“Hey!” I sat up. “What about yoga?”
“Yoga can wait.” Sienna waved me off. “I’ve been craving these since Jethro brought them home last week. It’s the only thing that tastes good right now. I want to hire Jennifer Sylvester to bake them for me every day.”
“You can ask her, she’s coming to the wedding. I’m sure she’d do it.” Ashley stuffed a bite in her mouth and her eyes rolled back into her head. “Ermergerd!”
“I know, right?” Sienna licked a bit of custard from her thumb and moaned.
“You invited Jennifer to the wedding?” I scratched my cheek, keeping my tone nonchalant to disguise the strength of my interest. I hadn’t expected Sienna to invite Jenn, especially after the way Kip Sylvester had acted a fool when first meeting Sienna. He’d made her sign twenty napkins at The Front Porch during Jethro and Sienna’s first date.
Sienna couldn’t answer because she was chewing. She looked to Ashley, her eyebrows raised in question.
“No, I don’t think Jennifer was invited. But Jackson was invited, both on account of being Jessica’s brother, and Jethro wanted to invite the sheriff. Jennifer is going with Jackson,” Ashley explained, her tone normal and calm, like this wasn’t gut-wrenching news.
Like this wasn’t the most loathsome, earth-shattering, abhorrent, and distressing news ever.
“What?” My sharp question was out in the wild before I caught it, propelled from my mouth by the angry beating in my chest. “What do you mean Jennifer is going with Jackson?”
Ashley tensed, her eyes widening. She moved them to Sienna, then back to me. “Uh, exactly that. Jackson is taking Jennifer to the wedding.”
Red tinted my vision, then black.
“How do you know this?” I demanded, standing and stalking to her.
Ashley took a step back, lifting her hands between us. “Calm down, Cletus.”
“How do you know?”
“Because Jackson told me at the bakery. He was there with Jennifer.” Ashley placed a hand on my shoulder then smoothed it down my arm, her eyes wide and concerned.
Her touch brought me back to myself, although my blood pressure was through the roof. The sound of it between my ears muffled the world beyond. I turned, pulling my fingers through my hair; they caught on the curls and tangles, and the pain was sobering.
I needed to calm down.
But I couldn’t.
Jennifer and Jackson . . . they fit. In fact, even her name began with a “J.”
But just the thought, just the thought of seeing them together.
His hands on her . . .
I couldn’t breathe.
“Cletus?” Ashley’s soft voice met my ears, the uncertainty in it shamed me.
I’d come too close to losing my temper. I hadn’t lost my temper in years. I did yoga. I meditated. I composed lists. I plotted and planned. But I never lost my temper.
“I have to go.” I marched to my mat and rolled it up, still seeing red.
“Hey, so, where are you going? Want company?” Sienna tried to sound natural and almost succeeded. She was a good actress.
I shook my head, unable to respond. I was still too angry and I was fixating. Images of Jackson and Jenn, together, him touching her bare skin, holding her waist, looking into her impossible eyes, kissing her . . . a repugnant collage of vile imagery flashed through my mind.
I hated this.
I swallowed, nauseous and dizzy.
I hated this.
I couldn’t stop fixating. The images wouldn’t stop.
I hated this.
I didn’t have control of myself.
And I hated it.
***
“I was wrong.”
Billy glanced up from his desk, his eyes were large with surprise.
I didn’t wait to be invited in. This was only the second time I’d been to his impressive office. The first time was the week after our momma died last year. I brought him soup and bread for lunch to make sure he wasn’t in danger of an emotional breakdown. He hadn’t been.
This time, I was here because of my own questionable emotional well-being.
Billy waited until I closed the door before asking me, “What were you wrong about?”
“Billy.” I blinked at him once, maintaining a frown of intense irritation. “Really?”
He lifted his eyebrows like he didn’t know what I was talking about.
“Firstly, I’m never wrong. So it’s obvious what I’ve been wrong about.”
“I can think of at least a hundred things you’ve been wrong about. You’re going to have to be more specific.”
I shook my head at my brother, placing the food I’d brought for lunch on his conference table. “You disappoint me, brother. Teasing me at a time like this.”
The side of his mouth lifted with a commiserating smile. “Jennifer Sylvester.”
“Precisely.” I winced. Just hearing her name made breathing hard. “How could I let this happen?”
Billy’s smile deepened, though his eyes communicated pity for my situation. “You didn’t let it happen, Cletus. No one would let it happen, just like no person would knowingly surrender their sanity for the sake of getting laid.”