took them … I don’t remember much after that, but we…” I nodded.
Tyler nodded, too, letting me know I didn’t have to continue. His face flushed, his teeth clenched. “He drugged you, fucked you, and now he’s blaming you for it.”
I closed my eyes, and more tears fell down my cheek. So many hours of the day had been spent trying not to think of what I’d done and how it could have happened, that hearing Tyler describe it so bluntly made my chest ache.
“I shouldn’t have taken the pill. I didn’t even ask him what it was. I just popped it in my mouth.” My breath faltered. “Sterling loves Fin. If he knew that was going to happen, he wouldn’t have taken it, either. He’s just as scared as I am that she’ll never speak to us again.”
“That’s why you’re…” He gestured to me.
“Yes, why I’m trying to do better. I’m hoping if she ever does find out, she’ll forgive me because…” I choked. “I’m not that person anymore.”
“You’re not. I’m not sure you ever were,” Tyler said, putting his hand on mine. “Eat. You haven’t eaten all day.”
I took a bite, chewing as I cried—as it turned out, that was surprisingly difficult.
Tyler rummaged through the cabinets until he found some Keurig pods. He watched me eat, clearing his throat when he finally got the courage to ask his question.
“Did you … you know … go to the doctor? I imagine neither of you probably thought to use protection.”
I nodded, wishing I could crawl into a hole and die. “Yeah. I’ve had an IUD in one form or another since I was fifteen. I checked out.”
“Good. It could have been a lot worse. Piece of shit,” he grumbled.
“It would be easier to blame him, but it’s not just his fault.” The tears began to flow again. Tyler set a steaming mug in front of me, and then made another for himself. We sipped tea until I stopped crying, sitting together in comfortable silence. We had barely said anything since our initial conversation an hour before, but I felt better just knowing he was there.
Dark circles began to form under his red eyes, and he tapped his keys. “Ellie…”
“Stay,” I blurted out.
“Here?” Tyler said, pointing down at the island.
“Can you?”
“I mean … I guess I could. It’s my day off, anyway. Chief owes me.”
“It doesn’t have to be like last time.”
He made a face. “I know. I’m not a complete asshat.”
“So you’ll stay?” I felt so weak, so vulnerable, but that was preferable to being alone.
“Yeah. I mean, I can if you want me to. On one condition, though.”
I studied him, unsure what he was going to require.
“What if we tried another breakfast?” he asked. “Tomorrow morning.”